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"Why don't you...?" I'm going nuts.
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Kaypea



Joined: 09 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:17 pm    Post subject: "Why don't you...?" I'm going nuts. Reply with quote

This is a really stupid little rant from somebody who needs a life, but here it goes anyway.

People at my school always give me annoying, observational advice or asking questions about annoying things. I've been in Korea for over 2 years and I should be over it, but it seems to be getting worse. I get asked why I don't eat more rice, or why I don't use an umbrella to walk 30 seconds in really light rain. Or if I'm cold, if any of my chest is showing at all (no cleavage, just collarbone skin).

I know it's not a big deal, but the lack of decent replies to these questions is starting to bug me. I'm starting to be kind of a jerk and respond "Why not?" to "Why don't you..." questions, but is there a better way?

I don't believe in giving people cultural lessons when I'm the foreigner, but I'm wondering... Why didn't I give some sort of lesson about this when I first came here?

Don't second guess other adults' behavior. Don't ask why I'm not eating more soup. If I wanted to, I would.

Can anybody give me some advice on how I can be more entertaining, so people won't keep asking me boring questions?
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Setaro



Joined: 08 Aug 2010

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Develop a sense of humour?
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Kaypea



Joined: 09 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Setaro wrote:
Develop a sense of humour?


har, har Rolling Eyes
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Zackback



Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Happens to me all the time.
No problem.
I just say to everything "American culture - it's ok" and just leave it at that.
Most don't know any better and just kinda shrug their shoulders and accept it.
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postfundie



Joined: 28 May 2004

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

this one is easy...make up answers that you find funny. Laugh at those answers and admire yourself. Think about how witty you really are. Do this and develop as a person. Then you won't spend your time being annoyed and you may actually develop skills.
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sadguy



Joined: 13 Feb 2011

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i would throw both hands up in the air and wiggle my hands rapidly and shake my head side to side and exclaim "because i'm the crazzzzzy foreigner!!!!!!" then laugh heartily as you walk off with your head held high, swinging your elbows as if you won something.
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Kaypea



Joined: 09 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I could mark my PMS days on the calendar and tell them not to ask me any questions at all on those days. Very Happy Seriously, I don't usually *care*, I'm just bored today, and hormonally sensitive to boot. Thanks for humoring me. Laughing
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sulperman



Joined: 14 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The lunch thing is something that has started to bug me more lately, after years and years of being here and not being bothered by it. So what if I don't take a 5 pound brick of rice and occasionally don't take one side dish because I don't like it. Is that really so strange? And even if it is, is it worth commenting on every god damned day?

Totally different conversational style here. Back home there is a lot more complaining, s***-talking, and people trying to be clever or witty, and here is a lot more polite, benign, basic conversation about the things in front of you, like rice quantities or how the shirt you are wearing stacks up against the day's weather.
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Kaypea



Joined: 09 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sulperman wrote:
The lunch thing is something that has started to bug me more lately, after years and years of being here and not being bothered by it. So what if I don't take a 5 pound brick of rice and occasionally don't take one side dish because I don't like it. Is that really so strange? And even if it is, is it worth commenting on every god damned day?

Totally different conversational style here. Back home there is a lot more complaining, s***-talking, and people trying to be clever or witty, and here is a lot more polite, benign, basic conversation about the things in front of you, like rice quantities or how the shirt you are wearing stacks up against the day's weather.


I think a certain phase of culture shock is setting in for me. I really, really miss the conversational style from back home, even though it's not so great either. I really need to go home. I'm starting to give my brother unsolicited safety advice over Facebook. Rolling Eyes
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Dazed and Confused



Joined: 10 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 4:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like replies such as
Why not?
'Cause I can.
Who cares?
Yeah and?
Sooooooooooo?
and my favorite- Rolling Eyes (Roll your eyes!)
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JMO



Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Daegu

PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 5:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I make up stuff based on fake Irish culture. Of course I do this to north americans too so apparently koreans aren't the only gullible ones. As long as I keep a straight face I can say more or less anything.
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rainism



Joined: 13 Apr 2011

PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 6:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

it can get annoying, but develop a sense of humor about it.

Try mixing in some humor with honest or half honest responses.

why no rice or not more rice? I'm on a diet is always a good answer. You can then explain to them that rice is all calories, all carbs, no nutrition if you want.

why no soup? I don't like fish soup.

I'm very picky with food and this applies to all food, why would Korean food be any different? it's not all the same. I like some things, I don't like others.
I eat the things I like and don't eat the ones I don't.

Be polite, smile, deflect but stay firm. Be your own woman and eat/do what you please.
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PastorYoon



Joined: 25 Jun 2010
Location: Sea of Japan

PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel bad for the OP. That crap gets old. It's relentless, too. I was asked why I didn't take rice nearly EVERY day for two years. It was to the point where I wore headphones completely in the lunchroom, or didn't eat lunch at all. You could do the same, you know. You could ask questions like:

* "Do you really put cream on your skin to make it white?"
* "Why do you wear pantyhose with keds?"
* "Why do so many men here wear leggings and carry purses?"
* "Why is it the style for men to wear eyeliner at night?"
* "Don't you get tired of rice?"
* "Don't you get tired of kimchi?"
* "Do you enjoy bowing to people?"


I'm sure you would feel like you were attacking them, though, so you probably wouldn't even ask questions like this. It's still basically the same thing - nitpicking at things one deems to be questionable. After 3 years here, I haven't had the feeling that many would hold back, though. I don't understand the double-standard. They're allowed to ask us any dumb thing.

This one seems to get the point across:
* "Would you feel more comfortable if I were exactly like you?"

My wife's dermatologist (of all people) asked me "Isn't Korean skin better than American skin?" This is someone who is supposedly a doctor. What do they really expect us to say? It's a joke.


Last edited by PastorYoon on Fri Apr 22, 2011 6:56 am; edited 1 time in total
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DorkothyParker



Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: Jeju

PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 6:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ergh! I know! The cold question comes up a lot because I am the sort to wear a normal sleeved top year round (not cap-sleeve or even low cut at all!). I mean, inside a building, the temperature should be fairly consistent year round and I wear a coat if I step outside. It is so weird to me a person needs to wear only winter clothes for 3 months and only spring clothes for 3 months, and so on with no overlap. :/

Today a coworker asked me if I was eating food anymore (I am restricting and drinking vitamin-enhanced protein shakes to fill in nutritional gaps). I felt super self-conscious and uncomfortable. It doesn't make me want to hang around at work during lunch if people are going to be eying my plate all the time.
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PastorYoon



Joined: 25 Jun 2010
Location: Sea of Japan

PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 7:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I used to take my lunch at my old school, everyone would basically put their entire face in my plate - so that they could see exactly what food I chose. I would at times literally have to hold my hand out to block their heads so that I could walk to my table. Brutal. Rolling Eyes
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