Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Chris.Quigley]

I have decided to put my accounting skillz to work in a totally new field: Marriage Accounting.

As we all know - marriage is a major decision and investment of yourself, your love, your time and of course your money. My background in accounting and finance can help you navigate this important time in your life.

Accounting for marriage is a difficult field - as these assets or liabilities (in all likelihood) are more complicated than the SPEs that brought down Enron or the Mortgage Backed Securities that started the financial crisis. Do not engage in this type of investment without qualified professional advice.

To give you a taste of what you can expect - I will show you how I would apply US or Canadian GAAP (Generally Accepted Accounting Principles) to a super hot gold digging Korean wife.

The first thing you need to understand about a gold digger is that she is a depreciating asset - she loses value over time. Her looks and beauty will fade. Whereas if you marry a woman that you actually love - your relationship may actually gain value with time.

Another important consideration is that a gold digger is a negative cash flow. In accordance with GAAP such a cash flow needs to be reported at its present value. I usually use a low discount rate - because if you married for love- the cash flow would likely be far less. The face value on your marriage contract with a gold digger will likely be very high. So, expect me to discount the marriage contract significantly.

Like most investments - impairment tests should be carried out when i. events have transpired which indicate the assets may be worth significantly less than currently reported ii. the likelihood of stated returns is less than previously thought. An event that might indicate impairment would be an affair -

I keep detailed records to record depreciation expense, interest expense and impairment losses.

I usually recommend marrying her in a country that your home country does not recognize marriage contracts from - or signing a prenuptial agreement. This is similar to using financial derivatives or other insurance in the realm of business.

Once we have decided how much this $%^& is worth today, and how much she will cost you over time, we compare the two numbers. In my professional experience it is more likely than not that she is not worth anything near her face value. Usually it is a negative amount. As a good accountant I will tell you the risks involved with such an investment - but ultimately it is up to you.

Next week, I'll help you ladies out there decide how to go about deciding the value of a deadbeat loser husband.

[Ribena]

Sounds good. I used to provide a similar service in one of my jobs.

I worked for a government department that dealt with benefits in the UK. I would often have calls from ladies whoes partners had asked to move in with them. They wanted to know how it would affect their benefits so they could decide if they would allow it, or more likely if they would bother telling us that their personal circumstance had changed. So they had the information to figure out if the potential live-in partner was going to be lose them too much money and if that would be off-set by his income.

[Chris.Quigley]

Wait? So people can actually make money off of this?

[el_magico]

I recommend leasing depreciating assets.

Marriage has to be recognized as a rather large Commitment & contingency on a personal balance sheet due to potential outflows (alimony) that could last decades.

[Skipperoo]

[Chris.Quigley]

[ajosshi]

http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=208747