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kimiki
Joined: 19 Dec 2008 Location: south korea
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:12 pm Post subject: crisis counseling for koreans, in korean? |
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A close friend of mine who is Korean recently told me she's quite suicidal. I believe she's open to getting counseling-- but because of some family issues is very very concerned about confidentiality. I'd like to help her find some online counseling or therapy in Korean. Does anyone know of such a service? There is such a massive mental health crisis in this country I honestly hope there are services in place for such a case. It seems like every 6 months or so a student will tell me that someone died in his/her apt building, found hanging by a rope by a neighbor or something. Most recently it was a husband and wife found together, according to one class.
Thank you in advance, everyone. |
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akcrono
Joined: 11 Mar 2010
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 8:13 pm Post subject: |
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The main reason for the crisis in Korea is the stigma placed on anyone pursuing any kind of mental health services. Having something as trivial as ADHD is apparently a huge deal that the family will be shamed over. Until Korea starts treating mental illness as a legitimate medical concern, the suicide rate will continue to go unchecked.
OP, I will ask my girlfriend when I get home if she knows anything about it, but I'm not optimistic. My heart goes out to your friend; it's a horrible situation to be in. |
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kimiki
Joined: 19 Dec 2008 Location: south korea
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Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 3:27 pm Post subject: |
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akcrono wrote: |
The main reason for the crisis in Korea is the stigma placed on anyone pursuing any kind of mental health services. Having something as trivial as ADHD is apparently a huge deal that the family will be shamed over. Until Korea starts treating mental illness as a legitimate medical concern, the suicide rate will continue to go unchecked.
OP, I will ask my girlfriend when I get home if she knows anything about it, but I'm not optimistic. My heart goes out to your friend; it's a horrible situation to be in. |
Appreciate your reply. Do let me know if your girlfriend has any info. It is a horrible situation indeed. Really glad she confided in me, though. And she told me that she'd never feel comfortable telling another Korean about it. Countless people here must be suffering in shame and in silence.
At least Korea endorsed the recent UN resolution affirming gay rights, though! That gave me some hope for this country. |
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akcrono
Joined: 11 Mar 2010
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Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 8:22 pm Post subject: |
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kimiki wrote: |
akcrono wrote: |
The main reason for the crisis in Korea is the stigma placed on anyone pursuing any kind of mental health services. Having something as trivial as ADHD is apparently a huge deal that the family will be shamed over. Until Korea starts treating mental illness as a legitimate medical concern, the suicide rate will continue to go unchecked.
OP, I will ask my girlfriend when I get home if she knows anything about it, but I'm not optimistic. My heart goes out to your friend; it's a horrible situation to be in. |
Appreciate your reply. Do let me know if your girlfriend has any info. It is a horrible situation indeed. Really glad she confided in me, though. And she told me that she'd never feel comfortable telling another Korean about it. Countless people here must be suffering in shame and in silence.
At least Korea endorsed the recent UN resolution affirming gay rights, though! That gave me some hope for this country. |
She said she knows of a service, but we got sidetracked over the weekend. Hopefully she has time at work to respond to my text. |
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akcrono
Joined: 11 Mar 2010
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Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 5:45 am Post subject: |
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02-1577-0199
Good luck to both of you. |
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Bruce W Sims
Joined: 08 Mar 2011 Location: Illinois; USA
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Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 6:28 am Post subject: Re: crisis counseling for koreans, in korean? |
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kimiki wrote: |
A close friend of mine who is Korean recently told me she's quite suicidal. I believe she's open to getting counseling-- but because of some family issues is very very concerned about confidentiality. I'd like to help her find some online counseling or therapy in Korean. Does anyone know of such a service? There is such a massive mental health crisis in this country I honestly hope there are services in place for such a case. It seems like every 6 months or so a student will tell me that someone died in his/her apt building, found hanging by a rope by a neighbor or something. Most recently it was a husband and wife found together, according to one class.
Thank you in advance, everyone. |
You are in a position to do a great deal of good if you keep yourself grounded. Helping people who are in crisis can easily sweep an outsider away to a flurry of impulsive and emotional choices. When all else seems overwhelming, take a couple of thoughtful breathes before you speak.
Despite the high-toned talk here in the US, seeking help with emotional or pschological issues carries a great stigma; they just pretend its not so. I'm not at all surprised to hear of how things are in Korea. Therefore, you can be a huge help simply through your obvious acceptance of the situation. You don't have to come up with solutions and most people in crisis, at their core, don't want another person to tell them what to do. Being a sounding board lets the person in crisis know that they are not alone.
Crisises tend to be transitional as are mood swings, depression, anxiety and all the other bits that Human beings are heir to. Diet, medication, change of weather, transitions in relationships and cultural circumstances can all precipitate unfortunate periods. Concern needs to be directly related to the frquency and severity of the crisis.
So much for some general thoughts. There are also a couple of bits to consider about the nature of suicide.
a.) The act of suicide tends to be a solitary event, so its often preceeded by a pattern of increasing isolation. This can include increased absenteeism from activities and events, reduced interaction with family and friends and discarding of clothing and possessions.
b.) The act of suicide tends to impulsive--- in its immediate sense. What this means is that before a person does the act, they have rehearsed it in their mind, mentioned it in passing, compared methods and plans and gathered resources.
c.) Before the act of suicide takes place it is very common for a person to "rehearse" their act. Such occurences as a high-risk life style, a pattern of risky or "thrill-seeking" behaviors and problem-solving centered on self-destruction (IE. "Maybe I'd just be better-off dead") can all be possible calls for help.
One last thought. I mentioned above that "acceptance" of the individual's crisis can be pivotal. "Cheer-up; its not that bad" does not qualify. You would be astounded at how much good can be done just by letting the person know that when they are talking, you are really listening. FWIW.
Best Wishes,
Bruce |
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akcrono
Joined: 11 Mar 2010
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Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:30 am Post subject: Re: crisis counseling for koreans, in korean? |
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Bruce W Sims wrote: |
kimiki wrote: |
A close friend of mine who is Korean recently told me she's quite suicidal. I believe she's open to getting counseling-- but because of some family issues is very very concerned about confidentiality. I'd like to help her find some online counseling or therapy in Korean. Does anyone know of such a service? There is such a massive mental health crisis in this country I honestly hope there are services in place for such a case. It seems like every 6 months or so a student will tell me that someone died in his/her apt building, found hanging by a rope by a neighbor or something. Most recently it was a husband and wife found together, according to one class.
Thank you in advance, everyone. |
You are in a position to do a great deal of good if you keep yourself grounded. Helping people who are in crisis can easily sweep an outsider away to a flurry of impulsive and emotional choices. When all else seems overwhelming, take a couple of thoughtful breathes before you speak.
Despite the high-toned talk here in the US, seeking help with emotional or pschological issues carries a great stigma; they just pretend its not so. I'm not at all surprised to hear of how things are in Korea. Therefore, you can be a huge help simply through your obvious acceptance of the situation. You don't have to come up with solutions and most people in crisis, at their core, don't want another person to tell them what to do. Being a sounding board lets the person in crisis know that they are not alone.
Crisises tend to be transitional as are mood swings, depression, anxiety and all the other bits that Human beings are heir to. Diet, medication, change of weather, transitions in relationships and cultural circumstances can all precipitate unfortunate periods. Concern needs to be directly related to the frquency and severity of the crisis.
So much for some general thoughts. There are also a couple of bits to consider about the nature of suicide.
a.) The act of suicide tends to be a solitary event, so its often preceeded by a pattern of increasing isolation. This can include increased absenteeism from activities and events, reduced interaction with family and friends and discarding of clothing and possessions.
b.) The act of suicide tends to impulsive--- in its immediate sense. What this means is that before a person does the act, they have rehearsed it in their mind, mentioned it in passing, compared methods and plans and gathered resources.
c.) Before the act of suicide takes place it is very common for a person to "rehearse" their act. Such occurences as a high-risk life style, a pattern of risky or "thrill-seeking" behaviors and problem-solving centered on self-destruction (IE. "Maybe I'd just be better-off dead") can all be possible calls for help.
One last thought. I mentioned above that "acceptance" of the individual's crisis can be pivotal. "Cheer-up; its not that bad" does not qualify. You would be astounded at how much good can be done just by letting the person know that when they are talking, you are really listening. FWIW.
Best Wishes,
Bruce |
As someone who had a suicidal mother as well as a degree in psychology working on a masters in counseling, I strongly disagree withe the bolded statement. I feel that while some may see it that way, most people understand an need for help when something is wrong; be it either a chemical or situational problem.
That being said, everything else is spot on. Don't make things worse with anything that could isolate her. Don't pretend to understand what she's going through. Let her know how sad everyone would be if she passed, but more importantly, be a support for her to rely on. Simply providing her with a link could be all she needs to pull through. Sometimes just being there to listen is enough. Don't treat her weird, just let her know that you're there for her. |
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kimiki
Joined: 19 Dec 2008 Location: south korea
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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akcrono wrote: |
02-1577-0199
Good luck to both of you. |
thanks for remembering to touch base about it, akcrono. i will pass that # on to her. |
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kimiki
Joined: 19 Dec 2008 Location: south korea
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:43 pm Post subject: Re: crisis counseling for koreans, in korean? |
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Bruce W Sims wrote: |
You are in a position to do a great deal of good if you keep yourself grounded. Helping people who are in crisis can easily sweep an outsider away to a flurry of impulsive and emotional choices. When all else seems overwhelming, take a couple of thoughtful breathes before you speak.
Despite the high-toned talk here in the US, seeking help with emotional or pschological issues carries a great stigma; they just pretend its not so. I'm not at all surprised to hear of how things are in Korea. Therefore, you can be a huge help simply through your obvious acceptance of the situation. You don't have to come up with solutions and most people in crisis, at their core, don't want another person to tell them what to do. Being a sounding board lets the person in crisis know that they are not alone.
Crisises tend to be transitional as are mood swings, depression, anxiety and all the other bits that Human beings are heir to. Diet, medication, change of weather, transitions in relationships and cultural circumstances can all precipitate unfortunate periods. Concern needs to be directly related to the frquency and severity of the crisis.
So much for some general thoughts. There are also a couple of bits to consider about the nature of suicide.
a.) The act of suicide tends to be a solitary event, so its often preceeded by a pattern of increasing isolation. This can include increased absenteeism from activities and events, reduced interaction with family and friends and discarding of clothing and possessions.
b.) The act of suicide tends to impulsive--- in its immediate sense. What this means is that before a person does the act, they have rehearsed it in their mind, mentioned it in passing, compared methods and plans and gathered resources.
c.) Before the act of suicide takes place it is very common for a person to "rehearse" their act. Such occurences as a high-risk life style, a pattern of risky or "thrill-seeking" behaviors and problem-solving centered on self-destruction (IE. "Maybe I'd just be better-off dead") can all be possible calls for help.
One last thought. I mentioned above that "acceptance" of the individual's crisis can be pivotal. "Cheer-up; its not that bad" does not qualify. You would be astounded at how much good can be done just by letting the person know that when they are talking, you are really listening. FWIW.
Best Wishes,
Bruce |
wow-- very informative. gotta read it over again, a lot of good stuff there. your time & input is appreciated!
Last edited by kimiki on Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:52 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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kimiki
Joined: 19 Dec 2008 Location: south korea
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:52 pm Post subject: Re: crisis counseling for koreans, in korean? |
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akcrono wrote: |
Simply providing her with a link could be all she needs to pull through. Sometimes just being there to listen is enough. Don't treat her weird, just let her know that you're there for her. |
Good advice, too, and I agree. Unfortunately from my perspective she can be kind of abusive and certainly unreliable. Difficult to be around. Though I feel her longing for company, and I usually like chilling with her quite a bit when it's a good day. Anyway, now I have a lot more understanding of what's going on under the surface, so it's easier for me to tolerate her occasional unpleasantness.
Hope your mom is okay : ) |
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Bruce W Sims
Joined: 08 Mar 2011 Location: Illinois; USA
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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I also hope you know that you don't have to deal with this by yourself. Best to have someone there that you can talk to for yourself. Absent that, though I am a half-world away, I hope you know you can PM me if things get to be a little dark. A little something to keep in your back-pocket, just in case, ya know?
Best Wishes,
Bruce |
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Harpeau
Joined: 01 Feb 2003 Location: Coquitlam, BC
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:09 pm Post subject: |
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www.harpo.ca
Under resources, check out Dr. Steve Shim. He's a very good billingual counselor. There are other female ones listed as well. Best of luck to you. |
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