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Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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Feloria
Joined: 02 Sep 2006
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 Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 8:13 pm Post subject: |
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If this is the first time you have lived anywhere alone, then GOOD FOR YOU!!
There are very few people who would choose moving to the other side of the world as their first independent living experience!
I know how it can be, but the other poster's are right-it will get better.
'Meet-ups', language classes, etc. are great ways to meet people--and you're lucky that you live in Seoul.
There are tons of options!
Also--remember that there are TONS of people who felt the way you do when they first moved to KR.
Just give it some time, and yeah--call/Skype your family as often as you need to!
Plus-your friendly neighborhood DAVES ESL-CAFE community is here for ya!! |
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sirius black
Joined: 04 Jun 2010
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| Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:38 pm Post subject: |
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Its an unwritten rule and a bit of a custom for foreign co-teachers to show you around and introduce you to friends at their favorite or local watering hole.
Very strange they haven't. This is gonna sound a wee bit harsh and may not be the case. Apologies ahead of time if you're offended by it, but one has to look at themselves as well if there are some things about yourself that is not socially appealing. Be it appearance or personality.
On a side note, the 'Seoul is the center of the universe' folks always big up Itaewon and Hongdae and in other threads I've said its one of the worst places to go out and meet new folks. Its akin to being back in America. There are so many foreigners around there is no uniqueness as you may have in other parts of town where there are almost no foreigners so if you spot another you sometimes speak to each other or make convo. Itaewon and Hongdae is where you go with friends and hang with said friends and don't socialize generally with anyone else. Its what I do when I'm in town and what 99% of other folks do.
The people who actually do speak in Itaewon and Hongdae are out of towners or new folks like yourself and even so, that's not often those people speak. |
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whitestboyalive
Joined: 09 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:40 pm Post subject: |
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Hey! It took me 3 months to really even start a good circle of friends going. At first it was just a couple that kept to themselves and a room-mate who was way weird!
I was so lucky when my new room-mate moved in! We would go out and party all the time, meeting new people. We formed our own social circle.
You just need ONE person! If you can find one person, in a pair, it's much easier to go out and meet new people. When you're all alone, people will be wondering "who's this person?" or you'll feel weird yourself.
Going out alone sucks.
So, how to meet that one person? You could meet them online, here, or join an activity in a club (tons of them on facebook: hiking clubs, friendship clubs). It's so easy! You just gotta know where to go!
P.S. Itaewon & Hongdae aren't the places to meet people. They are the places to go once you already have a group of friends, and you all go there together. Anyways, take my advice on getting at least one or two buddies to go out with, then you're gold. |
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mkpopcorn
Joined: 22 Apr 2011
Location: Oregon
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:22 am Post subject: |
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For sirius black...there is nothing socially awkward about me! I am not offended, I know those type of people, but I am not one of them! I am outgoing, friendly, good-looking ect.. I had tons of friends in the US!
Whitesboyalive, three months? If it takes me that long, I will already be gone! I cannot last that long without friends! I wish I had a roommate! I wonder do hagwons ever let you switch housing during a contract? |
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sirius black
Joined: 04 Jun 2010
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:28 am Post subject: |
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| Good to hear. You'll be fine then. Give it some time. |
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DaHu
Joined: 09 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:01 am Post subject: |
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| Get a hobby. You shouldn't need other people to entertain you. |
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mkpopcorn
Joined: 22 Apr 2011
Location: Oregon
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:00 am Post subject: |
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| Everyone needs others, get a hobby? You sound like one of the many jerk foreigners here, thanks for the advice, but everyone needs socialization. Its human nature. Thanks Sirius, I am hoping things get fine soon, this wanting to go home sucks! |
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marsavalanche
Joined: 27 Aug 2010
Location: where pretty lies perish
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 4:14 am Post subject: |
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| foreign coworkers didnt invite you out? yup, its definitely you. op, take a shower, shave off the ponytail, buy a nice shirt that isnt from your favorite anime or metal band, and go out and meet people. ther are ZERO excuses why you dont any friends by now. my first week in seoul i already had 2 coworkers trying to date me. dont become one of e bitter expats here, you just got here and at least give this country a shot. if you want some advice on how to be social, pm me. i wont charge much. |
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mkpopcorn
Joined: 22 Apr 2011
Location: Oregon
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:11 am Post subject: |
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I have TWO foreign co-workers, and both are females and neither are lesbians, and neither am I, so of course they don't want to date me.
Where do you live? Obviously you cannot talk until you walk in my shoes, I live in a crappy neighborhood, completely off the beaten path, neither of my co-workers live within six subway stops of me and I have only seen TWO other Americans in last 4 days in my neighborhood. Both of which were nice to me, so obviously they didn't think I was awful.
No thanks to your offer of advice, you seem like another expat jerk. |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:19 am Post subject: |
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| sirius black wrote: |
On a side note, the 'Seoul is the center of the universe' folks always big up Itaewon and Hongdae and in other threads I've said its one of the worst places to go out and meet new folks. Its akin to being back in America. There are so many foreigners around there is no uniqueness as you may have in other parts of town where there are almost no foreigners so if you spot another you sometimes speak to each other or make convo. Itaewon and Hongdae is where you go with friends and hang with said friends and don't socialize generally with anyone else. Its what I do when I'm in town and what 99% of other folks do.
The people who actually do speak in Itaewon and Hongdae are out of towners or new folks like yourself and even so, that's not often those people speak. |
I kind of asked this before and I'll ask it more directly now: are there foreigner dominated locals in areas outside of Hongdae and Itaewon? Not that I necessarily desire foreign domination, but Koreans don't exactly roll out to bars looking to make friends, whereas it's entirely normal in the West to talk to folks you don't know when you're out for a few. Living in Sanbon (Gunpo), I know of four or five bars within a 4,000 won cab ride (or a five minute walk) where I can always count on meeting some foreigners who'd be down to chat. Given the preponderance of Seoul's nightlife districts, I don't get the feeling that it really has the same kind of local bars that a newb could walk into and be welcomed. Am I wrong?
But really, OP, a few things:
1) To reiterate, you've only been here a few days. Take a deep breath.
2) Get a phone ASAP, if you don't have one. It's awfully difficult to maintain a connection with someone you meet in passing if you don't have one. If you can give someone a number to contact you at, particularly if it's someone you meet around your neighborhood, they're way more likely to think about shooting you a text prior to going out after work for dinner/drinks. If you don't, it's a significantly greater hassle to meet up with you and it's far less likely to happen.
3) Don't bother trying to meet people in Itaewon or Hongdae. If I'm out with my friends or girlfriend and foreigners come up and start talking to me because I'm another foreigner, it's almost the same intrusion as when Koreans come up and talk to me because they want to practice their English. A minor inconvenience, and one I will be gracious about, but one that I could certainly do without. If you ran into me in my neighborhood I'd be more than happy to help out, but remember, a hell of a lot of the people you'll run into in Hongdae live no where near you and are unlikely to make long-lasting, reliable friends, regardless of how much you mutually enjoyed the pole dancing at Gorilla. |
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Bada_Bing
Joined: 25 May 2011
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:31 am Post subject: |
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| You're co-workers are damn ignorant, but they're not the only ones. Maybe they're just set in their ways but either way, it's a poor way to behave. |
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marsavalanche
Joined: 27 Aug 2010
Location: where pretty lies perish
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:41 am Post subject: |
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| mkpopcorn wrote: |
I have TWO foreign co-workers, and both are females and neither are lesbians, and neither am I, so of course they don't want to date me.
Where do you live? Obviously you cannot talk until you walk in my shoes, I live in a crappy neighborhood, completely off the beaten path, neither of my co-workers live within six subway stops of me and I have only seen TWO other Americans in last 4 days in my neighborhood. Both of which were nice to me, so obviously they didn't think I was awful.
No thanks to your offer of advice, you seem like another expat jerk. |
You just gave yourself away and perpetuated why Americans are the ones who always struggle the most out of mommy's basement. You refuse to accept it, but your attitude is the reason why no one wants to be around you, and why you weren't even invited out for a drink after getting off the plane. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will make friends in this country. Or you can just refuse to accept the truth, and book the next ticket out of here hating Korea wondering why we're all terrible people in your fantasy world.
- Your neighborhood isn't "crappy." Why, because there aren't expat bars on every corner? Be thankful your city even has a subway. You think we all came here and were given a nice spacious loft on expat row? Get real dude. Stop your complaining and take your "day in my shoes" shtick to the waaaaaaambulance.
- Why do so many women here complain about not being able to meet people? If I was a chick I wouldn't even have enough room in my phone for friends. One of my girlfriends was the ONLY foreigner at her school, from rural South Carolina, and had the courage to go to Itaewon alone and be social. Again, no excuses. One life, don't waste it on the sidelines moping.
- The fact that you're complaining about not seeing enough Americans is such an American thing to do. Reality check: You Do Not Live In America! As an American I really hope you adjust your attitude, change your ways, or put your chapter in Korea to a close. This entire thread is full of self-entitlement whining and it's embarrassing to read as someone from your home country. |
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420trader
Joined: 22 May 2011
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:46 am Post subject: |
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hey baby how you doin  |
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TeaTime
Joined: 12 Jan 2011
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:57 am Post subject: |
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Hey, look at it this way - some of these posters are downright meanspirited and THEY found someone to hang out with them eventually. I'll probably be in your shoes in another month. Maybe I'll see you around!  |
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maladict23
Joined: 17 May 2011
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 9:11 am Post subject: |
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| pmsl, at the OP. |
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