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shifty
Joined: 21 Jun 2004
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 Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 8:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Sorry, in my cups when I wrote last post. |
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youtuber
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
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| Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:58 am Post subject: |
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The reason most of us don't take criticism well is because most people don't know how to give criticism.
Criticism should be given in a positive, non-blaming way.
Criticism needs to be given delicately. |
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Pa Jan Jo A Hamnida
Joined: 27 Oct 2006
Location: Not Korea
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| Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Nah. Millenialls can't take criticism because the reality of not being special is too much to bear. |
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Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:10 am Post subject: |
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I grew up with 5 brothers and sisters and was rarely the centre of attention. Criticism rolls off me like water off a ducks back.
Maybe its just kids who grew up without siblings, (or with only one sibling) that can't handle it. They get used to being pandered to. Its the modern trend toward smaller families. |
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shifty
Joined: 21 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:08 am Post subject: |
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Criticism leaves a subconscious objection which is very difficult to winkle out again.
For example, if I get even remotely criticised here on Daves the criticism along with the name of its author sticks in my mind.
Then I bide my time. Sooner or later the attacker will make a mistake and ZAP!!! 
Shows that it's best to be nice.
The only time I personally criticise on Daves is where a poster comes across as wantonly critical of others. That gets up my nose and I don't care what becomes of it. |
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AlastairKirby
Joined: 29 Aug 2011
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 10:27 am Post subject: |
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| shifty wrote: |
Criticism leaves a subconscious objection which is very difficult to winkle out again.
For example, if I get even remotely criticised here on Daves the criticism along with the name of its author sticks in my mind.
Then I bide my time. Sooner or later the attacker will make a mistake and ZAP!!!
Shows that it's best to be nice.
The only time I personally criticise on Daves is where a poster comes across as wantonly critical of others. That gets up my nose and I don't care what becomes of it. |
You smell. |
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shifty
Joined: 21 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:23 am Post subject: |
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| AlastairKirby wrote: |
| shifty wrote: |
Criticism leaves a subconscious objection which is very difficult to winkle out again.
For example, if I get even remotely criticised here on Daves the criticism along with the name of its author sticks in my mind.
Then I bide my time. Sooner or later the attacker will make a mistake and ZAP!!!
Shows that it's best to be nice.
The only time I personally criticise on Daves is where a poster comes across as wantonly critical of others. That gets up my nose and I don't care what becomes of it. |
You smell. |
Yeah, I remember you Ali. You're one of those that respond to the anonymity of a chat forum by acting the predator.
I hope for your sake you're not still calling Korea 'over here' from there in the UK.
And try to quit the childish lines like 'you smell'. You have to realise that the reason you can't get back into Korea is not only due to an employer's market. |
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AlastairKirby
Joined: 29 Aug 2011
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 6:19 pm Post subject: |
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| shifty wrote: |
| AlastairKirby wrote: |
| shifty wrote: |
Criticism leaves a subconscious objection which is very difficult to winkle out again.
For example, if I get even remotely criticised here on Daves the criticism along with the name of its author sticks in my mind.
Then I bide my time. Sooner or later the attacker will make a mistake and ZAP!!!
Shows that it's best to be nice.
The only time I personally criticise on Daves is where a poster comes across as wantonly critical of others. That gets up my nose and I don't care what becomes of it. |
You smell. |
Yeah, I remember you Ali. You're one of those that respond to the anonymity of a chat forum by acting the predator.
I hope for your sake you're not still calling Korea 'over here' from there in the UK.
And try to quit the childish lines like 'you smell'. You have to realise that the reason you can't get back into Korea is not only due to an employer's market. |
It was a joke. Clearly misjudged. Sorry you misread it as snark. |
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AlastairKirby
Joined: 29 Aug 2011
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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Clearly my childish comments need to be reined in a bit. It doesn't create a good impression. Easy to misread childish language as the product of an immature mind. So your post was actually useful to me because it made me think "Why did I post that?" and "How the hell was he supposed to see it as a joke?"
To my recollection there have been two occasions when I have acted the 'predator'. When confronted I realised my mistake and apolgized. Both were occasions when I was feeling pretty low and it is easy to take it out on someone online rather than vent at your family. I'm not one of these people that likes to get in to 5 page back and forth internet arguments. I'm not afraid to take a step back and see that I over-reacted. I'm also not afraid to say sorry when I'm wrong.
I'm going back to Korea in February. I was very complacent about getting a job in the Summer. I took a pretty big shock to my system and my ego. I had to be honest with myself and see that I was acting entitled. Just because I had ties to Korea and I liked it there doesn't mean a job was going to land in my lap. I was treating getting a job like ordering a pizza, and those days are over. I had to smarten up my act, be proactive and take myself and the job search seriously.
Reading your post made me think "That's not me" but then again how are people supposed to think otherwise? How often do we stop ourselves and think "What impression am I giving other people?"
So on topic then. I think a problem for our generation is that we are so obsessed with the freedom to do/say/post whatever we want online that we lack the ability to take a step outside ourselves and think of how it looks to people that don't know us. |
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Kuros
Joined: 27 Apr 2004
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Julius wrote: |
I grew up with 5 brothers and sisters and was rarely the centre of attention. Criticism rolls off me like water off a ducks back.
Maybe its just kids who grew up without siblings, (or with only one sibling) that can't handle it. They get used to being pandered to. Its the modern trend toward smaller families. |
Perhaps. But it couldn't be just that: a pair of critical parents would make it worse for an only child. There has to be something else at play. |
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shifty
Joined: 21 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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| AlastairKirby wrote: |
Clearly my childish comments need to be reined in a bit. It doesn't create a good impression. Easy to misread childish language as the product of an immature mind. So your post was actually useful to me because it made me think "Why did I post that?" and "How the hell was he supposed to see it as a joke?"
To my recollection there have been two occasions when I have acted the 'predator'. When confronted I realised my mistake and apolgized. Both were occasions when I was feeling pretty low and it is easy to take it out on someone online rather than vent at your family. I'm not one of these people that likes to get in to 5 page back and forth internet arguments. I'm not afraid to take a step back and see that I over-reacted. I'm also not afraid to say sorry when I'm wrong.
I'm going back to Korea in February. I was very complacent about getting a job in the Summer. I took a pretty big shock to my system and my ego. I had to be honest with myself and see that I was acting entitled. Just because I had ties to Korea and I liked it there doesn't mean a job was going to land in my lap. I was treating getting a job like ordering a pizza, and those days are over. I had to smarten up my act, be proactive and take myself and the job search seriously.
Reading your post made me think "That's not me" but then again how are people supposed to think otherwise? How often do we stop ourselves and think "What impression am I giving other people?"
So on topic then. I think a problem for our generation is that we are so obsessed with the freedom to do/say/post whatever we want online that we lack the ability to take a step outside ourselves and think of how it looks to people that don't know us. |
Good post, Ali!!! Very generous and big of you to write that!! That you can take a step back like that shows a bright future ahead.
Best wishes for the Feb gig and well done on your tenacity!! |
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pegasus64128
Joined: 20 Aug 2011
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| Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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| AlastairKirby wrote: |
This behaviour is not unique to people in their 20s.
If feedback makes you feel bad then it hit a nerve. It is something you need to work on. As long as you are aware of it and working on it then it isn't a problem.
Of course the problem with feedback in Korea is mixed messages "Be more fun/less games" etc |
Yeah, true, but people generally slowly get conditioned to accept some level of criticism as their balls drop. The more status and positive attributes you have, the less you can take criticism. Many people in their 20's (especially nowadays) are pathetic people - no offense.
Example - (sorry to knock on Americans) - an America girl in her 20's that gets told that it's not necessarily all bad that Korean women get told what to do by their boyfriends. Despite, comparatively very poor social cohesion in America compare to other developed countries, high divorce rate, and weaker family ties, said girl blows a fuse. In her mind, fat obese, pushy, tomboy unfeminine women are right to have power, the K-girls are in the wrong. The truth of course is somewhere in between. |
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