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office politics: too social, or not social enough??

 
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Feloria



Joined: 02 Sep 2006

PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 9:18 pm    Post subject: office politics: too social, or not social enough?? Reply with quote

I worked at a pretty large institute; maybe 10+ foreign teachers.
They're a great bunch of people--I like them and like to socialize fairly regularly(I think).

But sometimes on weekends I just want to be away from anything "work related", and yes, that includes socializing with my co-workers.
I worked an average of 7 hours a day,usually split shifts, so I was around my co-workers 10 hours a day(including prep time), 5 days a week!
Is it wrong to want a break from time to time?

Here's an example:
One weekend one of the teachers had a party-he's a cool guy; so I went and had a good time.
The following weekend a different teacher had a party. She's pretty cool and I didn't want to be rude,so I went.It was OK-same bunch of people as the previous week, but pretty decent none-the-less.
Well, the following weekend another teacher wanted to have a 'get together'.
It was on a Friday, and I had had one of those weeks where I just wanted to get the hell out of there and not even think of the place.
So I politely declined, and was told that I was being rude and anti-social.

What the hell??Is that really considered anti-social??
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Gorf



Joined: 25 Jun 2011

PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 9:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just tell them you have a hot date and you don't wanna miss out on some Han Princess action
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ThingsComeAround



Joined: 07 Nov 2008

PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah. Gotta have a good excuse- like the "hot date" or "made plans with my friends"
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furtakk



Joined: 02 Jun 2009

PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

best excuse is 'sorry i have other plans.' go even farther by saying, maybe we can meet up later if we're in the same neighborhood. everyone's happy.
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tanklor1



Joined: 13 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 4:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, you got your own life to lead. You can do other things outside of the clique.
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David Gerrington



Joined: 20 Jun 2008

PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 11:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Next time on The OC...
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ryanbrezzi



Joined: 23 Jun 2011
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's not anti social...you were tired. They interpreted it incorrectly. If it's having a real impact on your relations at work try to smooth it out by explaining..
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cayce23



Joined: 19 Mar 2010
Location: Gwangju, South Korea

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When working at a large school, the foreign teachers feel bonded together because they have something in common in a foreign country. However, just because you work together doesn't mean you have to be friends. No one would reasonably expect that in America (or whatever country you're from) so why should it apply here?

Some of our teachers (we have 7) feel that way when one has other plans without the group or just doesn't want to go out.

It really does feel like the OC sometimes.
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some waygug-in



Joined: 25 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:56 am    Post subject: Re: office politics: too social, or not social enough?? Reply with quote

Feloria wrote:
I worked at a pretty large institute; maybe 10+ foreign teachers.
They're a great bunch of people--I like them and like to socialize fairly regularly(I think).

But sometimes on weekends I just want to be away from anything "work related", and yes, that includes socializing with my co-workers.
I worked an average of 7 hours a day,usually split shifts, so I was around my co-workers 10 hours a day(including prep time), 5 days a week!
Is it wrong to want a break from time to time?

Here's an example:
One weekend one of the teachers had a party-he's a cool guy; so I went and had a good time.
The following weekend a different teacher had a party. She's pretty cool and I didn't want to be rude,so I went.It was OK-same bunch of people as the previous week, but pretty decent none-the-less.
Well, the following weekend another teacher wanted to have a 'get together'.
It was on a Friday, and I had had one of those weeks where I just wanted to get the hell out of there and not even think of the place.
So I politely declined, and was told that I was being rude and anti-social.

What the hell??Is that really considered anti-social??


Tell them they are being rude and overly "needy". Laughing

Seriously, just say you have other plans as mentioned above. If they ask about your plans, "I'm meeting an old friend" is a good all round
answer.
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litebear



Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Holland

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Saying you have a date is always the easiest way out. No one will question that.
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waynehead



Joined: 18 Apr 2006
Location: Jongno

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome to Korea, where wanting alone time is considered a mental disorder, by Koreans and waygookins alike.

Excuses, excuses, excuses are the only way to get time to yourself often. I often just say "I have plans" or "I'm busy." It's not a lie, per se, I do have plans...plans to stay in and watch a movie.
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Ramen



Joined: 15 Apr 2008

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

white lie, black lie, gray lie, lie lie lie....that's the way you do it. Razz
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Malislamusrex



Joined: 01 Feb 2010

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't go, they don't care...

It's not a big deal.
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