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Marc W
Joined: 04 Dec 2011
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 Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:26 pm Post subject: Invited at the weekend |
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Hello people,
I am going to Korea in about 6, 7 hours. It is my first time there. I am a software engineer, I have to do a job for two weeks. So this includes a weekend. I was actually looking forward having the weekend for myself. I want to study something, not job related. German language. I wanted to do just nothing. Now a senior Korean colleague working in the Netherlands has instructed my coworker in Korea to 'amuse me' during the weekend. He told me he was really bored in the weekend in the Netherlands, and won't let that happen to me. I am not bored that quickly. I am not looking forward to the invitation. Not at all. Can I politely turn him down, saying I have to study, without insulting them?
Marc |
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litebear
Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Holland
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| Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 10:50 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, I think you could in this instance as you are only there for 2 weeks, also the nature of your job/circumstances of being in Korea makes you way more of an equal than a TEFL teacher. Try and remember the guy who has been instructed to take you probably doesn't want to bother his arse to do it either. Please be aware you will get a load of angry responses from people who hate Korea and Koreans (rightly or wrongly) and will say that they are forced to go out regularly by their bosses or coworkers but your situation is very different so you should be ok.
I would advise really over egging the pudding with the study angle. Tell them you have an exam very shortly after you return and absolutely must have the whole weekend to study. Be apologetic and grateful that they wanted to take you out in the first place, maybe even drop an email to the guy in NL so your assigned handler doesn't get the blame.
But yeah, do all that and I think you'll be totally fine. BTW, do you work in the Netherlands, too? |
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Marc W
Joined: 04 Dec 2011
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| Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:08 am Post subject: |
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| litebear wrote: |
| Please be aware you will get a load of angry responses from people who hate Korea and Koreans (rightly or wrongly) and will say that they are forced to go out regularly by their bosses or coworkers |
Well I don't hate anyone, but I think there is a difference in culture that can annoy you. I think the employer in Korea is more expected to be a happy member of the company family. Which is of course the exact reason why I ask this question.
But it also depends on the company. Once in the Netherlands I worked for a company, totally Dutch original, that exaggerated the 'we should all be friends' thing too.
| litebear wrote: |
But yeah, do all that and I think you'll be totally fine. BTW, do you work in the Netherlands, too? |
Yes I am Dutch, I work in the Netherlands for a company partly owned by Koreans. Sometimes people have to go to the 'mother company' in Deagu. For me it's the first time though. |
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litebear
Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Holland
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| Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:29 am Post subject: |
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| Marc W wrote: |
| litebear wrote: |
| Please be aware you will get a load of angry responses from people who hate Korea and Koreans (rightly or wrongly) and will say that they are forced to go out regularly by their bosses or coworkers |
Well I don't hate anyone, but I think there is a difference in culture that can annoy you. I think the employer in Korea is more expected to be a happy member of the company family. Which is of course the exact reason why I ask this question.
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I wasn't really clear in my first post. I just mean that people will try and compare their situation to yours and I don't think the comparison will be very accurate. If you are willing to tell a white lie you will have the weekend to yourself no problem. |
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curlygirl
Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Location: Pundang, Seohyeon dong
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| Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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I would just invent a friend and explain that you'll be hanging out with that person on the weekend. Say it like this: "You're so kind to offer to take me out and show me around, but my friend is working as an English teacher in Daegu and I'm going to take this opportunity to catch up with him".
Best of luck  |
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PigeonFart
Joined: 27 Apr 2006
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| Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Agreed with the poster above. Even better, make it out to be a cousin rather than a friend. They'll accept that excuse with no loss of face because blood ties are very important...Family first in korea. |
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I-am-me
Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Location: Hermit Kingdom
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| Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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Let me get this straight....you are coming to Korea for the first time in your life and you want to sit in a room studying German? You are either a fool or a troll.  |
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ThingsComeAround
Joined: 07 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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@Marc
I met a German here who said Seoul is far more interesting than all of Germany. Going out for a little while (Friday dinner) could take the edge off and help you to relax a bit before your plan.
After a moment of hanging out, you won't have to repeat it again. Its better than turning down an offer to be entertained. |
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tatertot
Joined: 21 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 12:23 am Post subject: |
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| I-am-me wrote: |
| Let me get this straight....you are coming to Korea for the first time in your life and you want to sit in a room studying German? You are either a fool or a troll. |
The OP isn't going on vacation, he's working. It doesn't sound like he has any interest in exploring Korea. I don't think that makes him a fool or a troll. My uncle travels to different countries all the time for work (similar to the OPs, I imagine) and I doubt very much that he wants to be "entertained" all the time. Travelling (for work) is hard work. |
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isitts
Joined: 25 Dec 2008
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 12:36 am Post subject: Re: Invited at the weekend |
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| Marc W wrote: |
Can I politely turn him down, saying I have to study, without insulting them?
Marc |
In short, no. You can't. And why would you want to? To study German? Are you for real?
By the way, this is not job related. This should be on the general forum. |
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Marc W
Joined: 04 Dec 2011
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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| I-am-me wrote: |
| Let me get this straight....you are coming to Korea for the first time in your life and you want to sit in a room studying German? You are either a fool or a troll. |
I am not a troll so that makes me a fool?
Pfff, actually, I have got euh, a date. With a Korean girl. I told them that too, I don't know if that is wise. By the way, traveling for work is hard work. I was the three first days here with my boss. He insisted on going to bars until late at night, while I had a jet lag and I have to finish a project in a tight two weeks schedule. He is here just for talk. I have been with my Dutch manager and the Korean manager, and they only talk boring business stuff. The coworker I am doing the project with, is a nice guy, but he speaks about 50-100 words of English. Traveling for work is just frustrating, boring. In the weekend you want to be by yourself. And if you don't, you want to be with a 'neutral' person. One that, if you say the wrong thing, won't tell something to ruin your career. But may-be not going, and dating another totally different person is already a bad thing to do.
By the way, met the girl on a website called koreancupid, I am pretty nervous. Korean girls are strange. First they ignore you, then they hit on you. I think they ignored me, perhaps, because I was walking around with a high boss of the company. I also asked the departmentmanager, I think, secretary if she had time. She said why don't you go with mister Kwon. I say, mister Kwon not pretty, you are pretty. Ah, that is not good either is it? She said she already had plans. Then she giggled and smiled like she. I don't know...
Wish me luck I need it!!! I need it....
Last edited by Marc W on Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:28 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Marc W
Joined: 04 Dec 2011
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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| tatertot wrote: |
| I doubt very much that he wants to be "entertained" all the time. Travelling (for work) is hard work. |
Yes!!
You get tired of being around people and constantly watching your step, think about what you must and cannot say. And you are not sent to the other side of the world for fun. I am being sent because there is a big problem. The being entertained, is again work! It is again watching your step. If I would not study, I would explore Korea a bit, yes, but by myself. Alone. I was planning doing that. But n�t with somebody from the management, or with a close coworker. Alone or with a cute girl or something. You can understand that? |
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Marc W
Joined: 04 Dec 2011
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:42 pm Post subject: |
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| tatertot wrote: |
| It doesn't sound like he has any interest in exploring Korea. |
I am very much interested in exploring Korea, but by mys�lf. Not with people from work, either Dutch or Korean. I really do not like mixing free time and work time, and free time social environment, and work environment. In the Netherlands people also complain about that. I think for Koreans, I am ever a stranger bird. |
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Marc W
Joined: 04 Dec 2011
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:44 pm Post subject: Re: Invited at the weekend |
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| isitts wrote: |
In short, no. You can't. And why would you want to? To study German? Are you for real?
By the way, this is not job related. This should be on the general forum. |
Oh, place it where you want. But the simple fact that you, then according to yourself, cannot turn them down makes it jobrelated. Since it would effect your job. |
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