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[madoka]

A Southern California man stuck a butter knife into his belly in a failed bid at self-surgery to remove a painful hernia, police said Tuesday.

The wife of the 63-year-old Glendale man called 911 on Sunday night and told the emergency operator her husband was using a knife to remove a protruding hernia, Sgt. Tom Lorenz said.

"She said he had impaled himself with a knife," Lorenz said.

Officers found the man naked on a patio lounge chair outside his apartment with a 6-inch butter knife sticking out of his stomach.

The man's wife told officers that her husband was upset about the hernia and wanted to take it out.

While waiting for paramedics, the sergeant said, the man pulled out the knife and stuffed a cigarette he was smoking into the bleeding, open wound.

"What he was thinking, I don't know. I don't know if he was cauterizing it (the wound)," Lorenz said.

The man wasn't screaming or showing any signs of pain, the sergeant said.

Based on his actions and statements from the wife, Lorenz said the man was placed on psychiatric hold and taken to Los Angeles County-USC Medical Center.

Because he's on psychiatric hold for up to 72 hours under the state Welfare and Institutions Code, Lorenz said the man's name and condition cannot be released.

"You just never know what to expect," said Lorenz, who has been on the police force for 29 years. "I've seen self-mutilation, but not a maneuver like this."

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He was probably one of those soft, pansy punks so common these days. Why back in my day, all we had to remove our hernias were discarded melon ballers. And they were rusty, so we'd have to rub kimchi on them to sanitize them as it is a very healthy food. "Surgery kimchi" we called it. We saved our butter knives for circumcisions.

And a lit cigarette for cauterization? We didn't have such fancy gizmos. We'd stuff our open wounds with dried leaves and old newspaper. Then we'd twirl a stick over the kindling until it caught fire. Why I had to twirl that stick into my open wound for hours on end and we liked it that way.

[hojuhanguk]

[jonbowman88]

Someones watching too much House

[Zackback]

Someone who has no health insurance.
Time to take matters into your own hands.