Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mkpopcorn]

I have been here two days and am sooo homesick..I already want to go home so bad! How do you deal? How long does it take to get over and when do you throw in the towel? Just curious... I am hating my Korean life now, mainly because I am so lonely and there is no one around.. any advice?

[luckylooch]

where are you?

[mkpopcorn]

In Banghwa, its like at the end of line number 5 in Seoul...its so empty and lonely here, and then when you do go to places with Americans, like Itaewon and Hongdae, they just ignore you if they don't know you. No one is really nice, and I came here alone without knowing anybody and now I am just super lonely and am hating everything about Korea...

[litebear]

It's a shame to hear that, but it's only been 2 days! Things will improve. Do you have any other westerners at your school who you could grab a bite with/grab a drink with? My advice would be don't reject any invites, if someone asks you to come along to do an activity/night out go and do it! Sitting at home on facebook will only make you feel worse.

Edit: Just saw your last post. Also try and find some meetup groups and tag along with them, might be awkward at first but you'll make friends eventually. Remember when you do meet new people don't let a complaint be the first thing out your mouth, people don't often wanna spend their friday nights with someone who is down in the dumps

http://www.meetup.com/cities/kr/seoul/

Check out that meetup on Tuesday do you finish early enough to attend?

[mkpopcorn]

Thanks well, my co-workers live away, there is only 2 english teachers besides me. One is way older and has been there 4 years, the other has been there a year and a half. They seem to all have their own friends. I wouldn't reject invites, I just don't get them...everyone, especially foreigners in Korea seem to be so cold!

The meet-up idea is good... I am not a negative nancy, I am usually the most positive person! Its just Seoul is making me super depressed...everyone, especially foreigners seem so distant, what is up with that? I know for sure if I make it a long time, I will never treat newbies like that, its hard being new, in a huge place, all alone...

[sirius black]

Its completely natural to be homesick. I can offer this hope. You may have experienced the same thing in college if you went somewhere you didn't know anyone and it worked out fine, right?

Its been a couple days. I promise you, you will find friends eventually. You're not experiencing anything anyone else hasn't.

I assume you're the only foreigner in your school. There are places and activities you can go or attend where you can meet people who will befriend you.

As for Itaewon and Hongdae, those are great places to hang out and have fun IF you go with friends or IF you are a loner for the day or night and just want to people watch, etc. They are not great places to go and meet new people. Exceptions if you're a hot chick. You're gonna get hit on no matter where. To a lesser extent if you're a very handsome guy.

Find local, specialized activities on FB and attend those such as language classes, book club, hiking group, or some sport, hobby or activity in and around Seoul

[northway]

I find it a bit odd for your coworkers not to be welcoming, though perhaps it's because you're at a relatively small school. Generally your coworkers will be the people to take you out, show you around, and help you get your feet under you until you either bond with them or find your own social circle.

As for people out in Hongdae and Itae, don't be too hard on them. Try bars like the Wolfhound, Rocky Mountain Tavern, Sam Ryan's, or Dillinger's (all in Itaewon, and probably in that order) if you want to meet some people; all of those places have bars where you can sit and mingle, and often bring in an early crowd on weekends that's down to chat. I don't know where you could go about trying to meet people in Hongdae. If you're going during the day, you're probably trying to make friends with people who are running errands or going to lunch, not trying to be social. When have you tried going to these areas?

I should note: meeting people when out drinking solo isn't really the most effective way of making friends (said from way too much experience).

[litebear]

Yeah, it sucks that the people you work with didn't offer an invite on your first weekend. But maybe they've been burned in the past and wanted to get to know you a little better first? It's hard but sometimes you need to make the first move, don't be afraid to invite them to do something next time and if they give you the cold shoulder then f*ck em! Their loss! Like I said try and get along to the meet ups and try and spend as much time out and about as possible! Things will improve

[mkpopcorn]

Thanks, litebear which meet-up tuesday? there was a bunch at that link, but that is definitely a great idea and I am definitely going to attend some.

My co-workers seem nice enough, but just not to the extent of socializing outside of professional life. They all have boyfriends, families and friends of their own and don't seem to want to bothered with someone else, when they don't need to be. I was supposed to meet up with two today, one cancelled because she ended having other plans and the other one is kind of my superior I guess, we talked about work the whole time and then she ran off to go do stuff.

I guess maybe I'll give Itaewon another chance... I went to Hongdae the other night and it just seemed to me that a lot of the foreigners were very unfriendly.

College was very different, I was living with one or two other girls, in dorms or houses filled with people, and we all ate together, went to classes together, went out on weekends together....this is my first time living along and I guess starting living in Korea wasn't the best idea...

[litebear]

http://www.meetup.com/seoullovers/events/24999951/

I'd also agree that language classes would be a good idea.

[northway]

This is why Seoul can actually be a bit tougher for newbs if they don't know anyone else in-country, as you lack the more closely knit foreigner communities of the satellite cities. The best thing I could recommend would be to find your local foreigner bar, but Seoul's foreigner bars, such as they are, tend to be concentrated in the aforementioned nightlife areas and are pulling people from all over the country.

[saram_]

Another good option is..
www.couchsurfing.com

Make a little profile.. Join the Seoul and South Korean groups..
There are many people on there in similar situations..

There are weekly meet ups in Itaewon etc..and a whole bunch of things going on to join along with..
Many strangers becoming friends easily on there!

[mycamaro]

Wow, first weekend here alone and you went to Hongdae and Itaewon. Alone. That's cool, you're not afraid to go out. I knew one guy who lived an hour bus ride away from Seoul, but was too scared to go alone. Even after 4 months. . As for other foreigners not being friendly to you, I think everyone does that after a few months and obtaining a social circle. A new foreigner typically has the same questions, comments, and appears way too needy! So yeah, it's usually something veteran foreigners avoid. Like the other posts said, join a meetup group to meet people. But you still might run into the mentioned attitude about new foreigners, so I advise not to appear as one.

[Ramen]

foreigners are dime a dozen in seoul.

when you feel lonely, skype your mommy and daddy.

[Feloria]

If this is the first time you have lived anywhere alone, then GOOD FOR YOU!!
There are very few people who would choose moving to the other side of the world as their first independent living experience!
I know how it can be, but the other poster's are right-it will get better.
'Meet-ups', language classes, etc. are great ways to meet people--and you're lucky that you live in Seoul.
There are tons of options!
Also--remember that there are TONS of people who felt the way you do when they first moved to KR.
Just give it some time, and yeah--call/Skype your family as often as you need to!
Plus-your friendly neighborhood DAVES ESL-CAFE community is here for ya!