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madoka
Joined: 27 Mar 2008
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 Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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To echo other people's sentiments. . .
I don't know what your husband did to abandon a newborn after six years of marriage, but whatever it was, he must feel pretty guilty about it to give up full custody of the child like that. A few weeks, months, or years from now, he may change his mind on that and demand custody. While I never practiced family law, such situations are fairly common. You have to strike while the iron is hot and get everything in writing or else it may come back to haunt you.
Don't ask on Dave's. Pay for a legal professional to make certain for you. It could save you a lot of grief later. |
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Stan Rogers
Joined: 20 Aug 2010
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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| What a terrible situation. I feel so sorry for the baby. |
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naturegirl321
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Home sweet home
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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| I-am-me wrote: |
| From the experience of a filipino friend of mine from the philippines, she got married here to an American through the US embassy. They got divorced through the embassy, but in the Philippines they did not recognize her divorce so she had to really do a lot of paperwork to finalize it there. Pretty much she had to do an annullment. In you case, it might be the same. Peru might not recognize anything you do here. And with child custody, you dont want to find yourself on Interpol's watch list for child kidnapping. Best bet is to get it all done in Peru or contact an attorney in Peru. Can you do that? I do have a friend there if you needed to contact an attorney, but I am sure you can find one online. Wow...3 wk old baby! Thats rough. PM me if you want to talk about anything. Why cant your husband do it from Peru? |
See, the issue is that we were already married for 5 years the second time my husband came here.
In order for the US or Peru to recognise our divorce it's pretty straight forward. I'd have to do the same thing for the US as I did for our marriage. Took a whole five minutes.
Philippines is VERY different. Divorce doesn't exist there. For us to get Peru to recognise the divorce, all I have to do is take the info to the embassy, change my Peruvian ID and send the paperwork to my husband so he can do the same. The only possible issue that I might have is that I'm an American here, divorcing as an American. BUt in Peru, I have Peruvian citizenship (through marriage, irconic, huh?) and a different name than I do in the US. I have 3 last names there and only 2 here in the US.
My husband said he'll give me legal and physical custody. Don't want to get on INTERPOL's lsit since they alraedy have my fingerprints from 2006 when I got Peruvian residency. He won't make the baby an issue. Trust me on this.
Found a laywer in Peru, but Peruvian stuff is NEVER as easy as it seems. We could do it, him being there, he's leaving Korea, and me being here, though I'm kind of afraid he'll change his mind about stuff.
Last edited by naturegirl321 on Mon Nov 07, 2011 6:53 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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naturegirl321
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Home sweet home
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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| rollo wrote: |
| I think you will have to go to Peru. Especially about the custody issue. If you plan on ever traveling again you need to do this. I guess traveling is not so likely with a your new responsibility but just in case. This is the type of thing that can come back to bite you in the butt if you do not take care of it properly. |
We won't. We found a lawyer here, so could do it here though there.
I'll be travelling in Feb to visit my family. It's easier to travel when kids are young. Then if they cry you just stick something in their mouth.
We're young and have no joint accounts. We just have property together. |
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naturegirl321
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Home sweet home
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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| madoka wrote: |
I don't know what your husband did to abandon a newborn after six years of marriage, but whatever it was, he must feel pretty guilty about it to give up full custody of the child like that. A few weeks, months, or years from now, he may change his mind on that and demand custody. While I never practiced family law, such situations are fairly common. You have to strike while the iron is hot and get everything in writing or else it may come back to haunt you.
Don't ask on Dave's. Pay for a legal professional to make certain for you. It could save you a lot of grief later. |
I have contacted three lawyers in Korea and one back home in Peru. I just wanted to know if peopel in Korea have gotten FULL custody of their kids.
And yes, he feels guilty, but it's more than that. He knows that I can provide for her better than he can. Yes, he could change his mind later. So could I. That's why we're divorcing NOW and he's giving me full custody NOW.
| Stan Rogers wrote: |
| What a terrible situation. I feel so sorry for the baby. |
Don't. She won't remember any of this. We're doing just fine. It's not her fault. |
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I-am-me
Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Location: Hermit Kingdom
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 7:56 pm Post subject: |
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| I am confused. You keep throwing the US, Korea and Peru into the mix. If you were married in Peru, that is where the divorce would be nullified. If you married in the US, then go to the embassy. I really doubt anything korean has legal standing in Peru or the US. Get hold of a peruvian attorney, have them send you whatever you need, and go to peruvian embassy for any notorizations they might request. Korean attorney will only take your money for a worthless piece of paper in my view. If you go to Peru in Feb, see how much you can get done here with a peruvian attorney and finish it up when you go home. |
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naturegirl321
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Home sweet home
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 8:31 pm Post subject: |
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| I-am-me wrote: |
| I am confused. You keep throwing the US, Korea and Peru into the mix. If you were married in Peru, that is where the divorce would be nullified. If you married in the US, then go to the embassy. I really doubt anything korean has legal standing in Peru or the US. Get hold of a peruvian attorney, have them send you whatever you need, and go to peruvian embassy for any notorizations they might request. Korean attorney will only take your money for a worthless piece of paper in my view. If you go to Peru in Feb, see how much you can get done here with a peruvian attorney and finish it up when you go home. |
Not nullified. We'll just get divorced, not an annullment.
Our marriage has been recorded inthe US, so I'd have to record my divorce there as well, so I could get married again if I so choose.
Of course the divorce in Korea would have legal standing in the US and Peru. I've already contacted the embassies. Why would the embassies lie to us?
I'm NOT going home. I'm staying in KOrea. NOT going to Peru in Feb. Going to the US in Feb to visit. I love KOrea. |
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I-am-me
Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Location: Hermit Kingdom
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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Then you are on the home stretch. As long as they say the divorce is recognized legally in Korea then it should be no problem with the child's custody. I'm sure the baby has it's American passport now, right? Just get it all signed and you are free. And good thing, fare for the baby wont be too expensive!  |
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litebear
Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Holland
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't have anything practical to add other than that I really hope you get this sorted for yourself and your new born. I know a little bit of the work you do to help ESL teachers outside of this forum, good luck and the hope the process goes as smoothly as possible |
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naturegirl321
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Home sweet home
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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| I-am-me wrote: |
| Then you are on the home stretch. As long as they say the divorce is recognized legally in Korea then it should be no problem with the child's custody. I'm sure the baby has it's American passport now, right? Just get it all signed and you are free. And good thing, fare for the baby wont be too expensive! |
Got PP and am waiting for ARC |
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I-am-me
Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Location: Hermit Kingdom
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I-am-me
Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Location: Hermit Kingdom
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naturegirl321
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Home sweet home
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| Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 12:07 am Post subject: |
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Yep, thanks. I know. I blogged about it when it came out a couple years ago. The lawyer I found www.midivorcio.pe is an expert in that. My main concern is that if he's in Peru and I'm in Korea, he might gain the upper hand.
There's a difference between doing it quickly and doing it right. I'd rather have it done right. Takes just as long in Korea as it does in Peru. Have a better chance of the Koraen one being recognised that the Peru one since Peru JUST joined the Hague agreement. PLUS, the Korean divorce papers are in English. |
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Died By Bear
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
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| Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:12 am Post subject: |
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OP
Not to sidetrack you, just something Confucius say....
You can't start the next chapter of your life until you quit re-reading the last one.
Get it done and move on! Once you make a cut, make it clean. Make sure to hold the knife upside down, so you don't cut yourself...ooops, what am I saying...  |
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Konglishman
Joined: 14 Sep 2007
Location: Nanjing
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| Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 7:05 am Post subject: |
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Naturegirl,
I am really sorry to hear about your current difficulties. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to face this sort of betrayal 6 years into a marriage.
Well, at least, it appears that there will be no problems from Peru with regards to recognizing a divorce from abroad unlike another certain country which only recently came to my attention in the past year... Anyways, stay strong. |
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