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RMNC
Joined: 21 Jul 2010
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 Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 4:05 am Post subject: |
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| Carbon wrote: |
| ESL Milk "Everyday wrote: |
| Stop ranting online and start ranting to his face. |
Wow...more sage advice...more and more impressed with your maturity and level-headed approach to life in Korea. |
Well, doing nothing doesn't work...
Being nice and asking to stop doesn't work...
Ergo? |
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cert43
Joined: 17 Jun 2010
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| Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 4:31 am Post subject: |
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Well, after reading through this entire post twice; it would appear that good suggestive advice is needed..
1st - You need to quit being so defensive
2nd - I don't know of your gender or age, but sooner or later natural
instic is going to kick in..
3rd- Do you want the relationship? This is pretty much black and white.
( you want it or your don't)
Take a look at real feelings ( as much as you think they aren't, they are there, you just have to find them).If you REALLY don't "feel", then you need to make that clear ( I noticed you said you didn't do anything to lead him on), but for some reason that is not believable AT ALL and maybe it wasn't full "intent"..but he obvously got the sexual idea from somewhere ( specific ideas just don't "pop up" outta nowhere).
YOU did something. Just think
Try this and then get back to us. |
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Boodleheimer
Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Location: working undercover for the Man
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| Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 5:33 am Post subject: |
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| truth be told, they won't take it seriously. this is you and him. that's all, unless you somehow make things public. these are the rules, unfortunately. |
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NYC_Gal 2.0
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 7:22 am Post subject: |
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| cert43 wrote: |
Well, after reading through this entire post twice; it would appear that good suggestive advice is needed..
1st - You need to quit being so defensive
2nd - I don't know of your gender or age, but sooner or later natural
instic is going to kick in..
3rd- Do you want the relationship? This is pretty much black and white.
( you want it or your don't)
Take a look at real feelings ( as much as you think they aren't, they are there, you just have to find them).If you REALLY don't "feel", then you need to make that clear ( I noticed you said you didn't do anything to lead him on), but for some reason that is not believable AT ALL and maybe it wasn't full "intent"..but he obvously got the sexual idea from somewhere ( specific ideas just don't "pop up" outta nowhere).
YOU did something. Just think
Try this and then get back to us. |
Proof that you ARE a Korean native male!!! |
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barbaricyip
Joined: 30 Apr 2010
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| Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 7:34 am Post subject: |
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| cert43 wrote: |
Well, after reading through this entire post twice; it would appear that good suggestive advice is needed..
1st - You need to quit being so defensive
2nd - I don't know of your gender or age, but sooner or later natural
instic is going to kick in..
3rd- Do you want the relationship? This is pretty much black and white.
( you want it or your don't)
Take a look at real feelings ( as much as you think they aren't, they are there, you just have to find them).If you REALLY don't "feel", then you need to make that clear ( I noticed you said you didn't do anything to lead him on), but for some reason that is not believable AT ALL and maybe it wasn't full "intent"..but he obvously got the sexual idea from somewhere ( specific ideas just don't "pop up" outta nowhere).
YOU did something. Just think
Try this and then get back to us. |
Ooooh, victim blaming! Nice. |
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cert43
Joined: 17 Jun 2010
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| Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 7:40 am Post subject: |
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No,but that is what the media has protrayed.
It's not gonna be a matter of 'believe";convincing the "real" factors( both good and bad) |
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sing81
Joined: 09 Apr 2011
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 10:36 pm Post subject: |
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With 2 weeks left, why worry about it at all?
If you are really worried, do the opposite of what you would do if you were at home. Encourage him! Seem really interested like you're on the verge of orgasmic combustion.  Turn the tables around. Pursue him.
He'll probably get scared and run away. Asia is no Europe. Most Korean men are afraid of foreign women. I seriously doubt he will continue to make advances. If I am wrong, who cares it'll be over with in 2 weeks. |
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Carbon
Joined: 28 Jan 2011
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| Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 11:18 pm Post subject: |
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| RMNC wrote: |
| Carbon wrote: |
| ESL Milk "Everyday wrote: |
| Stop ranting online and start ranting to his face. |
Wow...more sage advice...more and more impressed with your maturity and level-headed approach to life in Korea. |
Well, doing nothing doesn't work...
Being nice and asking to stop doesn't work...
Ergo? |
Ergo what? The OP has made it clear to anyone at her workplace that has ears what happened and that she is upset. What else does she want? 2 weeks left....she said her piece, now call the cops or get over it. The end. |
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cert43
Joined: 17 Jun 2010
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| Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 2:43 pm Post subject: |
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No, DON'T encourge him..( very very bad advice, BTW).He WILL NOT run away ( can guarentee you that) and chances are if you are badly wanting it; he already knows it to the tee ( otherwise he wouldn't keep on).Are you sure he doesn't already have a experienced gf and is just trying to have some cake and eat it too with the less experienced one? I think so..and why buy the milk when you can have the cow for free?
If you need something that bad, just go to Konuk U Station (exit 2)..he can't do anything once you become really comfortable with that UNTILL you can get outta this mess.
You don't "need" someone like that. |
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Illysook
Joined: 30 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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This guy is married and has a family. He should not be bothering me at all. However, he got drunk and called me wanting to come over to my apartment at 2 a.m. This happened twice. Then there were the apologies which were not really apologies, just lists of excuses and a request to go out with me.
This morning, I had to listen to more apologies. He seemed very serious but when he said that his invitation to to go out was part of his apology and that he meant to have me over to his apartment to meet his wife and family, I'm not sure that I believed him. If you were a Korean man who managed to drunk dial the female NET at your school at 2 a.m. would you tell your wife what you did, and do you think that she would be willing to cook dinner for the woman?
Yeah, I didn't think so either. |
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cert43
Joined: 17 Jun 2010
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| Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 6:56 pm Post subject: |
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Well, that was nice he invited you, but can see why you don't wanna go over there..It is just a pattern of behavior and you know he wants the sex,so that makes it all the more harder..and if he just trying to be "polite" to the foreign teacher then he sure has a funny way of showing it. :sho
Is he denying it to the principal?.maybe it's just a "recoccuring Native Teacher" fetish or something so he'll just bother your replacement for the next year and then she'll do something.
If your principal is unwilling to help you, then you should just leave now( I hope your not renewing at that school)..Would also inform the police of the harrassing phone calls ,as well..
AND lastly, lock your doors PLEASE as it would be very very easy for him to find your apt |
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lille
Joined: 27 Jan 2009
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 9:02 pm Post subject: |
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| cert43 wrote: |
Well, after reading through this entire post twice; it would appear that good suggestive advice is needed..
1st - You need to quit being so defensive
2nd - I don't know of your gender or age, but sooner or later natural
instic is going to kick in..
3rd- Do you want the relationship? This is pretty much black and white.
( you want it or your don't)
Take a look at real feelings ( as much as you think they aren't, they are there, you just have to find them).If you REALLY don't "feel", then you need to make that clear ( I noticed you said you didn't do anything to lead him on), but for some reason that is not believable AT ALL and maybe it wasn't full "intent"..but he obvously got the sexual idea from somewhere ( specific ideas just don't "pop up" outta nowhere).
YOU did something. Just think
Try this and then get back to us. |
Hey, Cert: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_blaming
If you haven't noticed, women are raised to be 'too nice'. If we're assertive, we're called (w)itches and told, "Lighten up, get a sense of humour, it was just a joke/I was just being nice/etc".
Oftentimes, this conditioning to always be nice manifests itself in some confusing body language. When we're uncomfortable, for example, we laugh and wince into fake smiles, sometimes look away. This can, if you're not looking closely enough, be confused for coyness, but once you know what to look for it's easy to tell when a woman's being made uncomfortable by someone. Take a closer look next time a guy's being a pushy loser around a girl and you'll see it. |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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So he drunk dialed you and now is apologizing for it.
The issue seems to be more about you not wanting the apology than the actual first offense. |
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Illysook
Joined: 30 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 12:18 am Post subject: |
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A married man drunk dialed me repeatedly.
His apologies were riddled with excuses. and even an invitation to "go out with me" mentioning nothing about his wife or family.
In his final apology, he "explained" that he meant to have me over to his apartment for a home cooked dinner with his wife and children so that we could be friends and so that I would not be homesick. This was another crazy excuse. However, he also asked for my forgiveness and I gave it to him. I hope that he will not bother me anymore.
8 more teaching days! |
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ZIFA
Joined: 23 Feb 2011
Location: Dici che il fiume..Trova la via al mare
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| Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 1:15 am Post subject: |
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| cert43 wrote: |
chances are if you are badly wanting it; he already knows it to the tee
If you need something that bad, just go to Konuk U Station (exit 2).. |
What on earth are you referring to? cocaine? |
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