Korean Job Discussion Forums

[myenglishisno]

I read an article about this awhile back (about Gen. Ys basically being entitled and not being able to take criticism) and thought "that's not me."

Then I realized a short while back that every time I'm criticized by a superior, I automatically start making excuses, fighting back and then I don't change my pattern of behaviour immediately. I've really been trying to work on it by smiling and nodding and trying to implement their advice rather than reject it outright.

Recently, I fell privy to a few people of the same cultural background and age group being criticized and lo and behold, it was the same as me but I'd actually say quite worse (I've been working on it and they haven't noticed it yet).

I'm wondering, has anyone else noticed this kind of behaviour from 20 somethings?

How can I improve myself? The thing is, I take any kind of criticism to heart and it really bogs me down. The slightest bit will ruin my whole week . I guess I'm not used to it. I've been working for years but most of that work has been here in the land of no feedback. My new boss is the sort that is really quick to give feedback.

How do you take criticism?

[AlastairKirby]

This behaviour is not unique to people in their 20s.

If feedback makes you feel bad then it hit a nerve. It is something you need to work on. As long as you are aware of it and working on it then it isn't a problem.

Of course the problem with feedback in Korea is mixed messages "Be more fun/less games" etc

[alljokingaside]

I feel it also depends on the nature of the criticism. Some criticism, if valid, I'll take and tip over like a fattening cow. If they're on some BS, however- like they're having a bad day and decide to take it out on me, like if they decide to judge my performance, worth, or person with less consideration it'd take to rent a movie, etc.- then I have no problem defending my actions. If worse comes to worst, I'll just let the vitriol seep through and pay them their just deserts back at a later time.

[The Floating World]

We are evolutionary hardwired to be like this. It's deep down in the reptillian (limbic system) part of our brain.

Someone criticises us, we lose status. We feel fear or fright.

Thus it provokes a fight or flight stimulous so we can regain equilibrium. We either ignore the advice / criticism / counter argument (hello dave's esl cafe...) which is flight or we counter it (which is fight and on dave's would be searching through wiki or google for any piece of quotable information no matter how specious or spurious in order to bolster your argument - junior?) by arguing back.

This is actully how reason came to being. Nature has no use for human reason. But it evolved not because it always reflects how the world IS but so those with the strongest capability to use it can have the greatest status and thus impact in society by shooting down everybody else's alternatives.

Now, on a hopeful note, we might go on to say that in our societies our parliamanets and senates etc are places where the people get to hear the strongest lines of reasoned arguments and choose between them, thus the masses get the best ideas which will help with human development and evolution... And before you roll your eyes, bear in mind what nature sees as the best future for us, may not be in line wih our hopes... (although a lot of our hopes and dreams do seem to come true - flight, conquering our environments, transendance of boundaries - globalisation and the informaton revolution etc.... just not in the WAY we would like... )

On a cynical note, I give you Hitler's manipulation of a nation with terrible consequences...

I'll leave you to check the 'ability to reason good,' 'ability to reason bad' or'ability to reason, mixed blessing' box on the way out...

[Julius]

[edwardcatflap]

[myenglishisno]

[bueblo]

As an artist, I pretty much have to learn the art of taking criticism, constructive or not..

Provided the criticism isn't just some person being an asshat, I will take it into consideration. Heck, sometimes even if the other person IS being an asshat, if they have valid criticisms in there somewhere, I'll take that into consideration as well... after stewing about how much I didn't like said person.

I think there is a general problem though, of people failing to take criticism that would better them, and instead, they end up being defensive or making excuses. At that point, you start to stagnate..

[bucheon bum]

It's definitely not a generational thing, my office is proof of that. Some of the worst offenders of the practice you describe are baby boomers. Perhaps that's one reason they've been in the same position for 20+ years...

Anyway, I also had the same revelation about a month ago: I also jump to "explanations" and excuses (which isn't pretty, but I think it is better than acting super defensive and taking it as a personal attack as some others do). I'm going to try to bite my tongue and be better at accepting criticism. And I'm a 30-something that is on the Gen-X/Gen-Y border.

In short, I think it is human nature that isn't specific to Gen Y.

[Julius]

[PeteJB]

Koreans are like sensitive little teenagers when it comes to criticism. But, that is just because of different culture, right?

[The Floating World]

[Mix1]

[adzee1]

Im 31 and have no problem taking criticism but like someone else said here its often difficult to fathom.

When I first started teaching here I was teaching the same as I have for 3 years and i was told to liven up the classes and make the kids have more fun.. Ok fair enough I thought, so I did exactly what they told me then about 2 weeks later I was told that I have a discipline problem with the children and that I should do less fun and game activities with them...

roll on 2 days later and again told " why is isnt the class fun for the children?"
All the way through these comments they maintain the view that I am good teacher but that they want something different every few days.
It doesnt really bother me as I know they have no clue what they actually want and that whatever I do will be deemed as wrong. Some people it seems just cannot be pleased.

[Died By Bear]

"20-somethings can't take criticism"


Hope they can take middle-age coming right around the corner.