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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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 Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 5:54 am Post subject: Re: Foreigner Friends |
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| DanseurVertical wrote: |
| northway wrote: |
| I live in Anyang and I haven't had this problem in the least. |
I judge we're rather different people, but this isn't the first time I've heard a description of the Anyang foreigner crowd similar to what I told. What does that say? I'm not sure. I'm not very outgoing, but if someone offers me contact information or invites me to most anything, I'll accept and come along with interest.
So if your social experience moving to this area was so different from mine, tell us how. You were the only foreign teacher at your school, knew no one else in Korea, and the foreigners in our area welcomed you with open arms? I ask because that's what your response suggests. |
Sorry, I misread your post to say that Koreans were unfriendly towards foreigners. Anyang's foreigners can be a bit cliquey, myself included. Aside from being cliquey though, I'm not going to go out of my way to talk to random foreigners on the street. I have a life here which I'm pretty happy with, and I'm not in a place that I need new friends. As such, I have little incentive to go around asking random people to hang out. Even if someone comes up to me on the street and wants to be friends, I'm probably not going to be too gung ho about the idea. And yeah, it can be pretty rough if you're the only foreigner at your school, particularly if you don't drink much.
That said, if you do want to make friends in the area, there are some bar options that don't involve getting absolutely shitfaced. For one, as much as I can't stand Happidus, I've found trivia night (Thursday, I believe) to be a time you can roll in solo, join a trivia group, and make some friends. They also recently started a wing night mirroring those you find in Itaewon, 5,000 for 10 wings on Tuesdays. Generally speaking, bars are the easiest places to make friends when you first get here, which can be difficult if drinking isn't really your thing. |
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myenglishisno
Joined: 08 Mar 2011
Location: Geumchon
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| Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 6:37 am Post subject: Re: Foreigner Friends |
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| DanseurVertical wrote: |
| northway wrote: |
| I live in Anyang and I haven't had this problem in the least. |
I judge we're rather different people, but this isn't the first time I've heard a description of the Anyang foreigner crowd similar to what I told. What does that say? I'm not sure. I'm not very outgoing, but if someone offers me contact information or invites me to most anything, I'll accept and come along with interest.
So if your social experience moving to this area was so different from mine, tell us how. You were the only foreign teacher at your school, knew no one else in Korea, and the foreigners in our area welcomed you with open arms? I ask because that's what your response suggests. |
I work in an office with quite a few foreigners. We get along on the surface but I get the feeling there is a ton of secret hate. Well, it's not so much a feeling as it is a fact and I know that I'm not well liked either. It's mainly because we all rub each other the wrong way... especially me.
What it comes down to is, would you hang out with just anyone back home? No? Well, most foreigners here are 'just anyone'. You have to meet quite a few of them before you meet someone that is worthwhile.
My problem is that I find most of the foreigners here to have absolutely nothing in common with me at all. I can't even relate to them on even the most basic level. We have different interests, different beliefs and different ways of doing things. My friends back home and my coworkers here are so radically different.
I'm used to really open/friendly people that smooth out problems by talking about them. I'm used to people that are easy to read and comfortable to be around. Most of the foreigners I meet seem to be extremely cliquey, curt on the surface and really catty underneath. These kinds of people probably existed back home too but I avoided them. Here you can't pick and choose.
Everyone is different I guess. I find the cultural gap between myself and my foreign co-workers (mostly Yanks) often feels larger than the gap between myself and Koreans. Especially when we touch on our belief systems and views.
One thing I will say is that foreigners in Korea seem to be a lot more epicurean though. They don't seem to like to form real bonds or do anything productive. With most people, it's just drink, drink and drink some more.
Anyway, point is, you have to really put yourself out there to meet people that are meant for you. Just like everywhere.
The only thing foreigners have in common with each other is that they have a BA and they don't mind/like living overseas. |
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weebil
Joined: 24 May 2009
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| Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 5:29 am Post subject: |
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| when you realize that having friends is not important and stop making it a goal, your life will be 100000x better. |
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TNizzle
Joined: 19 Nov 2009
Location: Seoul via: Indiana
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| Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 1:13 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, I just recently came back to Korea (been gone 9 months) and every single one of my friends from last year has since left.
It sucks making new friends all the time, and everyone is always coming and going.
If anyone wants to hang out, I'm all for it. Send me a PM |
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alice_w
Joined: 10 Aug 2011
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| Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 6:45 pm Post subject: |
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@ hello123 -- I just wanted to check and see how you're going? Have you had any luck meeting other foreginers in your area? When you made your first post several weeks ago, you sounded pretty down. Are things looking up?
I can't PM you, as I haven't made enough posts on this site, but if you need someone to talk to, by all means email me: [email protected]
I will be back in Korea (in Yongin) come this weekend and would be happy to meet up with you if you just need someone to talk to. I'm not a suitable drinking buddy, as I'm 34, married with two kids, but I know what it's like to feel lonely in Korea. I was in your shoes back in 2003.
Best of luck! |
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DanseurVertical
Joined: 24 Nov 2010
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| Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 8:08 am Post subject: Re: Foreigner Friends |
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| myenglishisno wrote: |
What it comes down to is, would you hang out with just anyone back home? No? Well, most foreigners here are 'just anyone'. You have to meet quite a few of them before you meet someone that is worthwhile.
My problem is that I find most of the foreigners here to have absolutely nothing in common with me at all. I can't even relate to them on even the most basic level. We have different interests, different beliefs and different ways of doing things. My friends back home and my coworkers here are so radically different.
I'm used to really open/friendly people that smooth out problems by talking about them. I'm used to people that are easy to read and comfortable to be around. Most of the foreigners I meet seem to be extremely cliquey, curt on the surface and really catty underneath. These kinds of people probably existed back home too but I avoided them. Here you can't pick and choose. |
A general trend among foreign teachers I meet is a tendency towards crude pleasures (drink + Korean women on the basis of physical appearance), very little concern for others who aren't somehow closely related to them, and laziness. Sometimes there's a notable exception, usually a teacher who has lived here for multiple years, but time and again, the foreigners I meet reinforce this.
When I came to Korea I was psyched at the opportunity to meet native English speakers from outside North America, but not much luck. Well, have met some, but like most new meetings here, they did not lead to friendship of any substance.
| Quote: |
| Everyone is different I guess. I find the cultural gap between myself and my foreign co-workers (mostly Yanks) often feels larger than the gap between myself and Koreans. Especially when we touch on our belief systems and views. |
About the cultural gap, I feel about equally estranged to native Koreans as to North Americans. On the basis of ethic / aesthetic values, I've had ultimately negative exchanges with both Koreans and North Americans. And in a few cases, ultimately positive exchanges as well.
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| One thing I will say is that foreigners in Korea seem to be a lot more epicurean though. They don't seem to like to form real bonds or do anything productive. With most people, it's just drink, drink and drink some more. |
I kind of hate it how old Greek terms are used nowadays, but know what you mean. I don't really understand what motivates their lives. There's no open rebellion, no creation, just escape. |
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DanseurVertical
Joined: 24 Nov 2010
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| Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 8:48 am Post subject: |
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It's been some time since he posted, but I'm now a little confused about the original poster's situation. He has little inhibition to visit unfamiliar bars alone, and drink in the midst of only Koreans, yet for some reason he cannot meet other foreigners? I don't understand that at all.
For me, meeting native Koreans and foreigners is easy, but I have practically nothing in common with other foreigners I meet, and those native Koreans whose attitudes and beliefs are like my own also speak very little English or else live 90+ minutes from where I do. So making plans and actually doing things with them is difficult.
My social life in Korea has become not significantly unlike what the OP describes, but it seems to be for different reasons. |
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