Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Weigookin74]

[red_devil]

Expat friends are fairly shallow relationships. They party with you, drink, etc, but don't expect any deeper relationships with them, don't expect any of them to go out on a limb for you or help you when you need it most - most of them consider themselves extended tourists with no plans to stay in Korea long term. The lifer's are usually married to a Korean girl with kids and family takes up most of their time.

Korean friends want you because you're a foreigner and can "teach them" English. A lot of them will give up when they realize they can't magically become fluent just by hanging out with you, or if you can speak fairly good Korean. Expect phone calls not to be returned, or that they are always "busy". If they get a gf/bf expect them to disappear off the face of the Earth. They might even change their cell number. Just like on Cyworld friendships are sectioned off by "levels". First level friend being their close intimate real friends, very few if any foreigners will ever reach that. Of course Koreans that have lived abroad a long time, or studied abroad can have more of an open mind, and establishing a real friendship with them might be more possible.

Joining a sports club or there are some places that have "mixers" is a good way to make new connections. Probably the closest relationships you can make, (if you're in Korea long term) is to find others in the exact same situation as you, with the same frustrations.

[Cedar]

Red Devil apparently lives in a very different reality from me. Past 15 years in and out of Korea, and I have friends from that first year who I see regularly. I email, text message, FB and talk on the phone with many more people who've been part of my life for at least half a decade.

You want friends? Have common interests and things you do together. More things you do outside of shallow stuff like sitting around drinking and complaining, and the more real connections you're going to make.

[stevieg4ever]

Agreed totally with your post, my exact experience to a tee (with a few exceptions here and there) with many of the locals. I know dozens and dozens of people who would concur and not just E2s either.

Don't talk to me about the knowing Korean bit, do any of your said 'friends' specifically ask you to speak English??

[Cedar]

None of my friends would qualify as friends if they asked me to specifically talk to them in English. My close Korean friends are about 60% non-English speakers and 40% very good English speakers (on the academic track, like me). With the academics we speak whatever works and switch when we need, both ways, both on my side and on their side. If someone answers the phone 'hello' we might start with English, but we'll switch for reasons like needing a Korean term and then naturally the following words are Korean, too. My Korean hasn't always been good, but real friendship require understanding that goes beyond just mistakes in grammar, so we've muddled through, if we had a good enough connection to survive the rough Korean years.

I have also made a handful of lifelong non-Korean friends in my time here. Because there are some amazing foreigners in this country. But I didn't find them in bars!

To re-state:
I've never had a friend who told me to speak to them in English because simply, if they wanted free language help/practice/lessons they wouldn't be a friend, would they?!!

[stevieg4ever]

All fair points, I can relate as well at least to some extent.

[McGenghis]

Five years ago I was a bright-eyed young buck in the hagwon racket in Anseong-si. Like the OP, I used to go to bars and have a drink and sometimes I'd end up talking to Korean folks and sometimes I'd end up with a giant plate of fried stuff in front of me that I couldn't even halve.

I still keep in contact with one of the other teachers at the school on occasion, though her marriage and addiction to Starcraft prevent any kind of frequent intercourse. My best friend then (and now) is a dude from Sri Lanka I met in my fourth week in the country. As he tells it, I was reading a book and still somehow had my nose in the air, but he approached me nonetheless and basically we are brothers now.

He is of the 3-D persuasion and I get to learn a lot about the country from his experiences. I often get the impression that for many English teachers in this country, the seething mass of S-E Asian workers is some kind opaque mystery. Anyone have any friends in the E-9 crowd?

[Cedar]

Yep! An awesome Pakistani friend, he married a jealous Korean lady about 5 years ago and it's been hard to see him since, but we used to totally hang out all the time. Oh and Nepali who I actually first met in Thailand (but we were both hanging in a Korean guesthouse).

[clewis]

I am moving to Anyang in a couple of weeks so I will be one of those foreigner friends you can meet. I have already met a few people via blogs I have found that I plan to meet up with on weekends since they live in different areas. But I will be looking around Anyang for people to hang out with and do stuff with too. Preferably not going out drinking all the time

[Triban]

[DanseurVertical]

[glassandshells]

i'm looking forward to making friends in korea, but i also like to do things on my own. is it safe for a woman to go out solo (to cafes, bars, bath houses, etc.)? is it socially acceptable for a woman to get a drink by herself or go to a restaurant alone?

i apologize if this has been addressed in another thread, but 150+ pages of results came up every time i did a search.

[northway]

[FaceFaceFace]

[DanseurVertical]