Korean Job Discussion Forums

[fromtheuk]

My MA is going ok so far. I am part of a postgraduate facebook group for our uni, I recently sent one woman a private message from it and here is our exchange below, ad verbatim.

Me:

Hello. How is your course going? Mine is cliquey. I did a search on google and found that you were a former Ms Nottingham (winner of a city beauty contest readers). Shallow I know, but it's nice to know our university accepts beautiful students. I apologize if this message made your skin crawl in any way. All the best.

Woman:

why would you search me on google?

Me:

Boredom probably. If I'm online and I see a name and I'm bored, I'll do a quick google search. I've done my own name, nothing ever comes up though!

Woman:

That's incredibly strange and quite stalkerish.

Me:

To be honest everyone I know googles different people they've never met. Take George Washington, for example. Anyway, no offence intended, sorry.

END OF MESSAGES.

So, posters is fromtheuk a 'stalker?' Will she approach the Dean of our university to have me arrested? Will I become public enemy number 1?

Lastly, in all seriousness (for a second) is this stalkerish/offensive?

I personally think not.

[Nowhere Man]

Wow, the fact that you're still here suggests you yourself are a sock.

Supposing you're earnest, let's look at it this way:

You walk up to someone and say, "Hi, I googled you, you're..."

Yeah, that's pretty freakish.

You should probably try to be normal, but if you're asking on a forum such as this, you should probably hire someone to help you.

[fromtheuk]

Sent a message, not walked up to them. We are part of the same facebook group too. If someone was a beauty queen that's pretty public knowledge, not like I went through her garbage and followed her home.

[Skipperoo]

[Nowhere Man]

[jfromtheway]

I don't think it's unusual to google a girl you know informally. But, to tell them you did so in an online message, before adding semi-creepy remarks ("sorry if this makes your skin crawl... good to know they accept beautiful students"), isn't very smooth my man. Never seen one of these Ms. Nottingham beauty winners myself, but if they're anything like regular beauty winners, they probably get a lot of creepy messages like that. Plenty of creepy guys score from this approach, however. You just have to be able to confront her immediately and smooth her over with confident, fake apologies regarding your creepiness. I have friends who live by that method, apparently, but it takes a just attractive enough for her, weird-in-general kind of guy to consistently approach the cooch that way successfully.

I dated a beautiful 21 year old, ditzy blonde stoner girl from Dallas a little while back. Googled the hell out of her initially, and found a crazy stalker video of her on youtube. All of her facebook photos behind some song this 38 year old guy probably recorded in his mom's basement (he'd made multiple stalker videos of random girls' facebook photos, all behind the same song).

It took me over a month to bring it up, out of fear that I would sound creepy for finding it. When I finally mentioned it, she was like, "oh, I know about it." I started watching it with her a few minutes later, and her roommate (upon hearing the song) yelled from the other room, "are you watching your stalker video again?" They love the attention.

From the story you told, in all seriousness, you're not a stalker; at least not for googling someone you were attracted to, then telling them you did so. You likely just lack tact, or the necessary social skills for attracting women in, well, more normal ways. But that in itself isn't too irregular, so keep building upon your stalker game, and eventually it will work out.

[Pa Jan Jo A Hamnida]

Don't drink the septic Kool Aid.

[Zyzyfer]

*note to self - don't google hot chix*

Well played, fromtheuk.

[recessiontime]

fromtheuk - r u a virgin?

serious question.

[brickabrack]

google hot chicks, but don't tell them
you've done so in an intro email...and tell them
that they are beautiful. I'd be creeped out.

I've had a few chicks tell me this was creepy, by the way.
Chicks, I promise to refrain from using the word 'chick' again.

[bekinseki]

Yep, while you're possibly not a stalker, you certainly give a lot of hints that you are one.

[nero]

How exactly did you expect her to react?
Did you think she would fall at your feet with gratitude that you acknowledged her?
This passive-aggressive approach you use in communicating suggests narcissistic tendecies coupled with low self esteem.

[fromtheuk]

For once, we have some useful, balanced responses on this thread. Thank you everybody for that.

Conclusion - Not in trouble. Never private message any woman again on facebook. Problem solved.

[iRock]

spam her message box with declarations of love

[Carbon]