|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
goat
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
|
 Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 5:00 am Post subject: |
 |
|
| hondaicivic wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Yaya wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Yaya wrote: |
Only I'm not basing my hypothesis on just one post. I've had other non-Korean expat friends (and Korean) who've had horrible marriages and such (though some of the expats were at fault, too).
I think part of the problem could be that Korean women just expect too much from their men, and when that expectation is not met, they can lose it majorly. Of course, the man should make enough money to support the wife and family but in Korea, it seems a guy's future prospects simply trumps everything else, including genuine love and feelings for one's partner. |
That does happen but I would not say its the majority or the norm.
Also, its not just about the woman's expectations...its a two way street my friend. In any marriage it is equally up to the woman and the man to make it work and to be on the lookout for their spouses needs and expectations.
Still, a lot of marriages fail, mixed or other, for many reasons because frankly speaking a long and happy relationship takes work. Many people confuse effort at maintaining and growing a relationship with a sign its not meant to be....thats called the hollywood love syndrome which can be summed up with: real love requires no effort.
This is an interesting discussion anyway. I have been married 13 years now and my Korean wife is not "too demanding" nor does she have "unreasonable expectations". We have our ups and downs but are happy together.
In the vast majority of cases, couples that fail do so with an equal share of responsibility from each spouse. It is exceedingly rare to see responsibility lie with one partner only.... |
Lots of opinion, little stats to back it up.
Anyway, let's not hijack the OP. He just wants to divorce his wife and end his nightmare. |
True but there is one stat out there: roughoy 50% of marriage or long term relationships fail, usually within the first 5 years.
That means 50% work out 
Cheers |
So who's feeling lucky?.... |
It seems you have a problem with marriage and relationships. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Landros
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
|
| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 6:04 am Post subject: Comiserations |
|
|
| or perhaps a gambling addiction. lucky in cards unlucky in bed? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
|
| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 7:56 am Post subject: |
|
|
| hondaicivic wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Yaya wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Yaya wrote: |
Only I'm not basing my hypothesis on just one post. I've had other non-Korean expat friends (and Korean) who've had horrible marriages and such (though some of the expats were at fault, too).
I think part of the problem could be that Korean women just expect too much from their men, and when that expectation is not met, they can lose it majorly. Of course, the man should make enough money to support the wife and family but in Korea, it seems a guy's future prospects simply trumps everything else, including genuine love and feelings for one's partner. |
That does happen but I would not say its the majority or the norm.
Also, its not just about the woman's expectations...its a two way street my friend. In any marriage it is equally up to the woman and the man to make it work and to be on the lookout for their spouses needs and expectations.
Still, a lot of marriages fail, mixed or other, for many reasons because frankly speaking a long and happy relationship takes work. Many people confuse effort at maintaining and growing a relationship with a sign its not meant to be....thats called the hollywood love syndrome which can be summed up with: real love requires no effort.
This is an interesting discussion anyway. I have been married 13 years now and my Korean wife is not "too demanding" nor does she have "unreasonable expectations". We have our ups and downs but are happy together.
In the vast majority of cases, couples that fail do so with an equal share of responsibility from each spouse. It is exceedingly rare to see responsibility lie with one partner only.... |
Lots of opinion, little stats to back it up.
Anyway, let's not hijack the OP. He just wants to divorce his wife and end his nightmare. |
True but there is one stat out there: roughoy 50% of marriage or long term relationships fail, usually within the first 5 years.
That means 50% work out
Cheers |
So who's feeling lucky?.... |
It has nothing to do with luck. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
The Cosmic Hum
Joined: 09 May 2003
Location: Sonic Space
|
| Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 7:11 am Post subject: |
|
|
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| hondaicivic wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Yaya wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Yaya wrote: |
Only I'm not basing my hypothesis on just one post. I've had other non-Korean expat friends (and Korean) who've had horrible marriages and such (though some of the expats were at fault, too).
I think part of the problem could be that Korean women just expect too much from their men, and when that expectation is not met, they can lose it majorly. Of course, the man should make enough money to support the wife and family but in Korea, it seems a guy's future prospects simply trumps everything else, including genuine love and feelings for one's partner. |
That does happen but I would not say its the majority or the norm.
Also, its not just about the woman's expectations...its a two way street my friend. In any marriage it is equally up to the woman and the man to make it work and to be on the lookout for their spouses needs and expectations.
Still, a lot of marriages fail, mixed or other, for many reasons because frankly speaking a long and happy relationship takes work. Many people confuse effort at maintaining and growing a relationship with a sign its not meant to be....thats called the hollywood love syndrome which can be summed up with: real love requires no effort.
This is an interesting discussion anyway. I have been married 13 years now and my Korean wife is not "too demanding" nor does she have "unreasonable expectations". We have our ups and downs but are happy together.
In the vast majority of cases, couples that fail do so with an equal share of responsibility from each spouse. It is exceedingly rare to see responsibility lie with one partner only.... |
Lots of opinion, little stats to back it up.
Anyway, let's not hijack the OP. He just wants to divorce his wife and end his nightmare. |
True but there is one stat out there: roughoy 50% of marriage or long term relationships fail, usually within the first 5 years.
That means 50% work out
Cheers |
So who's feeling lucky?.... |
It has nothing to do with luck. |
It has a lot more to do with luck than most people are willing to admit.
Of course...the harder people work...the luckier they tend to be. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
|
| Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 7:17 am Post subject: |
|
|
| The Cosmic Hum wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| hondaicivic wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Yaya wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Yaya wrote: |
Only I'm not basing my hypothesis on just one post. I've had other non-Korean expat friends (and Korean) who've had horrible marriages and such (though some of the expats were at fault, too).
I think part of the problem could be that Korean women just expect too much from their men, and when that expectation is not met, they can lose it majorly. Of course, the man should make enough money to support the wife and family but in Korea, it seems a guy's future prospects simply trumps everything else, including genuine love and feelings for one's partner. |
That does happen but I would not say its the majority or the norm.
Also, its not just about the woman's expectations...its a two way street my friend. In any marriage it is equally up to the woman and the man to make it work and to be on the lookout for their spouses needs and expectations.
Still, a lot of marriages fail, mixed or other, for many reasons because frankly speaking a long and happy relationship takes work. Many people confuse effort at maintaining and growing a relationship with a sign its not meant to be....thats called the hollywood love syndrome which can be summed up with: real love requires no effort.
This is an interesting discussion anyway. I have been married 13 years now and my Korean wife is not "too demanding" nor does she have "unreasonable expectations". We have our ups and downs but are happy together.
In the vast majority of cases, couples that fail do so with an equal share of responsibility from each spouse. It is exceedingly rare to see responsibility lie with one partner only.... |
Lots of opinion, little stats to back it up.
Anyway, let's not hijack the OP. He just wants to divorce his wife and end his nightmare. |
True but there is one stat out there: roughoy 50% of marriage or long term relationships fail, usually within the first 5 years.
That means 50% work out
Cheers |
So who's feeling lucky?.... |
It has nothing to do with luck. |
It has a lot more to do with luck than most people are willing to admit.
Of course...the harder people work...the luckier they tend to be. |
Which of course means, its got nothing to do with luck! 
Still, we should now stop, as this thread has been sufficiently derailed by us! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
World Traveler
Joined: 29 May 2009
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 12:04 am Post subject: |
|
|
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
Also, its not just about the woman's expectations...its a two way street my friend. In any marriage it is equally up to the woman and the man to make it work and to be on the lookout for their spouses needs and expectations.
|
Regarding the foreign men I know married to Korean women, in many cases, the wife is disappointed the man is not earning enough money, and as a result pushes him to earn more along with restricting his spending. To give a recent example, a guy I knew wanted to buy a bike (that was not that expensive...only about 200,000) but his wife wouldn't let him buy it- or any bike- because she considered such a purchase frivolous. (What the heck?!>_<) So he did what she said. Can you believe it? This guy made fairly decent money too, having the F-visa and all. I guess maybe Korean women sometimes expect Western men to make a lot of money because the West is so wealthy. I read somewhere money is the number one cause of fights and marital discord. So I guess all over the world wives want their husbands to work longer hours to make more money (while not spending much of it on themselves). I guess this should be talked about before marriage to make sure both parties understand the expectations and are on board before taking the plunge.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Edit: Right after I posted this I came across the following while surfing an unrelated site:
| Quote: |
| Studies show that money is the number one problem in marriages and the primary cause of divorce. Merging two lives forces you to scrutinize your spending habits because it’s bound to affect the other, even if you each earn your own income. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 9:08 am Post subject: |
|
|
Or the woman in question may just have an insight into their budget that you don't! She could see other things are more important, like saving for the kids education (if they have kids), paying for an upcoming trip, saving up to buy an apt and so on.
My wife and I manage the family budget and we set goals that guide our spending. That is how we work, others do so differently. We have a family budget that is centralized. We do not consider our family budget as my money or her money, it is just our family budget. As such our paychecks are not something we hoard or loathe to hand over, we just consider them family income...
I have a buddy living in Korea who bascially hands over his paycheck to his Korean wife because he knows he is unable to budget and save and they want to buy an apt. Every couple will have their own dynamics and that will be the result of many things.
So the guy you know could not buy a 200 000W bike because his wife said no. That is all you said so the reason for the refusal could be pretty much anything.
The quote you included is bang on by the way. When you live as a couple (goes triple when you have kids) spending is no longer about YOU because it can affect everyone. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
I'm With You
Joined: 01 Sep 2011
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 3:10 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Ah, so did Swampfox10mm ever get that divorce?
This thread is now is 2 years old. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Died By Bear
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
|
| Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 3:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I'm With You wrote: |
Ah, so did Swampfox10mm ever get that divorce?
This thread is now is 2 years old. |
Translation: Does anyone have pictures of the ex-wife?  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
