| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Swampfox10mm
Joined: 24 Mar 2011
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 3:50 pm Post subject: Most Korean wives control the money |
|
|
Funny how much this article seems to center around cheating as the big reason why:
http://english.chosun.com/site/data/html_dir/2011/06/06/2011060600320.html
I will say that Korean women DO hide money. My wife changed jobs and neglected to tell me her pay had gone up 700,000 per month until I asked to see her pay stub. Haha. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Joe Boxer

Joined: 25 Dec 2007 Location: Bundang, South Korea
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 5:23 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I don't know how any guy would ever let his wife be in charge of the money. I've worked with guys that get a goddam allowance from their wives!
It's common for the Korean wife to be in charge, though, and I know there are plenty of guys on this board that are ok with it. Their reason/defense is that "the wife is a wiz with investments", or "less headaches for me".
Screw that. Even at the risk of running our financial ship into the ground, I'm in charge (although that may explain why our "financial ship" is a dinghy)
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
redaxe
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 5:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| And what the wives do with the money is they buy up apartments and play landlord, that is if they're upper-middle class. If they're lower-middle class they invest in opening up a small restaurant or a food cart to work at. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
carleverson
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 6:01 pm Post subject: |
|
|
My wife controls our money simply because I don't speak, read, write Korean very well to pay bills, etc.
When we move to the US, I'll probably be in charge for the same reason. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Kennyftw
Joined: 08 Aug 2011
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:41 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| carleverson wrote: |
My wife controls our money simply because I don't speak, read, write Korean very well to pay bills, etc.
When we move to the US, I'll probably be in charge for the same reason. |
BINGO!
But change "probably" in your last sentence to WILL and I agree with you 100% |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Joe Boxer

Joined: 25 Dec 2007 Location: Bundang, South Korea
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Kennyftw wrote: |
| carleverson wrote: |
My wife controls our money simply because I don't speak, read, write Korean very well to pay bills, etc.
When we move to the US, I'll probably be in charge for the same reason. |
BINGO!
But change "probably" in your last sentence to WILL and I agree with you 100% |
Bingo?
If you can't speak/read Korean, get your wife to set-up automatic bill withdrawl from your "bills" account, and always keep a couple extra mil in there. It's super-convenient. And if you're concerned about being over-charged, your wife can look-over the bills each month.
Then have a ma(i)n account for savings. And be in charge of it.
BINGO, mofo!  |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Pa Jan Jo A Hamnida
Joined: 27 Oct 2006 Location: Not Korea
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Years ago the topic came up in my ajumma class and every single one said they had a secret account. This account was a failsafe to a failed marriage. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Swampfox10mm
Joined: 24 Mar 2011
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:23 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Joe Boxer wrote: |
I don't know how any guy would ever let his wife be in charge of the money. I've worked with guys that get a goddam allowance from their wives!
|
Yeah, I read far too many sob stories about foreigners divorcing their wives and getting NOTHING at all because the wife had all of the money. And also read stories over the years about foreigners who wanted to divorce, but had NOTHING because their wives had them by the financial balls despite years of toiling away at Korean schools.
I've argued for the split finances way of doing things for years, and she knows there is no way in hell it's going to be otherwise. You have to put your foot down early, or you can pretty much kiss any say-so in your relationship goodbye.
I'm lucky in that my wife isn't bad with money. She does tend to spend more than I'd like on food and such, opting more for convenience than savings, but she works hard, so I try not to complain too much about that.
We show each other our base income once and a while, and I send her a chunk of mine via automatic withdrawl. This covers my part of the housing and child expenses. Her expenses are similar, but tend to cover more food and eating out when we eat together. You know, her female coworkers balked about it, and said I'm nothing more than a roommate if she can't control the money. They can stuff it -- the more I can avoid being like a Korean man, the better. I also don't come home drunk at 4am after a night in room salons.
She also earns nearly double my base now, so I expect that she is socking away some money. I asked her about that once and she got very defensive/upset, and after saying she wasn't, demanded that I never ask her about that again. In any case, she deserves to keep some for as much as she makes, and I know she's probably going to give that to our children some day anyway, so it doesn't bother me if it's true or not.
Besides, she now gets one of those company-paid "chaebol credit cards" for dining-out, which means I can meet her for lunch once a week, and we eat something expensive like a big buffet or whatnot!  |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
ThingsComeAround

Joined: 07 Nov 2008
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Swampfox10mm wrote: |
She also earns nearly double my base now, so I expect that she is socking away some money. I asked her about that once and she got very defensive/upset, and after saying she wasn't, demanded that I never ask her about that again. In any case, she deserves to keep some for as much as she makes, and I know she's probably going to give that to our children some day anyway, so it doesn't bother me if it's true or not.
|
Its that attitude which disappoints me regarding Korean females.
Crying, bitching/moaning, and getting defensive is not a healthy response to a simple important question (my gf does the same thing). She wants to track your finances without allowing you to know hers- this is completely one-sided and selfish. That is the reason why my future wife will not control my money. I'm not going to let her tell me what I can or cannot go out with, because there isn't any reciprocation.
I understand your wife may use the cash she hides from you for children, but every woman is not the same. Some women spend it on themselves and expect the man to pick up the tab for ALL family expenses.
Don't let your woman pull the wool over your eyes with tears and pouts. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
jvalmer

Joined: 06 Jun 2003
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:39 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Best thing to do is keep your account in your home country open and sock away some money in it. If things go sour (or your K-bank goes bankrupt, etc.) your K-spouse will have limited resources to access your money and you'll have control over it. Don't keep all your eggs in one basket. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
big_fella1
Joined: 08 Dec 2005
|
Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 1:21 am Post subject: |
|
|
I don�t speak or write Korean well but i have been paying the bills for over 5 years. My wife recently suggested again she should control the money, I said go ahead but I will only work 1 job. She lost interest. I know the other adjumas give her grief about this but I earn it, I want a say in what happens to it.
I don't understand why non working women control the finances. If you want to see why this is a bad idea, visit Gangnam. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
litebear
Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Location: Holland
|
Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 1:54 am Post subject: |
|
|
She earns more than I do, quite a bit more but she pays the rent which is really high, and I pay the bills. Then we just stick a certain amount each into a joint account we both have a card for and use that for eating out and groceries.
We also stick another agreed amount into a savings account (not alot, tbf).
Other than that the remaining money we have is our own to do with what we see fit. Gives us both a bit of financial independce. (We don't have kids though which makes all this possible) |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Steelrails

Joined: 12 Mar 2009 Location: Earth, Solar System
|
Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 3:40 am Post subject: |
|
|
| If one partner is more financially astute and more disciplined with money, I see nothing wrong with that partner assuming greater financial control, husband or wife. Use each others strengths of character to better you all as a whole. No reason to be pigheaded and say you should run things just because you are the man/woman. So what if one of you focuses on the money. The other focuses on something else. Finances are a key part of your family, but so are child-rearing, family morale, chores, emotional support, political education, etc. But do divide such responsibilities in a sensible manner. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
|
Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 3:46 am Post subject: |
|
|
The principal of my school keeps her husband on an allowance. She was shocked when he somehow saved up enough over the course of many months to buy himself a new motorcycle. Citing breach of contract, she made him return it.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
DaHu
Joined: 09 Feb 2011
|
Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| It's great to demand to see your wife's pay stub. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
|