Korean Job Discussion Forums

[baccus]

to add further,

lush,

i have read your other posts and were commenting on them!

[Zyzyfer]

[jurassic5]

[lush72]

[Scott in HK]

[baccus]

lush,

my appologies then, as you have proven me wrong and i willingly admit it. as well i should appologize for any negative comments i have made to you and others. the kyopo comment in retrospect was not necessary and is duly noted as such.

scott, i don't have all the answers and thus posited the points in the hopes more would be added to it. i have some insight, more so than most i believe, but like i said - i could live here all my life and never fully understand things.

now, i really need to get back to work. again, it has been interesting!

[baccus]

scott,

let me try to offer some insight, however correct you believe it to be.

koreans as a race are very emotional as most people will recognize, but at the same time, the roles of the respective sexes can be said to be reversed here. let me give you one example. after a break-up, a women is said to forget and move on much more easily than their male counterparts. this goes against what we in the western world know. why is this so? i have some idea but i don't have the time now and i personally don't fully understand. the people here tend to be very fatalistic in their assessments and think more about the cause than effect. i know a very simplistic answer.

girls here have a burden much larger than their western couterparts and quikly learn what they need to. love is something girls ex[erience in college - usually when they have the most freedom and are also subject to more assessment and introspection from the males. koreans are very personal and also very direct when it comes to matters of relationships. it has nothing to do with getting to know each other and see where it goes. koreans are expected to make decisions quickly and sometimes erroneously and these expereinces, i beleive ultimatley lead to a more structured approach when it comes to marriage and as most (not all) partnerships are more about future outcome than about the heart.

it is ultimately a survival instinct. the number one reason for divorce is money.

HAVE TO GO...

[Cthulhu]

[Cthulhu]

baccus wrote:

[Alyallen]

I don't understand the point in this thread at all.

I don't think that this situation is special to any one particular race or ethnicity.

When it comes down to it....people like to make sweeping generalizations because they can't sit down and figure out the heart of the matter without smashing everyone into some kind of category (i.e. well off, well rounded, golddiggers, Green card seekers, etc. etc.).

Let's face it...when someone marries someone who is richer, older, younger, more educated, black, white, foreign, whatever...people likes to assume there is some nefarious(sp?) ulterior motive behind it. When it comes down to it, everyone is different and marry who they because THEY want to. They don't need to explain it to anyone more than their spouse, family, and friends (and the last two are optional if you have enough courage or guts).

Sorry, generalizations are nice but are often pointless when you get down to the roots of it...

[dutchman]

[kidcharlemagne]

baccus,

you sound like you don't like gyopos very much - did you have a bad experience with some of them? where does your negativity toward them come from?

[Scott in HK]

[Homer]

[baccus]

final response,

let me address some of the questions:

no i do not have anything against gyopos. i find them no dofferent than other koreans or foreigners for the most part, but yes, i have met a handful that were nothing but trouble and this is not just my perception, but that of fellow colleagues and aquaintainces.

i have come to believe anyone who brags too often, too much can not be fully believed and thus have responded accordingly.

i have made a typo - heresy - heresay - and yes, scott you have a valid point, but i would argue my examples are more objective as opposed to people who have used personal experiences, however anecdotal. accurate enough to be considered factual. the responses i have recieved were too defensive and thus pointless.

i suggest a certain individual look up the various meanings of the word 'just' and make a logical conclusion. my man, you are too predictable. anyone who waits in anticipation to stomp on someone over an non-issue can only said to be deficient. thus i gave you something chew on.

my close colleagues know i speak korean, but for the most part, in a large office, most people do not know and i like to keep it that way. my job involves working using western practices, and thus everyone has a more than adequate understanding of the english language.

the point(s)

money plays a major role in korea and many koreans are after the money. however, no matter how much money one has, it cannot buy status. koreans with an education do not respect wealthy people without an education because there are just too many people who have made money through real estate, business, etc. politicians are the most powerful people in korea, more powerful than any chaebol owner. the recent supposed suicide of a chaebol chief is believed among the elite to have been forced out, as opposed to willingly under his own accord. why? too many answers to questions that could destroy too many politicians and other businessmen. ever wonder why people live in shitholes but drive expensive cars. i see people living in one rooms driving foreign cars. i know these people have very little money, yet they drive beamers. because they don;t have the education, the next best thing is the illusion of wealth. no amount of money can make up for the lack of an education and all the associations that naturally come with it.

i know an individual from a wealthy family who is unmarried. his chances of marriage are not good because he is handicapped. he has a limp and he is shorter than average. this is only one case in many i have witnessed.

any beautiful girl will have an inordinate among of suitors and chasers(stalkers) whereas a less than average girl will be hard pressed to find anyone. this is an indisputable fact of korean life, more so than in the west.

my job and that of friends and colleagues require we frequent establishments where women are prominent. statistical evidence backs up my claims that at least 10% of girls have between the ages of 20-30 have at one time or another worked in the sex industry - prostitution, room salons, massage parlors, etc.

i frequent bars after work for a nightcap. i live and work in an affluent area where there are a large number of such venues including western hotels. there are many working girls everywhere i go. some are working, some are just out for fun. did you guys know that 588 girls will go to nightclubs to take a break from work and have a one night stand? i met a girl in a bar who was a college student. after talking to her for a while over a drink, she propositioned me. i declined. as it was a slow night, we started discussing our personal lives and i found out she had a finance and he did not know she moonlighted to make extra money. she had not even had sex with him yet and responded incredulously when i asked why. yet, she didn't seem too fazed about getting money to buy things her parents weren't willing to buying for her. her parents wer paying for an apt. and all her other expenses.

i have met many people and i have come to the conclusion koreans have more secrets than the average person. i know of many examples. one girl, who has a foreign fiance regularly meets other people to engage in extra curricular activity. i know korean girls who have more than one phone and as many boyfriends. i inquired about this to older (parental age) people and they saw nothing wrong in dating more than one person while they are looking for a suitable partner for marriage.

there are just too many examples of which these are but just a few.

how does this all fit in to the larger picture?

money matters but education is more important and a combination of the two is better. generally, if you can get into the top school, chances are the money and power and respect will follow. hubeh, sombeh are necessary if you want to succeed in korea. thus the background plays a significant role in all koreans lives.

looks - need i say more.

the past plays a large part in the decision making process because of the burden of guilt and as i mentioned above, secrets are numerous.

obviously this does not answer everything and everyone has every right to disagree with my assessment, but in defense i ask you to disprove what i have said.

this by no means suggest your personal lives must fall under such, but this only illustrates the larger picture and provides some insight into the factors that affect the lives of many koreans.

love - is not important in korea. family duty takes precedence.