Korean Job Discussion Forums

[vpadilla]

It's only been two days for me. I don't know what to expect. I think there would be a lot less anxiety if I didn't have someone I love back at home. How are others expatirates dealing with it? Especially when they were awesome and and said "go live your life?".
I just read the "I hate Korea days" and it scared me. I like it so far, but it has been two days. I think It's a mindset, and I am determined to mature and grow from the experience. Save money too.
Anyhow, does anyone else have a partner they are missing?

[RMNC]

Plenty of fish, man, plenty of fish.

[nero]

[hondaicivic]

[vpadilla]

[thegadfly]

[cert43]

Yeah, people have certain subjective "needs"..sorry, but don't know what to tell you to do..depending on the type of need; there are some ideas:

1)Buy a Toy
2) Get a dog
3)Make some friends
4) Pray and wait (not a long-term solution)
5) Move and try to increase your chances

[sallymonster]

I don't have any romantic attachments back in my home country. But the teacher I replaced left her boyfriend in their home country and couldn't deal with the distance, so she quit after 3 months. And that's how I got my current job

Speaking from personal experience, long distance relationships rarely work out, especially if you haven't been going out for very long. All 3 of my relationships were long-distance at some point (the joys of college life), and it was very difficult each time. The long distance was a huge factor in the failure of 2 of the 3 relationships (in the other relationship, we only lived far apart for a 1-3 months at a time, and only 3 times). It's just so easy to grow apart, and not so easy to stay faithful.

That being said, I've known a few (and I do mean few) couples that managed to live far apart for a significant period of time, and their relationships survived and they ended up living in the same place happily ever after. So you and your boo just might beat the odds, especially if you've been together for a long time. I strongly suggest having regular Skype dates.

Good luck!

[loose_ends]

When I moved to Korea I had a gf back home. The distance was too much. 3 months into it we broke up. I was heart broken but determined to finish a year in Korea so I stayed even though I hated it. There are lots of fish in Korea, and I had my share and then some. It was a roller coaster of a year. I went back after my contract was up and I got back together with her briefly. It wasn't the same, or should I say, I wasn't the same. Reverse culture shock is tough. 3 months later I went back to Korea and stayed for 4 years. I almost got married here, but managed to dodge the bullet on my final return back home. When I arrived we got back together for a third time and it lasted for a year.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, the distance will be hard and could quite possibly kill the relationship. One upside of that is that there are lots of fish in Korea and that can be fun. Also, she will still be there when you get back and you never know what could happen.

[vpadilla]

I took a walk today. As I walked and listened to music, I felt much better. I trust my intuition, and my intuition tells me to enjoy my adventure. I remembered a reason I came is to make sure I am never codependent. Thanks for the advice, all.

[fermentation]

I left a girl back in the States and eventually ended it. I got into another relationship before being conscripted and we decided to stick it out til the end. Both experiences taught me that long-distance relationships are hard. But the only thing you can do is 1. endure it, 2. move on, or 3. go back. Personally I would go with option 2 if I were you. If she/he is really that special you shouldn't have left in the first place.

[u571]

My significant other and I decided to break up before I came out here because we'd both dealt with a long distance relationship before and didn't like it. I left because, while my significant other still had some school left, I graduated, needed a job, and had an opportunity to go on an adventure.

Despite the distance and break-up we talked everyday. We still liked one another and had an understanding that we were single but didn't really want to be with other people and would get back together when I was done and my significant other graduated.

We decided to get back together since thats what we were basically already doing. Things got really rough as neither of us were really respecting the relationship (ie doing things that we wouldn't have been doing had the other person been with us) and communication was lacking. I got frustrated, got drunk and cheated.

I heartbreakingly repented to my significant other what I had done expecting for things to be over for good. Surprisingly, my significant other showed an enormous amount of grace and forgave me for what I had done.

We decided to start giving our relationship more attention meeting at least 2 hours daily to talk on the phone and gchatting virtually every opportunity we have while we are both awake on our respective sides of the world.

Since the cheating episode, I've been counting down my days till I leave. But I am not letting that control my life. The important thing to do is have patience. Like thegadfly said, 1 year seems like a long time for a 23 yr old, but what is one year in your life when you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with your significant other?

[whitestboyalive]

When you move away from someone to pursue anything else in life, no matter how much the person supported you, it says something to them whether the both of you like it or not. I'm afraid to tell you that if you do not go back to this person, your relationship is over. You've got a choice to make.

[Hokie21]

You're already this torn up after being in Korean for only 2 days? Not good. More often than not long term relationships do not work. Good luck but I don't see a positive result from this, either you'll break up or you'll try to tough it out and be miserable.

[cragesmure]

Either
A. Grow up and get over it, or
B. Go home, but certainly,
C. Don't look for important life advice on a public forum. It makes you look pathetic and impotent, not to mention the fact that it's a banal pursuit.