Korean Job Discussion Forums

[yellowdove]

I have had difficult bosses and supervisors in the past, demanding silly things like staying at work just to 'chat' when I have a doctor's appointment, but my supervisor at my school here takes the cake.

My issue with her is that she routinely forgets to tell us things, like when workbooks should be finished and sent home, what days we have things due, what her expectations are of us, etc., and then when do don't do these things, she gets angry. Very angry. She is quite an emotional woman, and when she gets upset, she gets upset. She blames us (my coworker and I), says that it is our responsbility to do these things, and that we are bad teachers. All because she forgets to tell us.

For example, the end of the semester is today for us, and our books for Kindergarten go home today that we've been working on. Since we started 6 months ago, we have each been using one book for our reading class. Today, she tells me that for my class I had two, and why haven't you been using it, and its your fault it hasn't been read, blah blah blah. My coworker had a workbook for his book, but at the beginning of the year she said that it was too difficult for them to use and not to worry about it. Today she got pretty much irate with him for not doing the workbook, and denied ever telling him to not do the books.

This is just today. She makes everyone (even the Korean coteachers) beyond frustrated, because she leaves out important details and dates and then when she asks where these things are, she gets mad at us.

My old school had some problems like this, but my old supervisor never got mad at me when she forgot to tell me things. What I want to know is a) is this as common in Korea as I think it is, b) how do I deal with this, and c) is it appropriate for me to go over her head and tell my director? I have talked to her many times about this issue, and many other things.

[koreatimes]

[yellowdove]

I've never been one to carry around a day planner or notebook, but that seems like it might work. She writes stuff down on a calendar for us, but sometimes she misses stuff, she writes stuff down and then it changes but she never changes it on the calendar, etc. If I keep my own personal one, maybe she will clue in that she needs to tell me things.

Another example, when we got to the school it was the end of Feb. Knowing how hagwons work, I asked when the school would be shut down for summer vacation. She told me the last week of July. The first week of July, I was showing a K-coteacher the hotel I was staying at for my travels. She asked when I was going, and I said the last week of July. She told me that the holiday had been moved to the first week in August, and was changed only a week ago. I confronted my supervisor about this, and she got angry with me for scheduling my holiday, even though it had been written on the calendar since probably the end of March. Now, I know that hagwons change things, but for her to get angry with me for scheduling my holiday is ridiculous. She told me when it was a long time ago, and knowing that I wanted a super nice holiday and that things were going to get booked fast (Jeju in peak season), I booked stuff early. We got it sorted, but that's the attitude she takes - she gets mad when its not my fault.

[Setaro]

[You]

Getting extremely emotionally upset? Never taking responsibility for doing something wrong and always having a 'everything is your fault' outlook?

Well, that sounds like my Korean boyfriend. Bless him.

[DaHu]

[yellowdove]

I know it's completely normal for Koreans to tell you things at the last minute. But the issue here is that we don't do anything wrong, she just forgets to tell us stuff, and then when we don't do it she gets super duper mad at us and doesn't forgive easily.

I'm going to talk to her on Monday, tell her how we feel. And if she refuses to see my point of view, or if she doesn't change, I'm going to see my director. Hopefully that will change things.

[Jotun_Symph]

I had a similar situation. My head teacher made an error on the schedule, and an entire book didn't get done, and 1) I had to get the students to do an entire book in a single day so it could be sent home, and 2) the head teacher blamed the mistake on someone else, when it was clearly her own fault (she was the only one that ever made the schedule). That's when I had my first ugly encounter with "saving face".

I would talk to the director, and try to get her ass demoted. Sounds vindictive, but that's just me. If more than two people complain about problems working with this person, the director should clearly see that it's not good business to have an incompetent person in charge.

[some waygug-in]

I think the day planner/ diary idea is your best route.

I wish you luck in dealing with Korean management, your meeting with the boss will probably do nothing but make you look like a whiner.

Not that you don't have valid complaints, but don't expect too much from higher ups.

The attitude they mostly have is for FT's to do what they are told and shut up.

[DaHu]

Yes, there is no reason to complain, this is completely normal.

Complaining will mean you don't like Korean culture and label you a troublemaker.

[happiness]

[Mr Lee's Monkey]

Jotun_Symph is relatively new to these boards and Korea. This isn't meant to be a personal attack, but there are already signs that he is the new PatrickGHBusan (in country) on Dave's. He asserts his opinion on these boards in some instances with an air of authority and arrogance, and insinuates a level of experience and awareness that exists only in his mind. Maybe he'll get lucky and not step in some of the crap that a lot of us who've been here for a while do, but it will be luck and nothing more that's in play - particularly with the current notion expressed in this thread. "Should" is the key word here - the director "should" clearly see - only in Jotun_Symph's mind. He isn't equipped to suggest what your director should see, and he's clearly bought into the us and them, safety in numbers mindset that creates so much grief for FT's in this country. His advice is short sighted, antagonistic, and based on an illusion which is unhealthy to harbor in Korea working among Koreans. I humbly suggest you take note, and then ignore it. Good Luck.

[yellowdove]

So now it's Monday morning, and here's what I did.

I bought a blank journal/calendar to write everything she says. I wrote all the dates in there this weekend, so that I won't have to worry about that later. I also bought a pen that I will wear around my neck, and I'm going to carry that journal and pen with me everywhere.

I mentioned the journal to her, but didn't blame her for our problems. Blaming her will just make her even more mad, because I'm sure that she doesn't see that any of this is her fault. I've told her my intentions, to write down everything she says, and if it doesn't go into the journal then I haven't heard of it and she cannot get angry with me. We had a 15 minute chat about stuff coming up, and I wrote everything down. She seemed happy about it, and was nice to me and my coteacher today.

I don't plan on going to my director, because honestly I don't think it would do any good. My supervisor would just make my life worse because I told on her.

There's the update. When I speak to new teachers, at my school or others, I will suggest to them the same thing I am now doing, getting a journal and writing down everything. It's a great idea, so thank you koreatimes, I plan on sharing that suggestion to everyone.