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hondaicivic
Joined: 01 Jul 2010
Location: Daegu, South Korea
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 Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 4:18 am Post subject: |
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| earthquakez wrote: |
| barbaricyip wrote: |
Goodness. High number of misogynists on Dave's. Stop the presses. Whodathunkit.
Thank you for the advice, Kuros, ESL_Milk, NYC_Gal, Fox, and anyone else I missed. Mostly I was worried over whether this was subtle venom or benevolent sexism. Glad to hear that the general opinion is that it's the latter.
Things with the supervisor were patched over pretty quick - I said it was probably cultural, gave the example of my hardcore democrat mother and hardcore republican step-father, and we were joking during the rest of the day about other things.
Definitely not planning on outting myself, though the girlfriend and I have previously considered regretfully resigning on account of lesbianism. It's that kind of business.
Thanks again, folks! Well, some of you. |
Barbara - Methdx or whatever their handle is just is a misogynist in desperate denial as well as a shallow narcissist who thinks that his preoccupation with money, more money, women producing children so that big business can get those generations of future consumers to run up debts and keep the money going into their coffers, qualifies as 'normal'. I'm a white (way back Black ancestry on one side but my cultural influences and recent forbears are white), straight Brit male who has welcomed the fact that women in our countries now have more choices to live as they want than at any time in world history.
Sure there are still inequalities but as you've found out, Korea is still deep in the idea that women exist to make life comfortable to men and to rear most importantly male children to carry on the family name per the Confucian custom.
Marriage mainly exists for this, it's a kind of business arrangement for most Koreans over the age of 30 or so (altthough the idea of marrying for a relationship of compatibility is getting heard more), and male promiscuity is fine while of course women are expected to endure their husbands' visits with groups to brothels. That's not saying all Korean men have extra marital sex but it's certainly something that's encouraged and endorsed by the male dominated society.
Male relationships are the most important thing in Korea. Notice how males sit with males while dining etc - a kind of gender apartheid that is fine. That's how they want it. Yet despite all the hand holding of males and the way they dance with each other and want to hang out with each other and don't for the most part see women as friends, Korea is fiercely homophobic as a society. I am sure as a lesbian you see why. I bet it is also not lost on you as to why Korean society is obsessed with women looking skinny with no curves.
I've noticed that the society feels threatened by females who basically don't resemble males in flat chests and flat figures. Homosociality is fine in Korea - homosexuality is not although there is a fair bit of downlow gay behaviour going on re men hanging around toilets and convenience stores etc to pick up other men. Then go home to their wives.
The fact that you find this kind of society and the pronouncement made by the male Korean co worker as odd is nothing at all unusual by non Korean standards.The Koreans can think this is fine all they like - their choice but oddballs like Methdx just sound silly in their denial. |
http://jakeinkorea.wordpress.com/2011/04/30/paper-men-and-the-pocket-money-nation/
^This guy seem to disagree otherwise. You might want to read it. As far as being a male dominated society, it's only true after you reach the age 50. |
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goat
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
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| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 4:41 am Post subject: |
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| Korea is a male dominated society; of males under, at and past the age of 50. Sheeeesh! |
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hondaicivic
Joined: 01 Jul 2010
Location: Daegu, South Korea
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| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 4:49 am Post subject: |
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| goat wrote: |
| Korea is a male dominated society; of males under, at and past the age of 50. Sheeeesh! |
Tell me why the husbands have to hand over 100% of their salary to their wives and they only get pocket money in return? The guys are basically *beep* whipped before and after they get married by their mom and eventually future wife. The women wear the pants in the family and absolutely control all the finances. That's a fact. |
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wooden nickels
Joined: 23 May 2010
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| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 4:54 am Post subject: |
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| hondaicivic wrote: |
| goat wrote: |
| Korea is a male dominated society; of males under, at and past the age of 50. Sheeeesh! |
Tell me why the husbands have to hand over 100% of their salary to their wives and they only get pocket money in return? The guys are basically *beep* whipped before and after they get married by their mom and eventually future wife. The women wear the pants in the family and absolutely control all the finances. That's a fact. |
How long have you been in Korea? Less than a year? |
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hondaicivic
Joined: 01 Jul 2010
Location: Daegu, South Korea
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| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 5:02 am Post subject: |
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| wooden nickels wrote: |
| hondaicivic wrote: |
| goat wrote: |
| Korea is a male dominated society; of males under, at and past the age of 50. Sheeeesh! |
Tell me why the husbands have to hand over 100% of their salary to their wives and they only get pocket money in return? The guys are basically *beep* whipped before and after they get married by their mom and eventually future wife. The women wear the pants in the family and absolutely control all the finances. That's a fact. |
How long have you been in Korea? Less than a year? |
Does it really matter? |
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wooden nickels
Joined: 23 May 2010
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| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 5:23 am Post subject: |
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| hondaicivic wrote: |
| wooden nickels wrote: |
| hondaicivic wrote: |
| goat wrote: |
| Korea is a male dominated society; of males under, at and past the age of 50. Sheeeesh! |
Tell me why the husbands have to hand over 100% of their salary to their wives and they only get pocket money in return? The guys are basically *beep* whipped before and after they get married by their mom and eventually future wife. The women wear the pants in the family and absolutely control all the finances. That's a fact. |
How long have you been in Korea? Less than a year? |
Does it really matter? |
Yes. |
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Konitsu
Joined: 28 Apr 2010
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| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 7:11 am Post subject: |
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Some of the people in this thread make me feel like we're in an alternate dimension.
Or like I'm really super drunk. |
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Slowmotion
Joined: 15 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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The older ajushi's still wear the pants in the relationship.
However the more recent married 'males' are the same guys that you would see on the streets carrying their girlfriends handbag and getting yelled at in public looking like they're going to pee in their pants. Times have changed. |
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eamo
Joined: 08 Mar 2003
Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.
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| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 5:45 pm Post subject: |
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I think it just varies from couple to couple......some men are weak with their wives. Others aren't. Some wives are timid and like the husband to take charge in some areas of life.
My wife manages our finances because it simply makes sense that she does. We live in Korea and my Korean skillz suck. All the bank loan, housing contracts, car payments stuff is way beyond my Korean ability. Also, she's an accountant by trade and really manages our money well.
Anyway, women are often better at managing the family finances. Men can be really dumb with money.
It depends. Most couples work out early on who's better at managing money.
It has nothing to do with who wears the pants!! |
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barbaricyip
Joined: 30 Apr 2010
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| Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 9:48 am Post subject: |
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| oldtrafford wrote: |
Firstly you sound like a bra burner, a feminist I think is the political crap word. Thankfully Korea won't bend to your delusional mindset.
Secondly, if you're so career minded then why the hell are you working in a poky hogwon in Korea, making a couple of million and living in a shoe box!!
By heck I sure as hell hope I don't meet you at the bar  |
I don't even know where to begin with this comment. It blows my mind on so many levels.
OH GOD. DON'T SAY THE F-WORD. SHHH. Someone will hear and then she will be all insufferable and self-confident!
Also, is it impossible to be both interested in a career and naive? I guess that means I'm incapable of ever learning from my mistakes! HA. That must be what I need a man for.
Finally, what part of Incognito Girlfriend did you not read and/or comprehend? Do you really teach English? Is that what you do? Furthermore, does it not occur to you that I might actually be more disturbed by you than you are by me? The feeling is more than mutual. |
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Died By Bear
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
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| Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 7:05 am Post subject: |
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| eamo wrote: |
I think it just varies from couple to couple......some men are weak with their wives. ....
It has nothing to do with who wears the pants!! |
"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
--Kahlil Gibran The Prophet (from the first chapter: "The Coming of The Ship")
Joking you i am |
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