Korean Job Discussion Forums

[korian]

when you know that the majority, if not all of the people you meet in korea and elsewhere in this nomdic existence will be essentially lost to us forever? i am actually back in oz now contemplating a return for the 3rd time. yet i can't help but worry that the friends i have there now who give me the scoop and urge me to return will no doubt be on their own way again.

in fact, my best mate has already told me he'll be leaving six months into my next contract if i do in fact return.

most of the guys and girls i hung out with in my first 2.5 years there are now once in a blue moon e-mail pals and i'm sure it's the same for most of us in this profession.

how do you deal with meeting so many good people and a tthe same time knowing you'll say goodbye to them pretty soon. it's hard to put a lot into the friendships for me....

[rawiri]

just another one of lifes many sad facts really, move on, get over it, i use to think that i couldnt meet more people than i already had and that i couldnt make more friends than i already had, that was when i was living in a smallish town back home.

3 years constant travelling has proved otherwise, there are always more folk to meet, whether you connect or not is another thing but the possibilities essentially are endless.

are you lonely?, join a club or start hanging out in bars, things naturally evolve..................

[Ya-ta Boy]

I think I know what you mean. I noticed it after teaching high school for a while. You put so much effort and caring into a relationship, and then they move on....

I think there is a real danger in people taking the attitude that "I already have friends. I don't need anymore." Or, "I'm tired of people moving away. I will stop making friends."

It's a fairly cold world out there and we can choose to isolate ourselves and make it even colder, or we can remain open to friendships by deciding that someone moving on is not a personal rejection.

[korian]

[quote]are you lonely?, join a club or start hanging out in bars, things naturally evolve..................

just the opposite actually. i find it easy to make a lotof freinds but it gets tiring saying goodbye all the time.

[Derrek]

Yeah, it sux.

[Crois]

Partly the cause of my depression.

[Mr. Pink]

[kangnamdragon]

[phaedrus]

[korian]

[phaedrus]

Actually I hear you.

I was in a different mood in the afternoon, and now I am feeling isolated.

I wish I was back with my good old friends in Canada that I loved and could do crazy stuff with. I guess I have withdrawn here, and don't feel I have that genuine friendship, because they all move away. I changed cities after I got married, and left my foreigner friends, who then left Korea, and I haven't made new ones.

[rapier]

I've been travelling place to place for years ...I don't think there's anyone in the world who's known me longer than 3 years.
yeah, it gets frustrating not to be with people who understand you completely and fully. Always meeting new people and going through the same hurdles with them...and no history to share..

i'm philosophical in this way..i know that ultimately, we are all alone; we came into the world alone and will depart the same way. Friends are just temporary attachments.
get to know God. the infinite. the permanent. yourself, your spirit. i can hear you all cringeing at that statement. But, its true...

[korian]

ah so we now move on to the philosophical debate. the existentialist dilemma. in truth i find it easier to wax philosophical when you're happy with your surroundings. it's easier to be in tune with yourself. but in korea i don't feel that kind of comfort.

the day to day battle seems to take the enjoyment out of exploring yourself.

i think without realising it korea does make us withdrawn to a certain extent. for some that's fine. for others it can be dangerous, coz it's not the best place to alleviate such occerrences.

and the origianl point of the post suggests that it will be an ongoing thing for us to internalise and not put ourselves out there as long as we live the life of an expat in korea.

like you rapier i have travelled a lot in recent years. even now back in oz i'm living in a new area and already planni my 3rd tour of korea. but what i find now is i don't seem to even ,make the initial effort of making friends. just hope i run into ones i already have.

and that can't be good.....

[whitebeagle]

I'm back in oz too and will be going back to korea in 2 weeks time.

After being away from home for 2 years, it actually feels like I have more friends in Korea than here! Everybody's doing their own thing here, all settling down, but people I've met in korea are more like myself, into travelling and learning about different cultures.

I've had to say goodbye to the boyfriend I had in Korea because he went back to his country, as well as some others i've become good friends with. But it seems like there'll always be friends wherever you go, although it's nice to have a circle of friends you've known for ages and can depend on. It's nice to know that my friends in oz still consider me as an important friend, and 2 years away hasn't made a difference to our friendship.

[korian]

you're right that friends you originally left move on. i will always be good mates with guys and gals i grew up with but they have their own lives now.

like everything single thing realted to korea, your emotions on issues fluctuate hugely. sometimes i love my life there free to flit about with whoever whenever. yet at other times i yearn the deep freindships we may have had before wangerlust kicked in.

and it's those kind of freindships that are hard to find, and harder still to keep, when you live the expat life in any country. but paeticulalry korea as not many people last more than 2 years on the trot.