Korean Job Discussion Forums

[brento1138]

Hey OP. You should try going to the Pirate Bar in Sanbon. Another poster here commented on Sanbon. I find the foreigners there are always very nice, ready to make new friends. That's where I once lived. You should just take the subway, go to downtown Sanbon, have a good look around. There's usually foreigners there on Friday night or Sat. night playing darts, drinking. Sure you can find some random people. All you have to do is say, "Hey, I'm totally new to Korea. Mind if I join you guys?" 99% of the time, people will say "Sure, go ahead!"

[ippy]

dont turn up at weekends into foreigner bars on yoru own if you plan on meeting people. Definitely the best time is midweek. You'll certainly meet the worst bar flys (and maybe that isnt your thing), but i guarantee you, those bar flys know everyone else and EVERYTHING else going on. Theyre likely bored in the pub looking for new faces anyway, and its slower, easier going than a weekend so you can actually get to know the people.

As i say, its not like you have to be BFF with them, but they are like the superhighway to everyone else. Certainly you might feel a bit like an alchy drinking mid week, but if quick fix friends are your priority, well its one of the fastest routes in.

Weekends on the other hand are always groups of people doing their own thing and too fast paced to really find something. The next thing you know its probably 12am on a saturday, youve wandered the streets, youve had a bite to eat and now youre sat in a PC bang chatting to your mates back home. :/ Weekends are a TERRIBLE time to meet people when youre on your own.

[Yaya]

Two days? My gosh, GROW A PAIR!

[northway]

[ren546]

Maybe we should stop being so harsh regarding the OP's coworkers. Granted, it's true that they should at least offer to take the OP out with them once, but the OP, and others who come here, need to realize that moving to a new country isn't always one big frat party, and your coworkers are not necessarily your best friends. Maybe they don't yet trust you. Remember that Korea is a fairly conservative country, and what we choose to do on the weekends may often be something that we don't want our coworkers or employers to find out about.

I am happy to offer my assistance to new coworkers, and to go out for dinner with them and introduce them to the area, but my obligations stop there. I am in no way required to introduce them to my own personal network after knowing them only for two days, since doing so in some cases might run the risk of muddling the distinction between my work life and my personal life.

So to the OP: be patient, and take up every opportunity to go out that you can, but don't pressure people into being your friend. It will have the opposite effect. Build some trust with your coworkers and others by establishing some common interests, and by showing them not you're not just another crazy "I love everybody! Let's hang out!" newbie, and you could end up enjoying your time here. In the meantime, try learning Korean, join a gym, look for clubs and groups related to your interests, and see what happens.

But if you can't wait at least a few months to see what happens, then maybe this kind of lifestyle is not for you.

[ryanbrezzi]

Yeah things will improve! Don't worry, just give it time. There's always a grace period just tough it out. Life iwll come together again.

[Feloria]

Wow--too bad this thread ended up this way.

There are many things I've noticed living in Korea for over 4 years, and one of them is that a person has to have a cetain level of maturity if they're going to make it in Korea(or any foreign country, for that matter).

And maturity has NOTHING to do with age--I've known people in their 20's who are extremely mature, and people in their 40's and 50's who act like idiots.

I've met many people who came to Korea, right out of college or soon after.
They never had to take care of themselves before-their parents paid for pretty much eveything. They never had any real responsiblities before.
They never had a "real Job" before.
Some of these folks were MATURE--and looked upon their new challenges as a way to grow, to gain independence; to contribute to something outside of themselves.
Others, however were quite IMMATURE, and looked upon everything as being "unfair", and would act as if everything should be the way they wanted it to be. They wanted everything to be easy and fun. It made no difference what advice others tried to give, or the fact that we were ALL going through the EXACT SAME transitions and challenges.
These people were just too immature to be here.

OP-I tried to support you at the beginning of this thread. I still wish the best for you, but it's up to you whether you want to rise to the challenge of what could be an amazing experience, or just give up and go home.

I hope you choose the former!

[mellow-d]

It's hard to be lonely especially if you were quite social in your home country. When I first came to Korea, I was placed in a satellite city and our school had about 10 foreigners and we all lived in the same building. We became pretty close and it was great always having something to do. Living in Seoul, I thought it would be similar but it totally isn't. The foreigners here tend to be really clicky and not too interested in making new friends. It's definitely not something I had anticiated. If I were to give advice to a newbie, it'd be to go to a smaller city and to make sure you have a good size staff. For me, it'd be really unnatural and awkward to hit up a bar and try to weasel my way into someone's conversation. I suppose you could join a group or language class and try your best to make some friends. Give it a good run (at least a few months) because you never know how things will change. Maybe your school will hire another teacher who's going to be your soul mate...you never know!

[mkpopcorn]

[Draz]

If you're so social it's painful to be without interactions, you should probably bring a friend to Korea with you. Too late for the OP, but for anyone else reading.

I remember the first time I was left alone in my apartment in Korea and just having this feeling of absolute despair wash over me. I'd lived on my own for four years, worked many jobs, didn't really have many friends back home anyway, but I still felt so alone it was uncomfortable. I don't even remember what I did those first couple weeks before I met anyone. I seem to recall obsessively watching a lot of nice comforting TV that I had saved on the computer I brought with me.

Once I met people I went out every weekend Friday and Saturday, which was surprising. I really really wanted to spend time with people, and it was a complete turn-around from how I used to be. This didn't change until I got a roommate after a year.

I was in the freaking boonies for the first six months though. There were hardly even any Koreans around, forget foreigners. I think it took me a month before my first trip to Itaewon. I had to figure out where the bus station was and how to buy a ticket and all that.

[mkpopcorn]

Agreed. If I could do it over, most definitely would bring someone! But, it changed for you after a couple of weeks, so maybe after a month I will be happier too...one can only hope! I definitely totally empathize with the washing over of despair that you feel, that is how I would describe it exactly!

[authoritar]

Keep sticking it through. I know it's hard for the first few days, weeks but for me you plucked up the courage to come here so you have the guts to stay. I would suggest waiting at least 2 weeks, try to find friends in your local area and of course make connections with your co-workers.

Hope it works out for you.