Korean Job Discussion Forums

[elculbr]

Hello,

It is difficult to meet other western women in Seoul. (I'm 23 from Miami, Florida.) I'm normally out going, but Korea is a difficult nut to crack. I'm about to leave Korea, mainly for lack of friends. But when I was actively looking for friends, it was hard to find Western women. I rarely see any out and about. I'm the only foreigner in my neighborhood, so I had a lonely time in Korea, as Koreans are difficult to interact with (being black doesn't help me, I'm sure.)

Last week I saw 2 American women at a stationary shop near my apartment. I was so happy. I ran up to them like PLEASE BE MY FRIEND. They are missionaries in my area. I'm glad to have met them. We had dinner a few times.

But for Western women on the board, how do you meet friends? It would have been nice to have a group of girlfriends to hang out with in my area. To have someone to eat dinner with after work, instead having every meal alone in my room. It would have been nice to have someone to relate to in the flesh, who got where I was coming from over a drink after work...

This forum is very male dominated. Most threads come from a male experience in Korea perspective. I would like a thread for the Western women-however few-to discuss tips on making the social scene in Korea a little easier. When other young women come to Korea, they won't have to struggle in vain, like I did.

[FaceFaceFace]

Hey, cool thread.

I'm sorry about your experience of being lonely in Korea and that you are leaving (because of it???).

My situation sounds a little different to yours in that I have seen other foreigner women out and about but they have mostly been with their boyfriends, or in pairs and I feel shy about approaching them.

I am also a little gun-shy after approaching some foreigners and being basically told to go away....their attitude was rude and abrupt. I'm not saying I walked up to them, tapped them on the shoulder and asked them to be my friend (hahahha), no--I merely asked a simple question (eg--where is...?) and got this crappy attitude.

I have smiled at people and whether they want to smile back or be a jerk is up to them.
That being said, I met a nice lady on the bus. She sat next to me and we started talking and became friends that way!

I haven't hit upon a good way to meet other people....but then, I don't like alcohol, am not into clubs, and am a bit of a loner by nature anyway

Sorry, that doesn't really help does it??

[elculbr]

Thanks for the response, FaceFaceFace. I live in a suburb in western Seoul. And I never see foreigners here. I had some friends I could hang with on the weekends (met up in Sinchon, Hongdae, Itaewan), but most of them left Korea by now. I figured with even them gone, it was time for me to go to.

While my experience here has been overwhelmingly negative, I would not say it was a waste of time. I came here at 22, a wide-eyed college graduate. I'm 23 now and more mature, and a little more jaded. In my isolation and loneliness, I grew more spiritual and more grounded in my faith.

I know what you mean about foreigners being rude here. Everyone is rude here. Koreans are even worse. I need to live in a more civilized country. I'm happy you met someone on the bus.

I see you're in Australia! I just got a visa for Australia. I'm moving there in 2 weeks. I'm really excited. My goal is to work in a bakery and sell my art work on the side, or do art full time. We shall see...

[ulanalee]

I dont have any advice really (as I am a newbiw here), but I am really interested in following this thread.
I am worried I'll be in a similar situation as you in a few months. I'm 22 and new to Seoul. So far I've only seen male foreigners in my neighborhood. When I've gone to different areas I have seen some foreign woman, but like the previous poster said they have all been with their boyfriends. I wouldn't be shy about approaching foreign women if they were in a group together, but I feel like I might be intruding if I were to walk up to a male/female couple.
I've joined a few groups on meetup.com ... one being a knitting collective, so I'll probably meet some women through there. Other than that I'm stumped since I'm not even sure where western woman hang out at in Seoul.

[jjurabong]

Even more difficult situation here, being a 41-year old. Lots of Western guy friends but not many women of my age group. Would love to do a dinner or drinks meetup sometime.

[elculbr]

Maybe we could all meet up? Next weekend is my last weekend in Korea! I live at Hwagok station on line 5. I'd love to just chill and do things, if anyone is up for it.

[Modernist]

[glassandshells]

why do you think there is such an imbalance?? based on what i've heard from others, it seems like many female foreigners are there with their partners. maybe it's naive of me, but i expect i'll have more fun and meet more people as a single woman. i know a young couple there now, and they can hardly tell me a thing about the nightlife. they're content to just stay at home for the most part. i'd think that being single, male or female, would be more reason to go out and experience new things, maybe meet some people along the way...

[Vix]

Sorry to hear your not having much luck finding friends. I'm a girl and somehow most of my friends are men now. A lot of the girls here can be very snobby about groups, well in my area anyway. I can't really be bothered with that attitude. Most of my friends at home were men now that I think about it. If I lived near you I would have been your friend!

[sallymonster]

I also had some trouble at first making friends in Korea. I'm nerdy and socially awkward by nature. I remember going to bars in Suwon and trying to talk to people only to get weird looks, for the most part. The people at The Big Chill near Hwaseong Fortress were especially cliquey and didn't seem to care to meet others (that bar was great in all other ways, however, and the social scene may have changed since then). I did meet one friend at Now Bar in Yeongtong, and we're still friends today.

I ended up finding Meetup.com and started joining groups in Seoul and going to events. I found that a lot of the people that go to the meetups were the kind of people who actually want to meet others. 3 months after coming to Korea, I took over one of the meetup groups when the last organizer abruptly quit. Now I get to meet new people all the time, through the events I organize.

I'm also one of those women who has more men friends than women friends. Also, for some reason, I seem to get along better with Korean women than Western women. Don't ask me why that is.

For anyone in the Seoul area who is feeling lonely, these are the links to my meetup group:

http://www.meetup.com/lost-in-seoul/

http://www.facebook.com/lostinseoul

[elculbr]

Remember this is a thread about ideas for western women in general. I'm using my experience as a platform for conversation about a little discussed topic.

Although I'm happy to leave Korea, I still feel regret. I wanted to make it work. Sometimes I think maybe I didn't try hard enough, maybe if I did this or that or something else. I have grown to dislike Korea. I don't want to leave on a sour note. I tried, I really did. I wanted to live abroad and have wonderful experiences. Now I don't know if I'm capable of living abroad. I'm going to try another country. Maybe it was just an isolated event...? I'm polite, I dress well, I'm pretty. I was open-minded. I can't believe this Korea thing was such an utter failure. Living here was like scratching at stone with my bare hands, trying to carve out a meager existence. It's no way to live.

Up thread it was said that women are catty about their groups. If it is true perhaps its a symptom of the isolation?. Being protective of the group that one worked so hard to find and be accepted in? It makes sense.


So let's discuss ideas:
One woman I know joined a church in Itaewan to make friends. It was a mix of people, but once again mostly Koreans.

[rambler]

Have you tried engaging in activities other ladies love? Like pillow fighting?
Watching Sex in the City?

J/K. My wife is having a hard time making lady friends, too. It's been 6 months and she is just now making buddies.

[ssuprnova]

Interesting thread! My ex co-worker had the same problem and she ended up hanging out with guys all the time. Also a good friend of mine has been in Korea for a few months now and her only complaint about the whole experience is not being able to make friends with girls. She ends up traveling a lot on the weekends and we hang out when there's time.

Beside those two girls the other Western females I've met here were incredibly cliquey: most of them work at big chain hagwons that have a lot of NETs.

[elculbr]

I'm thinking the solution to all of this is to only work at big chain hagwons that have a load of other female teachers.

[ThingsComeAround]

Making friends is dependent on how active you are.

Even if you take a private class, its something you can talk to others about, and that is what will make people want to hang out with you.

Get out, do something! Jog/hike/drink (with people) but art is good too- so long as you actively go to art exhibits and there will be people there you can talk with, compare favorites, etc.

Get active, OP.