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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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DaHu
Joined: 09 Feb 2011
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 Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Died By Bear wrote: |
Dunno who you guys married, but my in-laws have always given a hefty envelope full of cash twice a year, chusok and New years. The cash varies from 200 to 800 $$ a pop. That's always a huge bonus.
This summer, when my MIL came to visit us in the states, she gave me 1000 cash to spend on whatever I want. She told me this was 'secret money' and not tell my wife about it. Imagine that! woo-hoo!! |
I'd use the cash to stay in a hotel during the visits. |
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chrisinkorea2011
Joined: 16 Jan 2011
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| Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 4:48 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with died by bear, apparently all the people who married korean women in this forum. save for a few, married koreans who do the boring things?
i visited my gf's family for the first time. (keep that in mind, first time to meet them) and a week before i even went there, her mom asked my gf what kind of food i like, what things i like to do, if i liked food cooked a certain way or style. We ate food (REALLY DAMN GOOD food too!) relaxed, they played 20 questions with me (which i expected) watched tv, then she made pizza later, and they asked me what i wanted to do and they when i said i want to see more korean culture of that area, they drove 30 minutes to this old fortress and explained everything to me about how the old style was. the next day i got many good compliments from the family on how handsome and innocent i looked, and well mannered i was.
Maybe you guys just arent doing it right? haha oh yeah my gf got lots of money too lol |
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DaHu
Joined: 09 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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| It's not surprising that people who marry Koreans say Korean food is good. |
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sojusucks
Joined: 31 May 2008
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| Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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| creeper1 wrote: |
| sojusucks wrote: |
| It's some time off. Other than that it seems to involve spending money and traveling to see people you'd rather avoid. If you are single you have to listen to many, many miserable people trapped in loveless sham marriages tell you to get married. |
Loveless shame marriages is what probably leads to many men getting massages and hand jobs in Anma or whatever they are.
It is also probably why I have heard about waygookin making love to married Korean women.
Dirty sods. |
Being in a loveless sham marriage with nonstop arguing is bad enough, but to actively encourage others to join you in a bad marriage doesn't make much sense. As for ajummas who demand that everyone get married, well, that's probably about having grandkids. |
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Weigookin74
Joined: 26 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:30 pm Post subject: |
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| creeper1 wrote: |
| sojusucks wrote: |
| It's some time off. Other than that it seems to involve spending money and traveling to see people you'd rather avoid. If you are single you have to listen to many, many miserable people trapped in loveless sham marriages tell you to get married. |
Loveless shame marriages is what probably leads to many men getting massages and hand jobs in Anma or whatever they are.
It is also probably why I have heard about waygookin making love to married Korean women.
Dirty sods. |
It's more than just that. Anmas are full contact. Also there are Hyu Gye Shil (resting rooms for travelers yeoja's included - full service), Kiss-eu bang (These are for kssing and hand jobs). Maybe a couple of hundred bucks, never been, but I assume you want some Korean language ability to try and a waxed middle finger to expose if they deny you as a foriegner. Ha ha. Some Korean friends have been filling me in on all the details of these things. If you do any of these things, dress up, be clean cut, and say you're a business traveller. Good luck.
Oh yeah, some really small towns (I mean really small) will have Yeo In Suk (I think). Traveller's rest stop. Sometimes gaurded by tough old ajummas. Much cheaper from what I've been told. Maybe 50 bucks. But frequently used. Do so at your own risk....
As for the loveless marriages, many of them are set ups. Traditionally, parents set people up. Family alliances, money, etc. Love didn't matter or occur to people. Sometimes why you'll see a really beautiful korean woman married to a dorky looking korean guy. I think it's changing for younger people, but there's this constant social pressure on Korean people. Families pressuring girls not to marry a "poor" English teacher. But many women doing it anyways nowadays, more like a western woman who wants to marry for love / attraction. |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:42 pm Post subject: |
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| jvalmer wrote: |
| Although I do predict ancestor worship Korea to go the way of the dodo in a couple of generations. So when the current generations of over 40-somethings croak, Chuseok and Seollal will become truly relaxing holidays, where your only obligation is to hand out money to your younger relatives and make a reservation at some restaurant. |
Almost every Korea I talked to about it said the exact same thing. |
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crescent
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: yes.
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:54 am Post subject: |
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| jvalmer wrote: |
| Although I do predict ancestor worship Korea to go the way of the dodo in a couple of generations. So when the current generations of over 40-somethings croak, Chuseok and Seollal will become truly relaxing holidays, where your only obligation is to hand out money to your younger relatives and make a reservation at some restaurant. |
There is currently a sizeable movement towards less fuss. I saw a news feature over the weekend that revealed a controversial shift in what is presented as food for the ritual. Lots of young families are just setting down pizza and fried chicken, and it's getting the old folks in an uproar.
My wife, in obvious favor of less fuss, was arguing with her older brother about it.. Yet... hmmm, didn't see HIM doing any of the cooking. |
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edwardcatflap
Joined: 22 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:28 am Post subject: |
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Jeez, if you can't make a bit of an effort for tradition's sake a couple of times a year  |
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Mr. Peabody
Joined: 24 Sep 2010
Location: here
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:34 am Post subject: |
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| edwardcatflap wrote: |
| Jeez, if you can't make a bit of an effort for tradition's sake a couple of times a year |
Agreed. Even though I'm not Korean, I respect the fact that my wife's family still preforms the "jeasa" ceremony for their ancestors.
I'd like to know that my kids would do the same for us after we're gone. I'm pretty sure they will. |
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crescent
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: yes.
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 4:07 am Post subject: |
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| Mr. Peabody wrote: |
| edwardcatflap wrote: |
| Jeez, if you can't make a bit of an effort for tradition's sake a couple of times a year |
Agreed. Even though I'm not Korean, I respect the fact that my wife's family still preforms the "jeasa" ceremony for their ancestors.
I'd like to know that my kids would do the same for us after we're gone. I'm pretty sure they will. |
LOL! BIT of effort? What experience do you guys have with the amount of effort required? And what evidence do you have that what YOUR wives do, is actually on the same level of intricacy as what other wives have to do?
You do know that the amount of jaesa preparation has decreased drastically over generations, but some households still go the full distance.
This 'bit' of effort is also required on the anniversary of their ancestors deaths, meaning the ritual is performed quite a bit more than a couple times a year. But currently, it's not the ritual that is being questioned, but the amount of food being prepared for it. As I said, on average, it's already a fraction of what it used to be. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:47 am Post subject: |
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Chuseok is a harvest festival so right off the bat the comparison with Christmas is a bad one.
It is an occasion to get together as a family, eat good food, catch up and see everyone. Wait, that sounds ODDLY like Thanksgiving back here in Canada...
As for the "fun" factor, it would depend. Do you enjoy Thanksgiving or did you enjoy it back home? If you did not and find family functions boring then odds are you will find Chuseok boring.
If your Korean is limited and you have little interest in your in laws, odds are Chuseok will be boring to you.
I personally enjoyed it most of the time because we got to see all our nieces, newphews and members of my wife's family we did not see often. The food was amazing and there were some pretty interesting conversations going around. However, that depends on your outlook on this holiday.
The ancestors ceremony is also pretty important for many families and if you get to take part in it, it is a special moment in itself if you pay attention.
As for its specialness...a quick perusal of Korean history will make it pretty obvious why its an important time for Korean families traditionally.
At the very least, enjoy it as a couple of days off.... |
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NohopeSeriously
Joined: 17 Jan 2011
Location: The Christian Right-Wing Educational Republic of Korea
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:55 am Post subject: |
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I washed all the dishes during my family's Chuseok dinner only because I found the TV shows of that day extremely annoying. The women in my family loved me so much!  |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:05 am Post subject: |
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| hapkido1996 wrote: |
| Dunno. Thanksgiving and xmas where I grew up always followed the same patterns. We had the same foods every time, followed the same schedule everytime, etc. I don't think this is anything specific about Korea. We just don't "feel" it because we didn't grow up with it. |
My college students that I teach didn't seem like they had an awesome time. If I compare that to Thanksgiving in the US or Christmas, I'd expect more Canadians and Americans to seem like they had an awesome time, and not simply because there is an important football game going on.... Could it be the food? We also don't have ancestor worship. I have no clue, but the students just seemed to have had some days off, and that was about it.
I am sure Chuseok is a rockin' time for some, but it doesn't seem so universal when compared to how people get excited over Thanksgiving. |
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atwood
Joined: 26 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:22 am Post subject: |
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| jvalmer wrote: |
| Although I do predict ancestor worship Korea to go the way of the dodo in a couple of generations. So when the current generations of over 40-somethings croak, Chuseok and Seollal will become truly relaxing holidays, where your only obligation is to hand out money to your younger relatives and make a reservation at some restaurant. |
Ancestor worship isn't going anywhere. Koreans are taught from an early age to venerate the past. Moreover, it's to the advantage of those in power to keep the whole "senior" thing going. When the younger generations get their turn, they're not going to say no.
For example, a 30-something guy at work took today off to go to his mother's grave for her annual memorial. |
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jvalmer
Joined: 06 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 1:24 am Post subject: |
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| atwood wrote: |
| jvalmer wrote: |
| Although I do predict ancestor worship Korea to go the way of the dodo in a couple of generations. So when the current generations of over 40-somethings croak, Chuseok and Seollal will become truly relaxing holidays, where your only obligation is to hand out money to your younger relatives and make a reservation at some restaurant. |
Ancestor worship isn't going anywhere. Koreans are taught from an early age to venerate the past. Moreover, it's to the advantage of those in power to keep the whole "senior" thing going. When the younger generations get their turn, they're not going to say no.
For example, a 30-something guy at work took today off to go to his mother's grave for her annual memorial. |
Well, a small hardcore portion of the population will always practice ancestor worship, but the majority won't. Half the population is Christian and a large portion of them do not perform the traditional ancestor worship. Most Korean-American families do not practice it too.
As for your 30 year old work colleague, I'm willing to bet my left nut a large portion of 30-somethings will stop practicing it when their parents pass on. With each successive generation the practice will dwindle. In the past when the majority lived in rural areas it wasn't too much of a hassle to perform the rites, since most lived near their hometowns. But now, urban Koreans literally spend hours travelling back to their ancestral hometowns, and it's a hassle to them. Chuseok will always be a holiday, but the practice of large amounts of food and traveling to your grandparents grave site will slowly dwindle away until only a small percentage of hardcore traditionalists will practice it. |
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