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WhyKimchi
Joined: 14 Aug 2011
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 Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:52 am Post subject: Keeping in contact with students |
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I teach ESL in South Korea, and this is the first time that I've ever been out of the USA. One thing that I have noticed is that as a foreigner I receive a LOT of attention, especially from young girls. One group I am teaching in particular are high school students ages 17 and 18. A few of the female students take it upon themselves to try to snap pictures of me with them holding my arms and they even ask me to be friends with them on Facebook.
What do I do? What's acceptable behavior in SK between students and teachers? If they want a hug can I give them one? Can we be FB friends? I don't want to date or sleep with ANY students... I'd feel really bad about that. But how often does a simple hug or friendship turn into accusations that are simply untrue?
These new social standards I have to accept for the next year are unclear to me... I was shocked the other day when a male student ran up to me and hugged me. |
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Kennyftw
Joined: 08 Aug 2011
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:31 am Post subject: |
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KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL!
They are in high school, therefore, no hugs, phone number is ok ONLY for school-related things. Pictures are ok, but not with them hanging all over you. And FB friends...I wouldn't even touch that with a ten foot pole.
No further advice needed. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:20 am Post subject: |
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| Kennyftw wrote: |
KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL!
They are in high school, therefore, no hugs, phone number is ok ONLY for school-related things. Pictures are ok, but not with them hanging all over you. And FB friends...I wouldn't even touch that with a ten foot pole.
No further advice needed. |
You could use a FB group to discuss class projects your group comes up with. That would work but it would need to be restricted to project talk only.
Avoid hugging students for the most part.
Be wary of what type of pictures are taken. You with your entire class is cool. You with two of your female students leaning on your shoulders is potential catastrophe for you.
Use your common sense...it ain`t that complicated. |
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Hootsmon
Joined: 22 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 8:23 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, just to echo the folks above...use your common sense and keep it professional. It is normal for some Korean teachers to be very close to their students, to give out phone numbers and become facebook friends, and even hang out together outside of the classroom. However, in most cases that I've heard about this, it's female students with female teachers.
You're clearly new in the country, don't make problems for yourself. You might do it completely innocently, and even the student might be innocent, but all it takes is the overactive imagination of one parent to raise questions. If students want to take a photo with you, and you don't mind it, fold your arms, or clasp them in front of you in view, to make it clear you're not doing anything naughty with your hands. However, I think if you make sure you maintain a cool, professional demeanour with your students, they'll also begin to act the same way.
I've not taught high school students, but I have and do teach university students, and have had similar issues before. I've always just told them that the university doesn't want me to maintain any private friendships with any students outside the classroom, so no phone number or facebook or whatever, and that's always been good enough for them.
So, to repeat what I've said and others again for simplicity...no facebook friendships, be very careful about what photos you allow yourself to be in, and don't be hugging those girls! |
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Zackback
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:43 pm Post subject: |
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| In terms of the high school girls doing that just keep it clean. Wait until they graduate then make your move. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Hootsmon wrote: |
Yeah, just to echo the folks above...use your common sense and keep it professional. It is normal for some Korean teachers to be very close to their students, to give out phone numbers and become facebook friends, and even hang out together outside of the classroom. However, in most cases that I've heard about this, it's female students with female teachers.
You're clearly new in the country, don't make problems for yourself. You might do it completely innocently, and even the student might be innocent, but all it takes is the overactive imagination of one parent to raise questions. If students want to take a photo with you, and you don't mind it, fold your arms, or clasp them in front of you in view, to make it clear you're not doing anything naughty with your hands. However, I think if you make sure you maintain a cool, professional demeanour with your students, they'll also begin to act the same way.
I've not taught high school students, but I have and do teach university students, and have had similar issues before. I've always just told them that the university doesn't want me to maintain any private friendships with any students outside the classroom, so no phone number or facebook or whatever, and that's always been good enough for them.
So, to repeat what I've said and others again for simplicity...no facebook friendships, be very careful about what photos you allow yourself to be in, and don't be hugging those girls! |
This. I teach high school as well, and have encountered somewhat of the same problems. I had 3 or 4 even try to get me to invite them to my apartment. I put the kybosh on that pretty darn quick. And the same for my phone number and FB address. The total extent of anything outside of school (should I met them on the street...it's a town of about 3000 people) is a cool "Hi". That's it.
Stick to a professional cool demeanor (as the above poster said) and under no circumstances allow FB friendships, hugs or photos with 1-2 students. |
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oldtrafford
Joined: 12 Jan 2011
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:39 pm Post subject: |
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I teach ESL in South Korea,
No you don't op, you teach EFL!!! |
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WhyKimchi
Joined: 14 Aug 2011
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:16 pm Post subject: |
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I appreciate everyone's replies. I need to keep it all professional while I am still their teacher. Once they graduate or leave school, we can be friends.
This all makes sense. I was just unclear as to whether or not Korean culture treats the student-teacher relationship differently than how we do back in the USA.
| oldtrafford wrote: |
I teach ESL in South Korea,
No you don't op, you teach EFL!!! |
You are correct. I have a bad habit of using ESL as an umbrella term. |
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akcrono
Joined: 11 Mar 2010
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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| oldtrafford wrote: |
I teach ESL in South Korea,
No you don't op, you teach EFL!!! |
Actually, since you are referring to the term "original poster", an abbreviation, you should have used "O.P." with capital letters. |
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shapeshifter
Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Location: Paris
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| Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 12:06 am Post subject: |
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| akcrono wrote: |
| oldtrafford wrote: |
I teach ESL in South Korea,
No you don't op, you teach EFL!!! |
Actually, since you are referring to the term "original poster", an abbreviation, you should have used "O.P." with capital letters. |
There are also significant punctuation problems with that "sentence", which is particularly unfortunate given that it's only 7 words long.
Glass houses...stones..... |
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wishfullthinkng
Joined: 05 Mar 2010
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| Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 12:12 am Post subject: |
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| Zackback wrote: |
| In terms of the high school girls doing that just keep it clean. Wait until they graduate then make your move. |
^ under no cirumstances should you listen to this guy.
you are an adult and should be dating adults. no matter what anyone thinks, almost all high school students in korea are just giant children, especially the ones who are giggling around you and taking pictures to show their girlfriends.
for some the fact that it's so frowned upon is their motive for going after these tykes, but for the rest of the people who like normal functioning relationships there are plenty of people out there who didn't just get done watching dora the explorer.
plus as they say, don't $hit where you eat. |
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Malislamusrex
Joined: 01 Feb 2010
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| Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 12:26 am Post subject: |
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I've had a 19 year old girl I only knew a week suggest she would come over to my house at 11pm because I was sick. She worked in Dunkin Doughnuts ans said she would bring me a donkasu, doughnuts and other goodies.
I wasn't thinking at the time I was sick and hungry, to this day it puzzles me why she came over... she must have known it was dangerous to come to a grown man's house at 11pm.
Bottom line is she is a kid, you are an adult just don't get involved in anyway shape or form. Getting involved will cloud your judgement and it would be a mistake, I'm sure if we hung out enough I could convince myself she was 'in to me' but she was just brining me food because I was sick..... I think.
Bottom line 2. don't let it start with a hug or facebook friends or anything.... it's better to stop things at source because you have to worry about how the kids think of you aswell. |
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Zackback
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk
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| Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 12:39 am Post subject: |
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| When they graduate (20 years old) that IS an adult. |
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wishfullthinkng
Joined: 05 Mar 2010
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| Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:15 am Post subject: |
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| Zackback wrote: |
| When they graduate (20 years old) that IS an adult. |
perhaps by a standardized idea of when a persons age as a number qualifies them as an adult and at what point their bodies have matured to the point where they do not grow anymore, yes. mentally most people at 20 are absolutely not adults, especially in korea.
i'm not sure if you read my post carefully but it said "no matter what anyone thinks, almost all high school students in korea are just giant children, especially the ones who are giggling around you and taking pictures to show their girlfriends." and you are dead wrong, no matter what you think.
most of these kids have never been out of the country to experience life at all, had a job, had a good lay, or many of the other things that changes us into true adults. you definitely are covered in a shroud of denial. |
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Zackback
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk
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| Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:45 am Post subject: |
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Don't like it? Change the law.
Until then it is what it is. |
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