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radcon
Joined: 23 May 2011
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 Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
And in turn, that could be flipped. Why are foreigners so afraid of standing up for themselves? I've heard of numerous instances on this board where someone has been wronged... and they just leave.
The truth is, we're hearing ONE SIDE of this story. And while it sounds like the side I'd believe, there's also room for doubt. People leave information out. People have certain perspectives on instances. You get the picture.
The Floating World, you and another poster claim this happens to people you know every year here. Ok. So let me ask you - Why the heck are you guys hanging around with these crazies? Seriously.
I've been here for 10 years now and haven't heard this happening to any friend of mine. That's NOT to say that it couldn't, but rather than it HASN'T.
Here's a little hint for ya - if the chick that sits down next to ya at the cafe/bar/bus stop has the occasional twitch as she's going on about how good looking you are, take a pass.  |
Not everyone has an F5 visa like you. So leaving might be the only option. Lost job, lost visa, no apartment means you just might have no other option than leaving. And if you stay and fight what exactly do you win? You get reinstated and get to stay and work with people who stabbed you in the back.
And often normal girls dont go crazy until the realtionship ends. |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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And that's a choice people make - to fight or to leave. I don't begrudge people for making it, but it is a choice.
| radcon wrote: |
| The Floating World wrote: |
Love the way the apologists create a diversionary argument in order to detract from the real one.
We all know unfair dismissal happens in all countries. We all know there is no utopia on earth, come on stop clowning about, we know this we don't need you to point it out.
Here is the real issue here - the physcological mindstate, the uri nara mentality that is at work in the OP's case.
The mindset of 'this is MY country and you are a mere guest and I can have you kicked out of it if you break up with me' just does not occur in general in other countries.
The though wouldn't pass through most people's minds, yet I have heard this happening at least anually here in the past 8 years.
Hey, maybe it is due to culture, the girl feels dishonoured (I have had a Korean ex and heard friend's korean exes say the have been 'dishonoured' by being dumped) and the only way she can save face is to ensure the guy isn't around any more.
hey, no problemo, it's a cultural differance - but let's not deny it!
Why the denial??? Why does the truth hurt so much? |
Another example of that mentality. A year or two ago a Korean man entered a female South African teachers apartment, handcuffed her, and raped her. This was after watching her for weeks. She was a neighbor. The police caught him and the rapist wanted to offer a monetary settlement. He agreed to pay the girl with one stipulation: that she leave Korea and never return. I believe the girl refused payment and had him prosecuted. |
So you're taking a crazy person's rant as representative of Korea.
You don't see a problem with that?
Shall I now post crazy rants from the US? Heck, I don't even have to go that far to find the 'get out of my country' attitude. Pretty sure that could be found at any anti-immigration rally. |
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madoka
Joined: 27 Mar 2008
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| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 8:55 pm Post subject: |
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| The Floating World wrote: |
The mindset of 'this is MY country and you are a mere guest and I can have you kicked out of it if you break up with me' just does not occur in general in other countries. |
And you know this how? 
I worked in one of the largest immigration courts in the U.S. And yeah, we saw plenty of snitching to the INS from upset citizens. That stuff just never makes the news. |
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Joe Boxer
Joined: 25 Dec 2007
Location: Bundang, South Korea
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| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 9:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
| And in turn, that could be flipped. Why are foreigners so afraid of standing up for themselves? I've heard of numerous instances on this board where someone has been wronged... and they just leave. |
Foreigners tuck tail and leave in most cases. FIGHT THE FIGHT! |
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Died By Bear
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:21 am Post subject: |
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Breakin rocks in the ... hot sun
I fought a kchick... and the Kchick won
I needed money 'cause I ... had none
I fought a kchick... and the Kchick won
She's the best girl I ever had
I guess my race is run
I miss my baby and I miss my fun
I fought a kchick... and the Kchick won |
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Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:59 am Post subject: |
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| Died By Bear wrote: |
| I fought a kchick... and the Kchick won |
There's often rather a nasty underlying power dynamic to foreigner-Korean relationships here. Basically everything is skewed in the koreans favour.
The fact that every ajosshi in the country is willing you to break up doesn't help either. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:19 am Post subject: |
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| radcon wrote: |
| Captain Corea wrote: |
And in turn, that could be flipped. Why are foreigners so afraid of standing up for themselves? I've heard of numerous instances on this board where someone has been wronged... and they just leave.
The truth is, we're hearing ONE SIDE of this story. And while it sounds like the side I'd believe, there's also room for doubt. People leave information out. People have certain perspectives on instances. You get the picture.
The Floating World, you and another poster claim this happens to people you know every year here. Ok. So let me ask you - Why the heck are you guys hanging around with these crazies? Seriously.
I've been here for 10 years now and haven't heard this happening to any friend of mine. That's NOT to say that it couldn't, but rather than it HASN'T.
Here's a little hint for ya - if the chick that sits down next to ya at the cafe/bar/bus stop has the occasional twitch as she's going on about how good looking you are, take a pass. |
Not everyone has an F5 visa like you. So leaving might be the only option. Lost job, lost visa, no apartment means you just might have no other option than leaving. .. |
Not so. If you have a case pending you can easily get an extension of stay in this country at immigration...so that takes care of the visa issue. And I don't think anyone would want to be reinstated at such a place...but rather collect damages for wrongful dismisal/slander and as well as libel from the ex.
If one has a good case and it looks like he's going to stay and raise Cain...they are much more likely to sweep things under the carpet/come to an agreement then if they think "We know this guy...he'll just leave so we don't need to worry."
I've made at least one hakwon boss rue the day he met me and helped another teacher win a case at the labor board...so it does happen. But nothing can be done if (a) you run or (b) you leave out information that might change the whole nature of the case. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:25 am Post subject: |
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| Julius wrote: |
| Died By Bear wrote: |
| I fought a kchick... and the Kchick won |
There's often rather a nasty underlying power dynamic to foreigner-Korean relationships here. Basically everything is skewed in the koreans favour.
The fact that every ajosshi in the country is willing you to break up doesn't help either. |
Ever hear the saying "I could count them on the fingers on one/both hands and have fingers left over?"
I'd have to remove my socks in order to include my toes in the count (my fingers just wouldn't be enough) if I were to count the "adjosshis" who have encouraged me to find and marry a nice Korean girl. These would include the two male principals of former public schools, 3 gym sometime training partners, and 2 male co-workers/teachers. Not to mention several Korean friends. |
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atwood
Joined: 26 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:25 am Post subject: |
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| madoka wrote: |
| The Floating World wrote: |
The mindset of 'this is MY country and you are a mere guest and I can have you kicked out of it if you break up with me' just does not occur in general in other countries. |
And you know this how?
I worked in one of the largest immigration courts in the U.S. And yeah, we saw plenty of snitching to the INS from upset citizens. That stuff just never makes the news. |
On ILLEGAL immigrants, who were breaking the law?
The OP wasn't breaking any laws, although plenty of Koreans would like to see foreigners dating Korean women made illegal. |
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atwood
Joined: 26 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:27 am Post subject: |
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| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| Julius wrote: |
| Died By Bear wrote: |
| I fought a kchick... and the Kchick won |
There's often rather a nasty underlying power dynamic to foreigner-Korean relationships here. Basically everything is skewed in the koreans favour.
The fact that every ajosshi in the country is willing you to break up doesn't help either. |
Ever hear the saying "I could count them on the fingers on one/both hands and have fingers left over?"
I'd have to remove my socks in order to include my toes in the count (my fingers just wouldn't be enough) if I were to count the "adjosshis" who have encouraged me to find and marry a nice Korean girl. These would include the two male principals of former public schools, 3 gym sometime training partners, and 2 male co-workers/teachers. Not to mention several Korean friends. |
And what they say to you is fully representative of what they believe?
I hope they all made it to your wedding and left you fat white envelopes. |
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crescent
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: yes.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:29 am Post subject: |
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| Never mind how many of those adjossis set him up with relative. |
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Died By Bear
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:57 am Post subject: |
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| crescent wrote: |
| Never mind how many of those adjossis set him up with relative. |
I dated the red light girl, but I did not shag the prinipal's daughter.
I dated the red light girl, but I did not shag the prinipal's daughter.
All around in my home town
They're trying to track me down.
They say they want to bring me in guilty
For the bedding of a ho',
For the reputation of a man's daughter.
But I say:
I shagged the red light girl,, but I swear it was in self-defense.
I shagged the young gal, and they say it is a capital offense. |
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bentobento
Joined: 21 Jan 2011
Location: US of A (for now)
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:44 am Post subject: |
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| I've heard about asian girls being psycho like this on a number of occasions, which is why some asian men I know have switched over to dating western girls. It's unfortunate what has happened to sadguy, but I can completely understand his frustration with Korea after all this. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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| crescent wrote: |
| Never mind how many of those adjossis set him up with relative. |
In that case I wouldn't need to use my toes then. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 3:38 pm Post subject: |
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| atwood wrote: |
| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| Julius wrote: |
| Died By Bear wrote: |
| I fought a kchick... and the Kchick won |
There's often rather a nasty underlying power dynamic to foreigner-Korean relationships here. Basically everything is skewed in the koreans favour.
The fact that every ajosshi in the country is willing you to break up doesn't help either. |
Ever hear the saying "I could count them on the fingers on one/both hands and have fingers left over?"
I'd have to remove my socks in order to include my toes in the count (my fingers just wouldn't be enough) if I were to count the "adjosshis" who have encouraged me to find and marry a nice Korean girl. These would include the two male principals of former public schools, 3 gym sometime training partners, and 2 male co-workers/teachers. Not to mention several Korean friends. |
And what they say to you is fully representative of what they believe?
I hope they all made it to your wedding and left you fat white envelopes. |
Why say anything at all if that's not what they believe?
The point is that not every so-called "adjosshi" cares about breaking your relationship up with the K-girl. Some do and some don't.
Yes I know this runs counter to the common view on Dave's which apparently seems to be that every single male Korean spends his free time plotting and planning how to come between a Western foreigner and a Korean female. |
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