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myenglishisno
Joined: 08 Mar 2011
Location: Geumchon
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 Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:11 am Post subject: Dating non-Korean girls in Korea |
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What's the deal with it?
Bear with me while I rant.
I pointed out in another thread the reasons why I'm not into Korean girls. I've been down that road before and it didn't end well. I came to the conclusion that when you date a Korean girl you're taking a huge risk. I was a "nice guy" when I came here and I the girl dated took advantage of me because I was naive and didn't know anything. I stopped being a nice guy, have been here for awhile and am significantly more weathered than I was when I came. Guess what? I can't even get past the first date with Korean girls now.
Not just that, I don't even really want to. I always get the feeling that they're lying about some things and keeping other things secret. They're always so closed off. Honesty and openness are two very important things to me and they seem to be in very short supply within Korean culture.
Anyway, enough of that. Let's just say I don't go for Korean girls but I do however, date foreign girls.
I find it funny that foreign girls on the boards complain about how hard it is to find decent Western guys here. It's a two way street.
I keep meeting the same types of foreign girls:
1. In a long term relationship (they came to Korea with their partner).
2. Not interested in any kind of relationship.
3. Only interested in Korean men (this is becoming more and more common).
and
4. Only date servicemen.
I'm a normal guy, not bad looking and more well rounded than a lot of the other people I meet here. I've been single for three years. I've been on a handful of dates in that time and always with people I don't find remotely interesting. I tried being really social and going out to meet people in activity clubs and things like that, but all the girls have fallen squarely into the categories above.
I don't drink or go to clubs and don't really go for girls who are really into that.
It's not that it's hard for me to get dates, I just never meet girls I want to date and when I do, they're not on the market for the above reasons.
Anyone else have this problem? Should I just accept being single for the rest of my time in Korea?
Also, being in one's late 20s sucks. I don't even know any single people here or back home. I really don't.
Last edited by myenglishisno on Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:26 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:17 am Post subject: |
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| Dude, why not write a nice post that asks any single women who are into XYZ to PM you and see if after some online conversation a coffee date would be mutually agreeable? It seems there are surely some nice single women on Dave's. (Sorry, I'm neither nice nor single) |
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myenglishisno
Joined: 08 Mar 2011
Location: Geumchon
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:20 am Post subject: |
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| Cedar wrote: |
| Dude, why not write a nice post that asks any single women who are into XYZ to PM you and see if after some online conversation a coffee date would be mutually agreeable? It seems there are surely some nice single women on Dave's. (Sorry, I'm neither nice nor single) |
It's a nice idea in theory but I don't think a singles ad would go over too well on Dave's, haha. I did try dating websites and get a ton of hits on there but only from people who speak two words of English going solely on my picture. They never say anything about dating either when they message me, they always want to be friends/penpals or language exchange buddies (again--not really interested in K-girls).
Would be nice if there were some kind of dating website that connected expats to other expats... |
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minos
Joined: 01 Dec 2010
Location: kOREA
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:18 am Post subject: |
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Maybe cuz your all the way out in Anyang? Most of the foreign women are living in Seoul.
I tried to maintain a relationship while living outside seoul and it was a real pain in the ass.
| Quote: |
I don't drink or go to clubs and don't really go for girls who are really into that.
It's not that it's hard for me to get dates, I just never meet girls I want to date and when I do, they're not on the market for the above reasons
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Your in the wrong country if your looking to date non-asians.
I suppose you could try dating gyopos. Probaly your best compromise.
I'll assume your looking for something more "professional" or mature than the ESL backpacker chick. Go work in Hong Kong or Shanghai becuase the single women in that category are exceedingly rare here. I only know 2. I know a hell of alot of gyopos like tht though.
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| Would be nice if there were some kind of dating website that connected expats to other expats... |
Korean has quite possibly the most skewed expat gender ratio on earth. I wouldn't be susprised if 90-95% of expats were men. |
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myenglishisno
Joined: 08 Mar 2011
Location: Geumchon
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:58 am Post subject: |
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| minos wrote: |
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It's not that it's hard for me to get dates, I just never meet girls I want to date and when I do, they're not on the market for the above reasons
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Your in the wrong country if your looking to date non-asians.
I suppose you could try dating gyopos. Probaly your best compromise. |
I don't care what race someone is so long as we click. I actually don't know that many gyopos here. I know even fewer gyopos than white foreigners and since gyopos usually speak Korean, they usually date Korean too (in my experience).  |
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Zackback
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 4:34 am Post subject: |
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| Join a dating site. That's what I would do. This way you can be honest from the get go and bypas all the trash that's out there. |
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minos
Joined: 01 Dec 2010
Location: kOREA
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 4:58 am Post subject: |
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| myenglishisno wrote: |
| minos wrote: |
| Quote: |
It's not that it's hard for me to get dates, I just never meet girls I want to date and when I do, they're not on the market for the above reasons
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Your in the wrong country if your looking to date non-asians.
I suppose you could try dating gyopos. Probaly your best compromise. |
I don't care what race someone is so long as we click. I actually don't know that many gyopos here. I know even fewer gyopos than white foreigners and since gyopos usually speak Korean, they usually date Korean too (in my experience). |
Go to Luv lounge; hit on all the women there.
If they date non-asians back home, they do it here too. |
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DBXD
Joined: 16 May 2011
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 6:44 am Post subject: Re: Dating non-Korean girls in Korea |
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| myenglishisno wrote: |
What's the deal with it?
Bear with me while I rant.
I pointed out in another thread the reasons why I'm not into Korean girls. I've been down that road before and it didn't end well. I came to the conclusion that when you date a Korean girl you're taking a huge risk. I was a "nice guy" when I came here and I the girl dated took advantage of me because I was naive and didn't know anything. I stopped being a nice guy, have been here for awhile and am significantly more weathered than I was when I came. Guess what? I can't even get past the first date with Korean girls now.
Not just that, I don't even really want to. I always get the feeling that they're lying about some things and keeping other things secret. They're always so closed off. Honesty and openness are two very important things to me and they seem to be in very short supply within Korean culture.
Anyway, enough of that. Let's just say I don't go for Korean girls but I do however, date foreign girls.
I find it funny that foreign girls on the boards complain about how hard it is to find decent Western guys here. It's a two way street.
I keep meeting the same types of foreign girls:
1. In a long term relationship (they came to Korea with their partner).
2. Not interested in any kind of relationship.
3. Only interested in Korean men (this is becoming more and more common).
and
4. Only date servicemen.
I'm a normal guy, not bad looking and more well rounded than a lot of the other people I meet here. I've been single for three years. I've been on a handful of dates in that time and always with people I don't find remotely interesting. I tried being really social and going out to meet people in activity clubs and things like that, but all the girls have fallen squarely into the categories above.
I don't drink or go to clubs and don't really go for girls who are really into that.
It's not that it's hard for me to get dates, I just never meet girls I want to date and when I do, they're not on the market for the above reasons.
Anyone else have this problem? Should I just accept being single for the rest of my time in Korea?
Also, being in one's late 20s sucks. I don't even know any single people here or back home. I really don't. |
LOL sorry dude, I don't have much in regards to helping you with advice on how to meet foreign girls--i prefer GOOD Korean girls and they are everywhere--I don't know why you and others are getting stuck with bad ones.
I laughed above because of your username. Funny. |
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Stout
Joined: 28 May 2011
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:27 am Post subject: |
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If you don't click with all the "good" Korean girls that are the staple in this country  , don't sweat it. Get started on an MA, or some other type of project, something that means something to you. That way you won't waste your time worrying about things that don't deserve an iota of your energy, and you'll make headway on something worthy, which will make you more attractive in the long run. The majority of those that spent all their time, energy, and money chasing after mirages will be left with their right hand, or something less than what a lot of people consider to be ideal, or even bearable. |
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myenglishisno
Joined: 08 Mar 2011
Location: Geumchon
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:43 am Post subject: |
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| Stout wrote: |
| If you don't click with all the "good" Korean girls that are the staple in this country , don't sweat it. Get started on an MA, or some other type of project, something that means something to you. That way you won't waste your time worrying about things that don't deserve an iota of your energy, and you'll make headway on something worthy, which will make you more attractive in the long run. |
I'm starting my MA soon. The goal is to have it finished before the time I'm 30. Unfortunately, I don't want to be single into my 30s...
| Stout wrote: |
| The majority of those that spent all their time, energy, and money chasing after mirages will be left with their right hand, or something less than what a lot of people consider to be ideal, or even bearable. |
Herpes? |
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Stout
Joined: 28 May 2011
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:52 am Post subject: |
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| That, or the big W, one who you may have to placate with endless assurances that you will keep up appearances, buy all the latest goods and gadgets for in order to stay abreast of her friends' and rivals' household standard, work yourself silly for the kiddies' hagwon, etc. |
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sirius black
Joined: 04 Jun 2010
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:07 pm Post subject: |
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No offense to the OP, but oftentimes when I hear guys complain about the selection of women or whatever, its usually guys who really have trouble getting women in general. Both here and back home.
I've rarely seen a guy who dated somewhat regularly back home have trouble finding someone in Korea. Lets be honest, a good portion of the foreign men and women here in Korea aren't the best our countries has to offer in terms of looks, social skills and personality. You don't have to be good looking. Personality goes a long way. I've known plenty of guys who date regularly here and are not male models by any stretch of the imagination. Look in the mirror first is my advice and see if the person there has issues or needs fixing. Not talking minor repairs or a tune up either, I'm talking major repairs.
The larger cities have lots of cool, datable women both Korea and foreign. The pickings get sliim in small towns for foreign women although I would suggest that the korean girl is fairly homogeneous no matter where you are. Exceptions are there but by and large I doubt someone can talk to a girl and tell right off the bat if she's from Seoul or countryside. |
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edwardcatflap
Joined: 22 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 4:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| That, or the big W, one who you may have to placate with endless assurances that you will keep up appearances, buy all the latest goods and gadgets for in order to stay abreast of her friends' and rivals' household standard, work yourself silly for the kiddies' hagwon, etc. |
Where do you get your evidence that this is the norm? As I mentioned in the other thread, which looked like it was deleted, some women behave like this but some women everywhere do. Why do you think it's particular to Korea? The people I know married to Koreans don't seem to do any more overtime than those who aren't 'to buy all the 'latest goods' and you don't see them poring over catalogs or talking about which hagwan their neighbour has sent their kid to. In fact there's one guy I know who has a K GF who wants all the latest handbags and the like and people make fun of him because it's out of the ordinary.
It's funny that the majority of people on here revel in the fact that they're free spirits and escaping from the rat race/corporate slave thing back home and then so many of them seem to be worried that as soon as they get married to someone that person will propel them straight back, against their wishes, into the kind of conventional social situation they are rebelling against. Are you that weak-willed? |
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frankhenry
Joined: 13 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 5:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Stout wrote: |
| If you don't click with all the "good" Korean girls that are the staple in this country , don't sweat it. Get started on an MA, or some other type of project, something that means something to you. That way you won't waste your time worrying about things that don't deserve an iota of your energy, and you'll make headway on something worthy, which will make you more attractive in the long run. The majority of those that spent all their time, energy, and money chasing after mirages will be left with their right hand, or something less than what a lot of people consider to be ideal, or even bearable. |
There are lots of "good" Korean girls here, most are great. Most guys that have problems dating Korean girls also had problems dating the girls in their home country, though many will not admit it. The problem is more often than not in the guy. Just like back home, even more-so, the girls here don't want to end up with a loser. Most of the foreign guys who are married to Korean women are mature, responsible adults. I don't blame the girls here for not wanting to settle down with or marry some slacky. |
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wishfullthinkng
Joined: 05 Mar 2010
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 6:24 pm Post subject: Re: Dating non-Korean girls in Korea |
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| myenglishisno wrote: |
I pointed out in another thread the reasons why I'm not into Korean girls. I've been down that road before and it didn't end well. I came to the conclusion that when you date a Korean girl you're taking a huge risk. I was a "nice guy" when I came here and I the girl dated took advantage of me because I was naive and didn't know anything. I stopped being a nice guy, have been here for awhile and am significantly more weathered than I was when I came. Guess what? I can't even get past the first date with Korean girls now.
Not just that, I don't even really want to. I always get the feeling that they're lying about some things and keeping other things secret. They're always so closed off. Honesty and openness are two very important things to me and they seem to be in very short supply within Korean culture.
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ever watch office space? they have a "jump to conclusions mat" in the movie. sounds like you've been using one a good deal.
| myenglishisno wrote: |
I keep meeting the same types of foreign girls:
1. In a long term relationship (they came to Korea with their partner).
2. Not interested in any kind of relationship.
3. Only interested in Korean men (this is becoming more and more common).
and
4. Only date servicemen. |
1. understandable. some people want to come and enjoy a foreign place with the one they love.
2. most teachers live a transient lifestyle and whether they consciously or subconsciously realize it, many behave differently in a foreign country. it's different, it's new, it's exciting. they behave like it's college all over again, so the ones who have evolved beyond that usually don't want to date other teachers who haven't, and the ones who haven't want to just have transient unattached fun.
3. asian fever strikes again.
4. no comment.
| myenglishisno wrote: |
| I don't drink or go to clubs and don't really go for girls who are really into that. |
you are in the wrong country for that. ever thought about broadening your horizons?
| myenglishisno wrote: |
Anyone else have this problem? Should I just accept being single for the rest of my time in Korea?
Also, being in one's late 20s sucks. I don't even know any single people here or back home. I really don't. |
of course others have the same problem. on the other hand, there are those who don't. it really sounds like to me that it's just your frame of mind that is holding you back. oh, and the lack of drinking. i just can't understand why people wouldn't in moderation. romantic dinner at a wine bar in sinsa? oh waiter, water for me and wine for her. strike out.
accepting failure is always an option. or you can jump back on the horse and try again. as for being in the late 20's sucking, well you must really be getting beat down by the hammer of life recently because for some of us (myself included) it has been nothing short of incredible. |
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