Korean Job Discussion Forums

[rainism]

well I've finally plunged into the world of online dating forums.

I have a serious question that I've been wondering about as I have a conundrum on my hands.

what do you do when a woman (or a man for that matter for you gays and ladies out there) writes you and or expresses "interest" in you, but you know after one look at the profile picture that there's simply a complete lack of interest on your part?

there are essentially 2 options.

1) the most common and the most ovious is IGNORE

2 however.. there's a part of me that thinks if someone, ANYONE has actually made the time and the effort to write to me, or somehow respond to me. the honorable thing to do is to answer.

and then you'd have to think of a very gentle way of saying thanks for taking the time to contact me, but I simply don't think we're a good match for each other.

or something like that..

that's the difficult part. How to you express in a sincere way, a thank you while being honest and stating that's there's no interest on your part?

is this too convoluted and am I being too stupid about this.. and should just stick to #1 which is what everyone else does?

[2i2dk1ny2i3]

ah dude...sticky situation

online dating offers people A LOT more opportunity to hide and at the same time offers mystery (good or bad)

if it was me, it depends on the following:

1. how long have you been talking or know each other?...less than a few months, you can just kinda disappear or tell her your busy, and eventually, she should get the hint (this is polite)

2. more than a few months, you can't just disappear or ignore her completely just because now you find out she's ugly or not your type or met up to what your expectations were of her in your head...the main reason you talked w/her all these months is beyond looks, you connected emotionally and your personalities matched...you have to find a way to break it to her in the most honest way you think would be acceptable


Online Dating works for a rare few, while the most of us find the pits and downfalls of it...i know a few that actually dated had good relationships, few who even got married and there are the horror stories...

[rainism]

no no. This is complete beginner stage.

I just joined/posted a profile. Received some responses.

am wondering whether to ignore the one's I'm not interested in (yes shallow, but it works the same way for the girl who aren't interested in you)

there's a strong part of me that likes being different and honorable and respond to everyone, period. I'm just trying to think of a sincere and honest way to say thanks for taking the time, but we're not really a good "match".

I remember how this used to happen to me when younger and I was always put in the "friend zone" by girls I was interested in.

I like you as a friend.

should I respond in similar manner? "hey, thanks for taking the time to write me. Let's be friends!

[2i2dk1ny2i3]

[rainism]

actually, believe it or not. I've found it INFINITELY easier to have female friends as I've grown older..

They're either married or taken, which conveniently takes them off the market and I definitely don't cross those boundaries voluntarily) or I'm simply not interested in them, and perhaps vice versa which actually makes hetero "friendship" quite possible and viable.

hetero friendships only become problematic if/when one of the friends develops romantic feelings for the other and the feeling isn't mutual.

[Zyzyfer]

That's awfully nice of you and all to want to be honorable, but just ignore it.

[FaceFaceFace]

Thank them for writing to you and firmly but nicely say you are not interested. It's just like ripping a bandaid off, and everyone knows where they stand and there is less mess and fuss.

Example: Hi ---------, thanks for getting in touch with me! I am not interested, however. Good luck in your search. Regards, -----------

[Feloria]

It sounds like she was interested in what your qualities were based on what you put in your profile, and maybe your appearance--I don't know.
You don't know her; she doesn't know you.
Believe it or not-- as a woman, I think the best thing to do is just ignore it. If you respond with "thanks I'm not interested", then she'll probably know it's because of her appearance. That could make her feel even worse.
Also as crass as it sounds, ignoring is part of the process.
Of course it depends on what you are looking for--do you want a romantic relationship for sure, or are you looking for friendship as well?
If you are looking for new friends and she seems cool, contact her and meet as friends.
You sound like a nice guy
If you really have no interest whatsoever, the best thing to do is ignore it--even if it doesn't seem like it.
She'll move on!

[Gorf]

1. Remember that most people are just trawling for responses, you're probably not special

2. If you're not into them, I'm sure they won't think twice about why you never contacted them back. They forget they sent you a message 2 minutes after they send it.

[Feloria]

YUP!!

[premiummince]

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?t=1017090

Be a gentleman.