Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Panda]

I posted this topic here because I believe the most intelligent people often come here. And also I believe my story could make a current event

(Before this happened, I never thought it would actually happen to me)



About a month ago, one weekend afternoon, my ex-boyfriend, a 38-year-old Greek national, by that time who I had been dating for 4 months, physically assaulted me at his apartment after I proposed a break-up.

The reason I wanted a break up is because I found out he cheated on me with some other woman. However when I was about to leave his home he blocked the doorway and would not let me go. He also grabbed my phone after I told him I would call the police. I was afraid he would abuse me again ( he did before) so I ran to the balcony and screamed for help. He then started to strangle me and beat me on my left ribcage with his fist and threw my laptop out of his apartment window(15th floor).

After that I ran away from his home, I collected my laptop pieces and called the police, 6 officers came ( later only 2 came with me to my ex's home). There was huge difficulty communicating with the officers since neither of us spoke enough Korean. I insisted we go to police station and register this as a case, my ex-bf kept saying it was just a fight between couples, no need to go to the police station. The police officers later made my ex pay me 3 million won for my laptop and data recovery. I also insisted they send me to the hospital for a check, the police said they couldn't do so, as a result they asked my ex give me another 200K won for a medical check ( they told me 200K was more than enough).

I left my ex and went home by a taxi. That evening I started to feel so much pain, and the next morning, I almost passed out in my bathroom and my roomate helped call the 119 and sent me to an emergency room.The doctor found out I had a spleen rupture and I bled a lot inside, after 2 blood transfusion and an emergency surgical treatment. my condition was finally stablized, I stayed in hospital for 10 days and then went home. The hospitalization cost me 10 million won.

[Panda]

I sent an email to my ex when I was in hospital telling him what happebed. He replied an email, begging me not to go to the police and "destroy his life" and promised to pay for the hospital bill, he also told me "he truely loved me and never lied to me and never cheated on me".


So I got a friend, who is an English professor (he used to be an American lawyer), help me prepare a settlement document and talk to my ex ( since i didn't want to talk to him directly).My ex made little progress and put off meetings with my friend again and again.

However, during the long negotiation with my ex, I did some private investigation, and found out this guy cheated on me with at least 3 women, and abused many others and actually got reported to the police once ( the woman later dropped the case).

On the other hand, my ex insisted he earns only 4 million/mon (I never asked how much he earned, but from the infomation he gave me and what his ex told me, he earns more than 20 million/month) , he was unwilling to give the money we proposed and slowly increased his offer from 5M to 10M to 12M (he believed I would not really go to police because i needed money) and later when he finally added his offer to 40M (pay me within a year), I decided to terminate the settlement and told him I couldn't accept that , because I became very angry and I believed he is way more dangerous to the society than we thought and he should get punished by way more than money .

[Panda]

So this morning, I reported him to the police, and in a few days the police will start the investigation.


However, I was told by some of my Korean friends, I will not be able to send him to jail. Neither would I get any monetary compensation because domestic violence is so prevalent in this country, plus i have recovered (physically) and it has been one month since it happebed. Very likely he would just get a 5 million won fine.

I have a news reporter friend, i asked him if he could help me report it on the newspaper, he said the same thing, he believed it was not worth reporting.


Other advices including "reporting him to his company and getting him fired" " talking to the Greek embassy and Chinese embassy" .


Since the investigation has not started yet, I really don't know what will happen in future. I have enough evidences to show he did actual harm to me. But I am still worried the Korean police will not take it seriously.


Am I too stupid to not accept his money but expect a legal punishment against him? Is there anything else I should do except waiting for the police to do their job?

[recessiontime]

Sorry to hear that you have been through a tough ordeal panda. It sounds like you have done everything alright. you've pressed criminal charges, you've collected all the evidence that shows that he's cost you a lot of money and physically hurt you. Suing him to get that 10million won back sounds but in the back of my mind I know there is a good chance he can just take off to Greece or whatever.

In the mean time I would go ahead and contact the Greek embassy in SK and tell them what happened and that you have evidence to prove it. That will make sure he has nowhere to run to. Don't let people convince you that this happens often and is trivial, it's not.

[Julius]

[riverboy]

Panda. That's a terrible story. I hope you can recover both emotionally and physically.

Let me start by saying that I am in no way an expert on these matters.

Korea is a strange place. Guilt is not like it is in the West and it is more common and even "appropriate" to take the blood money. The cops and even the justice system are used to this and I wonder if the little amount of time he will serve in Jail (if he even does) will amount end up being as hard on him as if you took it to him financially.

I don't know what the best advice is, only weigh your options and tae the one that benefits you the most and puts the least amount of mental stress on you.

This kind of stuff really sickens me. Where I come from, a guy like him will get what's coming to him. If you were my sister, I'd be up on assault charges right now.

Good luck

[NovaKart]

Real sorry that this happened to you and and good for you for being smart enough not to go back to him. I hope that didn't sound condescending, I just have known other people who will put up with anything and forgive someone.

I have no idea about the Korean legal system but have you thought about connecting with the other women he hurt? If people can see you're not just one person with a grudge maybe that can help.

Perhaps in the end it won't be worth the hassle to take legal action but at least you did something and got at least some compensation out of it.

[methdxman]

Few questions:

1) Has this happened to you before?

2) First time someone has cheated on you?

Cut your losses and move on, why do you want to obsess over getting this guy punished? Just get a restraining order on him, remove him from your life. Stop contacting him.

[NovaKart]

2 Reasons I can think of - to try and get compensation and to prevent this from happening to other women, at least in Korea.

Remember he caused her serious injury to the point where she had to go to the hospital.

The first reason may not be worth the effort and maybe the second one too but I think it's worth while to at least look into the possibilities.

[Stout]

That was terrible that you had to go through that, sounds like something from a film. He must've really let himself go and pummeled you something awful. Shocking that he suddenly changed into that type of monster, with no previous warning signs. Suppose that kind of money can mask a lot things, though.

[Julius]

[Kuros]

The Korean legal system is different from the American system, but . . .

. . . its time to move on from the police. Its unlikely he'll be criminally liable. You need to pursue civil liability in tort.

You need to act promptly. Statute of limitations limit the time you have to press a civil suit. You will need to find a lawyer.

Make sure you have all your documentation in order, particularly your medical bills.

I see at least four possible tort causes of action:

false imprisonment
assault
battery
conversion (for the laptop; although it seems he has already paid for this)

It sounds as if the money will not be enough, but of course you should be able to get compensatory damages. But you seem to want punitive damages. I don't know what the Korean law is on this, but punitive damages are damages given above and beyond the compensatory medical expenses. They are meant to punish the offender for willful or grossly negligent conduct.

Ultimately, my advice is: consult a lawyer. I'm afraid the advice your Korean friends are giving you appears irresponsible and unreliable. Generally, laymen give terrible advice when it comes to legal matters. You'll likely need a lawyer to assure that he'll actually pay you, anyway.

The biggest problem I see here is enforcing a judgment. Let's say you do win against this guy in court. He may just flee the country. That's the biggest reason to be skeptical that the courts can help you. But its also the reason why you'll need a lawyer by your side to assure that any negotiated settlement (yes, I recommend a settlement) will be enforced. But Korean courts, if they are anything like US courts, should have the power to garnish his wages. That means they would be able to slowly take money from his salary he gets each month.

The last thing I would do is report him to his company or attack his reputation in any way. That is premature. Defamation laws in Korea are VERY protective of individuals and their reputations.

Consulting the Chinese embassy is a good idea . . . but honestly I wouldn't expect much from them (there's my anti-CCP bias showing).

Good luck.

[Panda]

Thanks, Kuros, thanks, everyone.

No, I don't have medical insurance here. That's why the bill is so huge.

He will leave this country in September ( although he told me he wanted to come back for other contracts, he works for the shipbuilding industry), people told me a civil charge in Korea could last for over 1 year, and it would be impossible to enforce once he left. ( but I will consult a lawyer again)

He physically abused me many times before this happened, when it happened for the first time I was so shocked and didn't even think of doing anything...He became more and more violent and the physical harm he caused became more severe each time, and I started to fight back, run away, or scream for help, and finally this time, i called the police (very late but not too late)

I was still with him because he was pathologically persistent and would try everything he could to get me back to him again. (Well, I have passed the "self-criticism" period, I know it is not that we women are too dumb so that we won't wake up from being abused. )


Another thing my other freinds told me is: I am relatively fine now ( they are "disappointed" my doctor didn't say anything like "permenent damages or disfunction, etc" ), that's why he will not go to jail ( although I told them my situation at that time was really critical, if my roomate didn't send me to the emergency room, I would have died) .


The other women were willing to talk to the police except one who said she was not interested and asked me not to contact her any more.


We will see what happenes in a few days.

[repeatpete]

may I echo my deep sympathy. What an absolutely awful thing to have been through.
Crimes committed overseas are sometimes treated the same as if they were committed in one's home country. I'm sure others can confirm if this applies in this case but, perhaps contacting the Greek embassy is also worthwhile.
Once again, so sorry to read of you going through such a horrible time.

[methdxman]