Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Enigma]

I teach adults and one of my students is getting married on Saturday. I've taught her for 4 nights a week for just under a year. Although she's a really nice woman and we get along great in class, we've never hung out together outside of class. She's been off for the last month or so getting ready for the wedding.

Anyways, today one of the other students in her class gave me a wedding invitation. I was quite surprised as although she'd told me she was getting married, she never said anything about inviting me. The wedding is being held in a city quite a ways from mine, involving at least 2 long bus rides. I've never been to a Korean wedding before, but I don't see any reason why I'd want to spend the whole weekend on the bus to see this one.

What are the expectations in this situation? There's no e-mail address and only one phone number on the invitation, which appears to be for the wedding hall. Am I supposed to call the wedding hall to say I won't be attending, or do I just not show? (I don't have her number or e-mail) As I already mentioned, she's a really nice woman so I don't want to hurt her feelings, but do you think she actually expects me to attend, or was she just being polite?

Any thoughts on this are appreciated. Thanks.

[edwardcatflap]

Don't show. Koreans give those invitations out like business cards, hoping to make a profit on the wedding from people who pay more than the meal costs. If you like the woman, say you'd love to come but have made other plans.

[jeremysums]

Just say you had plans.

[sojusucks]

You don't have to go, but if you do go give them 30,000 won, in cash, in an envelope. Don't buy a gift certificate or appliance because that's not what they want. They want cash. Oh, and you don't have to dress up. Wear whatever because you're not important to them.

[carleverson]

Don't go. They don't want or expect you to come anyway.

[chrisinkorea2011]

[Rutherford]

If you had a relationship outside of class and considered her at least a close acquaintance they might note your absence. If you do go, give 30,000 in a white envelope with your name on it to the people you'll see sitting at a table collecting them. Make sure it's for the right wedding as there may be several held simultaneously.

Assuming it's an average wedding, you'll all go to a hall and watch a ceremony lasting around 45 minutes and then everyone will move to a buffet, probably in the same building and eat and drink.

You'll be there two hours tops, less if you don't linger at dinner.

[GoldMember]

Etiquette??? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .
Kidding right!

[Kaypea]

[bobbyhanlon]

a lot of excessively negative responses here. anyway, just make an excuse

[freddy teacher]

30,000w sounds a little cheap to be honest. the usual is about 50,000w per person. and dont listen to the other poster who mentioned not to dress up. yes, the bride might not really care about u, but you should care about yourself..iron a shirt, put on a decent suit and slap on a tie. i cringe every time i go to korean weddings. besides, you might be able to pick up a girl there

if this is too much of a big deal, just tell her you have previous plans you cannot break, but you wish her all the best on her ridiculous attempt at a western wedding.

[soulofseoul]

If you dont like her much, just give 44,000 won

[madoka]

[akcrono]

[I-am-me]

Yes, they dont expect you to go. However rude you think you are being, its not taken as rudeness by Koreans.