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Ruby Thursday
Joined: 29 Jun 2011
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 Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:07 pm Post subject: |
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| gem wrote: |
Red flags:
Guys who use too much hair gel.
A potential partner who I find out has an unattractive and/or unintelligent, or a pretty, but crazy exwife or exgirlfriend.
Conspiracy theorists.
Divorced guys with kids. I'm not interested.
People who drive luxury car(s) and own no otherwise potentially gainful investment like property, stock, life insurance, etc...
A date who hesitates to pay for lunch or dinner. An interested man wouldn't think of me paying.
Hunters.
People who talk about religion or politics incessantly. You can't convert me.
Guys who prefer blondes.
People who've never owned a pet.
People who've owned three or more pets at one time. You're pushing it.
Vegetarians. It's just too freaking impractical.
People who can't swallow pills or put eye drops in their eyes.
People who shun pork but eat chicken and other meat.
People who can't eat spicy foods.
People who obsess over sports and they're not even placing bets.
Adults who have not traveled beyond US borders and have no desire to.
Guys who aren't naturally athletic and enjoy hiking and being outdoors.
Guys who've never played a competitive sport in high school or college or at least played an instrument in a band.
People who don't read at least a few books a year on average.
People who won't drink water or hardly eat any veggies.
People who don't like Thai food.
Slow drivers.
Guys who don't have good relationships with their mothers. |
First off, good list. You're my kinda chick. Fur Realz.
Except for the lunch/dinner part. The 1st date is a feeling out process. It SHOULD be dutch. You do realize that for every one of you, there are 5 girls who are just freeloaders right? It has nothing to do with how interested you are in a chick. IMO some tool who eagerly pulls out his wallet in the hopes of impressing a girl is someone most quality females wouldn't want. He would fit into the expensive car with no assets category.
Any girl that expects me to pay for everything on a date simply isn't worth it. Cheapness isn't gender specific. It's a two way street. My big red frag. |
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Son Deureo!
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
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| Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:32 pm Post subject: |
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| gem wrote: |
Red flags:
Guys who use too much hair gel.
A potential partner who I find out has an unattractive and/or unintelligent, or a pretty, but crazy exwife or exgirlfriend.
Conspiracy theorists.
Divorced guys with kids. I'm not interested.
People who drive luxury car(s) and own no otherwise potentially gainful investment like property, stock, life insurance, etc...
A date who hesitates to pay for lunch or dinner. An interested man wouldn't think of me paying.
Hunters.
People who talk about religion or politics incessantly. You can't convert me.
Guys who prefer blondes.
People who've never owned a pet.
People who've owned three or more pets at one time. You're pushing it.
Vegetarians. It's just too freaking impractical.
People who can't swallow pills or put eye drops in their eyes.
People who shun pork but eat chicken and other meat.
People who can't eat spicy foods.
People who obsess over sports and they're not even placing bets.
Adults who have not traveled beyond US borders and have no desire to.
Guys who aren't naturally athletic and enjoy hiking and being outdoors.
Guys who've never played a competitive sport in high school or college or at least played an instrument in a band.
People who don't read at least a few books a year on average.
People who won't drink water or hardly eat any veggies.
People who don't like Thai food.
Slow drivers.
People who watch shows like Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, and the Bachelor.
Guys who don't have good relationships with their mothers. |
Let me guess, you have no idea why you're still single, do you? |
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gem
Joined: 06 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:00 pm Post subject: |
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"The 1st date is a feeling out process. It SHOULD be dutch."
I want to see your point but I have to disagree. The first date is a gamble. Everything can't be fair. Hopefully you won't blow money on a girl who's wasting your time and money but that's the risk you take when you ask a girl out.
If he likes me he'll pay without hesitation. If we're dutch in the end, we're likely done. I'll assume "he's just not that into me" and move on. |
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gem
Joined: 06 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Oh please, I'm fine, thank you! My red flags aren't concrete anyhow although too many would eventually drive me nuts. I can handle a few at a time. Certain ones are deal breakers like not eating spicy foods and talking about religion. My boyfriend insists on watching Dancing with the Stars much to my amusement, but he doesn't insist that I watch it with him so its okay. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:14 am Post subject: |
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| gem wrote: |
Red flags:
Guys who use too much hair gel.
A potential partner who I find out has an unattractive and/or unintelligent, or a pretty, but crazy exwife or exgirlfriend.
Conspiracy theorists.
Divorced guys with kids. I'm not interested.
People who drive luxury car(s) and own no otherwise potentially gainful investment like property, stock, life insurance, etc...
A date who hesitates to pay for lunch or dinner. An interested man wouldn't think of me paying.
Hunters.
People who talk about religion or politics incessantly. You can't convert me.
Guys who prefer blondes.
People who've never owned a pet.
People who've owned three or more pets at one time. You're pushing it.
Vegetarians. It's just too freaking impractical.
People who can't swallow pills or put eye drops in their eyes.
People who shun pork but eat chicken and other meat.
People who can't eat spicy foods.
People who obsess over sports and they're not even placing bets.
Adults who have not traveled beyond US borders and have no desire to.
Guys who aren't naturally athletic and enjoy hiking and being outdoors.
Guys who've never played a competitive sport in high school or college or at least played an instrument in a band.
People who don't read at least a few books a year on average.
People who won't drink water or hardly eat any veggies.
People who don't like Thai food.
Slow drivers.
People who watch shows like Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, and the Bachelor.
Guys who don't have good relationships with their mothers. |
I'm trying to come up with the word/phrase your post touches on...something along the lines of "not weird/not boring/moderation in all things/well-rounded/not delusional"
The last post is great. Anyone who has a bad relationship with their parents for non-abuse reasons (real abuse, not dad leaving you in jail for a night because you got drunk and crashed the car or mom telling you to clean your room) is almost always suspect. Usually means they always blame their problems on someone else. |
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Gorf
Joined: 25 Jun 2011
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 1:24 am Post subject: |
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I'd say you're legit on everything except the vegetarianism and the paying for the date thing.
You want equal rights/power/pay in the workplace, then you shouldn't expect a man to pay for you.
Second, being a vegetarian isn't impractical at all. Degenerate, maybe, and they'll all turn back into monkeys, but not impractical. I'm not even a vegetarian but that's a pretty broad net to cast. In fact on my list I would probably include "people who say they won't date one type of person because of it being too impractical".
It's pretty impractical for a white woman to date a black man in the American south, too. |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 2:40 am Post subject: |
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| I wouldn't date a vegetarian simply because I wouldn't be able to share so many things with her. |
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gem
Joined: 06 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 2:43 am Post subject: |
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| Gorf wrote: |
I'd say you're legit on everything except the vegetarianism and the paying for the date thing.
You want equal rights/power/pay in the workplace, then you shouldn't expect a man to pay for you.
Second, being a vegetarian isn't impractical at all. Degenerate, maybe, and they'll all turn back into monkeys, but not impractical. I'm not even a vegetarian but that's a pretty broad net to cast. In fact on my list I would probably include "people who say they won't date one type of person because of it being too impractical".
It's pretty impractical for a white woman to date a black man in the American south, too. |
There aren't equal rights for girls in the workplace though, so that's why I think you guys should pay. And really, be honest, most guys will pay in a snap if they're truly interested. It's just a date, a few hours, not even a dent in your life, so you really shouldn't sweat it.
I've known quite a few pizza and fries vegetarians and they're particularly annoying and impractical and in it for all the wrong reasons. Major red flags! I can't be bothered.
I somewhat agree that it's impractical for mixed couples to date in the deep south. It's probably more trouble than it's worth but that also depends on where you are. Not many people would care in Atlanta or Miami. |
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DorkothyParker
Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: Jeju
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 4:26 am Post subject: |
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I wouldn't date a vegetarian because I think eating meat is manly. I feel I have many boyish/male characteristics (even though I logically believe gender is a social construction and blah, blah, blah), I require a very rugged man who appreciates bloody steak to make me feel feminine in comparison.
I do disagree with the point of "naturally athletic" because one can't help what they are naturally. If you are uncomfortable with something or untalented but you do it anyway, that's hella sexy... way more sexy than effortless appeal.
But that is a digression which requires it's own post.
I will give a pass to the dudes not eating pork if they are Jewish. But that's because Jewish boys are purty. |
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Greyjoy
Joined: 12 Jun 2011
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 7:23 am Post subject: |
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| Ruby Thursday wrote: |
Except for the lunch/dinner part. The 1st date is a feeling out process. It SHOULD be dutch. You do realize that for every one of you, there are 5 girls who are just freeloaders right? It has nothing to do with how interested you are in a chick. IMO some tool who eagerly pulls out his wallet in the hopes of impressing a girl is someone most quality females wouldn't want. He would fit into the expensive car with no assets category.
Any girl that expects me to pay for everything on a date simply isn't worth it. Cheapness isn't gender specific. It's a two way street. My big red frag. |
Am I the only one who feels that if you ask someone else out, you should be prepared to foot the bill? It's not a gender issue.
It's nice if she wants to split it, but treating a person to a meal is a good way to show you're interested. You're overthinking gender roles. |
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Ruby Thursday
Joined: 29 Jun 2011
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Greyjoy wrote: |
| Ruby Thursday wrote: |
Except for the lunch/dinner part. The 1st date is a feeling out process. It SHOULD be dutch. You do realize that for every one of you, there are 5 girls who are just freeloaders right? It has nothing to do with how interested you are in a chick. IMO some tool who eagerly pulls out his wallet in the hopes of impressing a girl is someone most quality females wouldn't want. He would fit into the expensive car with no assets category.
Any girl that expects me to pay for everything on a date simply isn't worth it. Cheapness isn't gender specific. It's a two way street. My big red frag. |
Am I the only one who feels that if you ask someone else out, you should be prepared to foot the bill? It's not a gender issue.
It's nice if she wants to split it, but treating a person to a meal is a good way to show you're interested. You're overthinking gender roles. |
Who exactly is overthinking gender roles here? You're the one who is quite clearly mired in some outdated neolithic perception of gender roles by assuming the guy always asks the girl out. What is this 1930? According to Gem, regardless of the circumstances, the man should ALWAYS pay... because.....uhm......he has a *beep*.
| gem wrote: |
| There aren't equal rights for girls in the workplace though, so that's why I think you guys should pay. |
I think its safe to assume you are an ESL teacher, yes? So what if you date a fellow ESL teacher? Not only is the pay scale equal, I'd be willing to bet you make even more money than the guy due to private teaching opportunities. What then?
| Quote: |
| And really, be honest, most guys will pay in a snap if they're truly interested. It's just a date, a few hours, not even a dent in your life, so you really shouldn't sweat it. |
Man, this is such backwards ass thinking. Yes its just a date, for a few hours, not even a dent in your life....for YOU too. Are men and women not equal?? And this whole thing about men will pay if interested is complete and utter BS. Just like women, men want to feel valued and respected. They too are looking for someone unique and different; someone beyond the pale.
My current gf impressed the hell out of me on our first date by paying for the tab. When I asked her what she was doing she just said "I have money. Why should you have to pay? Because you're a man?" At that point I knew I found a keeper.
My gf before that made it very clear that she was appreciative of me footing the bill for the meal on the first date by saying "Thank you so much for the meal. Lets get some drinks. This ones on me." I don't want some child to take care of -- i want an equal.
What makes me lose interest in a girl is when she treats a date like a meal ticket and makes me feel like she does this all the time. "Oh well, another Thursday another date. At least I'll get a nice meal out of it." And ya, thats what discerning, high value guys think when a chick just struts away nonchalantly when its time to pay up. Whether they admit it or not, we all say under our breath "what a cunt". |
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Kaypea
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Greyjoy wrote: |
| Ruby Thursday wrote: |
Except for the lunch/dinner part. The 1st date is a feeling out process. It SHOULD be dutch. You do realize that for every one of you, there are 5 girls who are just freeloaders right? It has nothing to do with how interested you are in a chick. IMO some tool who eagerly pulls out his wallet in the hopes of impressing a girl is someone most quality females wouldn't want. He would fit into the expensive car with no assets category.
Any girl that expects me to pay for everything on a date simply isn't worth it. Cheapness isn't gender specific. It's a two way street. My big red frag. |
Am I the only one who feels that if you ask someone else out, you should be prepared to foot the bill? It's not a gender issue.
It's nice if she wants to split it, but treating a person to a meal is a good way to show you're interested. You're overthinking gender roles. |
I think if the person asks the other person out on a proper date, that person should be prepared to pay, especially if it's a first date.
By "proper date" I guess I mean evening, and somewhere that doesn't have a kid's meal that comes with a plastic toy.
It actually really turns me on if the guy pays. hehe. |
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sadguy
Joined: 13 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:02 pm Post subject: |
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women want a man that make them feel feminine. having their dinner paid for partly makes them feel that way. it's an old fashioned thing that still carries on today.
women might say they are/should be equal to men but in the end, they want a masculine man that makes them feel feminine. |
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Ruby Thursday
Joined: 29 Jun 2011
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Kaypea wrote: |
It actually really turns me on if the guy pays. hehe. |
I feel bad for the sorry sap who actually "buys" into this bs, |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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Red Flag: Anyone who makes a big deal one way or the other about the tab.
Go Dutch. Go Man Pay. Go Woman Pay.
Just don't have a conniption over it.
"She wants me to pay? What an old-fashioned hag!"
"He went dutch on the first date? Worse than Hitler!" |
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