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PigeonFart
Joined: 27 Apr 2006
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 Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:28 am Post subject: |
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Agreed with the points that you must start to learn the language given you're marrying into the culture! Your potential kids will be half korean (if you choose to have some), it could be an insult to them if you don't try to learn some.
I know that's not what you want to hear and you might be a little peed off with this advice. It's never too late to start learning. I started to learn only after many years of actively not learning! Look at this positively, once you start learning the only way is up. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:50 am Post subject: Re: Language Barrier with Korean In-Laws |
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| Kennyftw wrote: |
I imagine most of you are not fluent in Korean.
How do you communicate with her/his family/parents?
I'm getting married soon and my soon to be's mother doesn't speak a word of English. She doesn't have a father anymore--he died.
Anyway, I can already feel the awkward moments when my wife will leave the room to go to the bathroom or something, and her mom and I are left in the room staring at each other. We can't communicate. I hate these types of moments because I've been through them more times than I like to admit with my girlfriend's friends. It's just torture.
This is going to be hell for me, I can already see it. |
Simply put: learn Korean. You do not need to become fluent in it, simply reacing conversational level would be great. This will allow you to communicate with your mother in law directly and will free your wife from being your personal live translator.
It will also free you from sitting in the corner not understanding what is being discussed and simply waiting for time to pass as you stare at the wall like some mute.
A little effort towards learning Korean will pay off here....
Heck, your wife is KOREAN, its the least you can do to learn a bit of her language.
Finally those akward moments you speak of can be turned into great opportunities to practice the Korean you are learning and to improve. Small talk with your in-laws can be a good way to improve your Korean while not being seen as the wayguk tool who can't be bothered to learn a bit of Korean...
Good luck. |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:59 am Post subject: Re: Language Barrier with Korean In-Laws |
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| Kennyftw wrote: |
I imagine most of you are not fluent in Korean.
How do you communicate with her/his family/parents?
I'm getting married soon and my soon to be's mother doesn't speak a word of English. She doesn't have a father anymore--he died.
Anyway, I can already feel the awkward moments when my wife will leave the room to go to the bathroom or something, and her mom and I are left in the room staring at each other. We can't communicate. I hate these types of moments because I've been through them more times than I like to admit with my girlfriend's friends. It's just torture.
This is going to be hell for me, I can already see it. |
Take a positive attitude with her and this situation. It's normal to feel nervous. Think and grow connected to your mother-in-law. When you meet her sometimes bring a small gift like nice rice cakes, things a Korean would appreciate. Sign up for Korean classes and try to use as much Korean as you can. I study Korean, and I have a long way to go, but I am making progress. If you can get to the point at least where you can understand a ton, it will go a long way. Think of all the ways you can make a connection. |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 6:08 am Post subject: |
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| Even if you don't feel like studying, it's still easy to make significant progress, IMO (though you should probably study). I've picked enough Korean to joke around and have short conversations simply by asking my girlfriend how to say things and then have her incorporate those things into our conversations. Make a bit of an effort with your fiancee and try to incorporate the basics that she teaches you into your everyday conversation and eventually the language will start to come together for you. |
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shifty
Joined: 21 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 9:11 am Post subject: |
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| northway wrote: |
| Even if you don't feel like studying, it's still easy to make significant progress, IMO (though you should probably study). I've picked enough Korean to joke around and have short conversations simply by asking my girlfriend how to say things and then have her incorporate those things into our conversations. Make a bit of an effort with your fiancee and try to incorporate the basics that she teaches you into your everyday conversation and eventually the language will start to come together for you. |
Northway!!! Above is nothing less than tacit admission that you yourself don't study Korean as you darn well know you should.
While at once shocked and disappointed, I do understand. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 11:08 am Post subject: |
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| shifty wrote: |
| northway wrote: |
| Even if you don't feel like studying, it's still easy to make significant progress, IMO (though you should probably study). I've picked enough Korean to joke around and have short conversations simply by asking my girlfriend how to say things and then have her incorporate those things into our conversations. Make a bit of an effort with your fiancee and try to incorporate the basics that she teaches you into your everyday conversation and eventually the language will start to come together for you. |
Northway!!! Above is nothing less than tacit admission that you yourself don't study Korean as you darn well know you should.
While at once shocked and disappointed, I do understand. |
Actually it sounds more like Northway is discussion one of the methods he uses to improve his Korean.... |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 2:09 pm Post subject: |
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| I haven't studied much at all, given that I'm absolutely horrible at independent language learning and there aren't any classes that fit within my schedule. My point is, you can learn enough Korean to have a conversation without ever stepping foot in a classroom, and the OP has a Korean fiancee who can help him pick up a lot of Korean if he doesn't have the time to sit down and study, so long as he's active about using what he learns. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 9:04 pm Post subject: |
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| northway wrote: |
| I haven't studied much at all, given that I'm absolutely horrible at independent language learning and there aren't any classes that fit within my schedule. My point is, you can learn enough Korean to have a conversation without ever stepping foot in a classroom, and the OP has a Korean fiancee who can help him pick up a lot of Korean if he doesn't have the time to sit down and study, so long as he's active about using what he learns. |
This.
I can converse on a basic level and make myself understood more or less nearly problem-free.
As for the OP's situation:
Were I married to a Korean I imagine I would have learned a lot more by now...a big motivation would be to participate in the conversations at the dinner table and be able to speak more or less correctly/fluently to the in-laws. Plus I would have a native speaker there to help me...which is possibly the biggest aid to learning a foreign language.
And like others said...you don't have be fluent...a little goes a long way. |
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Kennyftw
Joined: 08 Aug 2011
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| Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 4:22 am Post subject: |
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| I haven't checked on this thread since I started it. Thanks to everyone who contributed, you have some great advice!! |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 6:57 am Post subject: |
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| northway wrote: |
| I haven't studied much at all, given that I'm absolutely horrible at independent language learning and there aren't any classes that fit within my schedule. My point is, you can learn enough Korean to have a conversation without ever stepping foot in a classroom, and the OP has a Korean fiancee who can help him pick up a lot of Korean if he doesn't have the time to sit down and study, so long as he's active about using what he learns. |
I agree that you can have very basic conversation with a Korean on a limited number of topics by doing what northway is doing. That in itself is a good thing to do especially if you are married to a Korean... |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:18 am Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| northway wrote: |
| I haven't studied much at all, given that I'm absolutely horrible at independent language learning and there aren't any classes that fit within my schedule. My point is, you can learn enough Korean to have a conversation without ever stepping foot in a classroom, and the OP has a Korean fiancee who can help him pick up a lot of Korean if he doesn't have the time to sit down and study, so long as he's active about using what he learns. |
I agree that you can have very basic conversation with a Korean on a limited number of topics by doing what northway is doing. That in itself is a good thing to do especially if you are married to a Korean... |
I don't feel like I should have to defend myself here, but my point was merely that you can easily be conversational on a fun level without studying a lot. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 11:00 am Post subject: |
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Why would you defend yourself?
I was agreeing with ya: you can reach a basic conversational level without studying.
Different needs, different people! I think you did what you felt worked best for you and thats cool.  |
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cdninkorea
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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When the marriage conversation happened with my parents in law, one of their biggest concerns, most understandably, was communication. I told them I was taking classes and will continue to improve, and this put their minds at ease (somewhat; of course they'd still prefer my Korean be better right away).
Since then my Korean has been gradually improving, and since I only see them every month or so, the difference in their eyes when I do see them is noticeable. Over Chuseok I even managed to have a (short) conversation with my wife's grandmother (even my wife doesn't always understand what she says, since people of her generation speak differently).
What everyone from her family appreciates is the fact that I'm trying to and do improve. If your mother in law, OP, sees that, I think that'll make all the difference. |
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hapkido1996
Joined: 05 Jul 2011
Location: Anyang, Gyeong-gi
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| Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 6:28 pm Post subject: |
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| northway wrote: |
| Even if you don't feel like studying, it's still easy to make significant progress, IMO (though you should probably study). I've picked enough Korean to joke around and have short conversations simply by asking my girlfriend how to say things and then have her incorporate those things into our conversations. Make a bit of an effort with your fiancee and try to incorporate the basics that she teaches you into your everyday conversation and eventually the language will start to come together for you. |
I agree. L1 wasn't learned in a classroom and there's no reason to expect that L2 must be. I learned a lot of Korean the natural way, ie, by being in situations in which I was immersed in comprehensible input. For me, that was Hapkido class. The 사범 yelled something out, everybody responded, and I connected the word with the action. Very natural, and much more long-lasting than what you get in formal instruction.
I also browse the dictionary in my spare time, like when I'm on a bus or subway or eating lunch alone. When I find a word or phrase I know will be useful, I write it on the back of my hand. Then I get to see it over and over again while I'm going about my day. Helps it stick in my mind.
Anyway, I agree with cdninkorea that the OP's overall level probably isn't as important to his MIL as just the knowledge that he's working on it and making progress. |
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