Korean Job Discussion Forums

[PatrickGHBusan]

That was the last sentence of a post where I gave an example of someone the OP may have considered a loser based on age and superficial judgement. You took that and DECIDED that I was basing my judgement of success on material gain. That was not what I meant at all.

Again its all good, and we can certainly put this to rest. Now if you need to have the last proverbial post in this exchange, its all yours.

Cheers

[The Cosmic Hum]

[The Floating World]

Let's tear apart and put this simplistic worldview op to rest finally.

1. How about posters like moi who could've been married had they wanted to but chose not to for several reasons. example - at uni a Japanese gf wanted to get engaged and her rich media mogul Father could've got me a very decent job in the industry (my major was drama, theater and televison studies) but chose not to as felt they weren't ready / weren't in love. Or for any other reason.

2. How about teachers in korea in their 40's or older whom have been married and divorced several times?

[PatrickGHBusan]

[Mix1]

I think the OP is trying to be helpful in a way, but "loser" is a subjective term, and he's using it very broadly. I used to think the same way when I first came here but lately I try to live and let live.

When I see someone here who looks like they are in their 40's I try to remember I don't know their story or anything about their life. And I know that when I reach that age I don't know where I'll be so I'm not going to judge.

Also, maybe marriage isn't high on everyone's list. Some people are more independent than others and it just doesn't appeal to them. Same with having kids.

And, if one can have an active dating life into their 30's or even 40's and beyond, WHY is it always the best option to immediately settle down and marry when one hits some arbitrary number? "Hmm...things are going well and the world is my oyster. Let's put a stop to that right now. I'm getting married and having children. That way I will have to feed the children and throw balls to them, and have occasional sex with the same woman for the rest of my life."

Maybe some are ready to throw in the towel sooner than others. Perhaps some are just not cut out for marriage life until their testosterone starts to fade or whatever and they become too fat/bald/etc. and have to settle before it's too late.

People may peak at different times in life too. I work with a 25 year old who acts and almost looks like he's in his late 40's. HE should probably marry soon.
BUT I also work with some late 30 somethings who look great and seem like they are just a few years out of college. No real hurry for them.

To each his own.

[PatrickGHBusan]

Interesting post Mix1 except that you might want to work on how you present different options.

I mean every time you mention someone in stable relationship or married it comes with a negative qualifier attached and you make it sound like some last resort thing.

I would venture to say that the reality is far more diverse than that.

For example, who says someone that is married is less indepentant than someone who is single?

Interesting anyway.

[Mix1]

[shifty]

From my experience I have always believed in getting hitched if you have the good fortune to put it together. There are huge benefits in terms of

1) a common goal
2) gives life meaning when there are children involved, ie, you know why you are getting up in the morning.
3) regular sex. If the two of you are sexually compatible, it's like what Paul Newman once said viz the hamburger and steak.
4) allows one to grow up as you overcome the various hurdles.
5) double income with shared assets.

As I say I've always thought this. However, I've since come to see that people are different. It's actually Daves that has made me modify my views, upon reading some very convincing posts over the years that made me realise that it's horses for courses.

My impressions still tend nevertheless to favor the married life, if you can swing it. It appears more difficult nowadays to put together with the prevailing job market, house prices and other.

[PatrickGHBusan]

By thw way Mix1, just to be clear, I completely agree with you that not everyone is meant to get married or even be in a long term relationship. It is better not to get involve in one in such a case!

The flip side to that is that many guys portray (not you in here but many guys do that) marriage as some sort of last resort thing and use very childish terms when it comes to describing it.

Things like: "when I HAVE to I'll get married" or "Eventually I will have to give in and marry her".

Quick hits: "She" is not your mother and hence you do not to give into anything...marriage or a longterm relationship is about WANTING to be with someone right?


By the way, marriage does not destroy or prevent freedom or new experiences...

[radcon]

[cert43]

Yeah and those Robots are doing ESL way to well these days..

[Mix1]

[Mix1]

[tigershark]

Ugh this thread is depressing. I hope the OP's wife fornicates with one of his loser friends as karmaic payback for this post. That will teach him.

[PatrickGHBusan]