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Dodge7
Joined: 21 Oct 2011
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 7:22 am Post subject: My experience living in Korea for 2 years, then going home |
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I recently just got back to Korea a week ago from visitng home in America. What a difference these two countries are.
It all started on the bus ride to Incheon International airport. Just as we were going over the bridge, the song that goes, "I'm walking on Sunshine, whoaaa ohhh! and don't it feel GOOD!" was blarring on the radio. It was a direct expression of my soul leaping for joy that i was escaping this pit, if even for a week. A huge smile came across my face; I was leaving this depressed country and stepping into the sunshine.
I got home and it was magnificent. I got around with ease, understood what people around me were saying (and enjoyed listening in), saw familiar surroundings and ate at all of my favorite restaurants. I must have put on 2 kilos.
The more I was home, the more i realized how much better it is than Korea--not because it was "home," but because there were no stares, there was no passive aggression, there was a feeling of belonging that I never had in Korea.
Korea has a way of keeping you an outsider and making sure you stay there. In America (or probably your home country, too), there is a sense of unity--no matter your race color or creed. I walked around with my Korean wife and nobody batted an eye, nobody looked her up and down in disgust that she was with a "dirty foreigner," nobody swore at us in disgust because we were together or called her a "Korean *beep*" because she was with me--yes all of these things have happened to us here. it was heaven.
I didn't need a drink when I was home, I was 100% stress free. But in Korea I drink nearly every night from depression.
This isn't a call to everybody here to give me advice on how to live a more rewarding in this country. There's nothing even remotely possible that i can do to duplicate the feel good feelings I had--not that i was living in my home country again, but that I was just OUT of Korea.
This place just seems to suck every ounce of happiness out of me, and I must have said a dozens of times that i didn't want to come back here my last night home. I wanted to stay OUT of Korea. But I have financial obligations here.
People. Please. If you are reading this and you are on the fence about coming to Korea, or perhaps thinking of teaching English in another country--CHOOSE ANOTHER COUNTRY!!! I feel it is my duty to forewarn you about this hellhole. It will eat you alive. It didn't at first, and maybe it hasn't to you yet, but slowly over time, the aura of this place just begins to sour and grow more negative with each passing year.
I dont hate Korea, but man, I pray for a way out of this country and once I find it, I will never look this way again. I hate it here.
If you can get out, GO! Save yourself. Don't worry about me, I'll follow soon enough, but really, save yourself and never look back! |
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T-J

Joined: 10 Oct 2008 Location: Seoul EunpyungGu Yeonsinnae
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 7:43 am Post subject: |
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Haha. You've only been here two years? And have gotten married? You've barely gotten out of the honeymoon phase, in more ways than one. Hate to break it to you but you've another 8 to 13 years or so before you even start to figure out this country let alone understand whether it's right for you for the long haul. Long short you're green and not unique or amusing. Seen it countless times. I do hope your little rant helped you relieve some of your stress though. How would you ever have survived here two long years back in the day when there was no Internet to vent on?
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Dodge7
Joined: 21 Oct 2011
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:01 am Post subject: |
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T-J wrote: |
Haha. You've only been here two years? And have gotten married? You've barely gotten out of the honeymoon phase, in more ways than one. Hate to break it to you but you've another 8 to 13 years or so before you even start to figure out this country let alone understand whether it's right for you for the long haul. Long short you're green and not unique or amusing. Seen it countless times. I do hope your little rant helped you relieve some of your stress though. How would you ever have survived here two long years back in the day when there was no Internet to vent on?
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Im not green, and you sir a pretentious d-bag. Enjoy your time here, because this is probably the only place anyone ever notices you. Enjoy what little inflated ego you cultivated in this pisshole, because we all know nobody cared about you from where ever you came from. Loser. |
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AlastairKirby
Joined: 29 Aug 2011 Location: UK
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:31 am Post subject: |
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Korea can't be all bad. It did give you a wife. |
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bucheon bum
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 12:31 pm Post subject: |
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Dodge7 wrote: |
T-J wrote: |
Haha. You've only been here two years? And have gotten married? You've barely gotten out of the honeymoon phase, in more ways than one. Hate to break it to you but you've another 8 to 13 years or so before you even start to figure out this country let alone understand whether it's right for you for the long haul. Long short you're green and not unique or amusing. Seen it countless times. I do hope your little rant helped you relieve some of your stress though. How would you ever have survived here two long years back in the day when there was no Internet to vent on?
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Im not green, and you sir a pretentious d-bag. Enjoy your time here, because this is probably the only place anyone ever notices you. Enjoy what little inflated ego you cultivated in this pisshole, because we all know nobody cared about you from where ever you came from. Loser. |
I don't think anyone who whines and whines about the place they choose to live in has any right to call another person a loser (except if describing that other person as a loser like him or herself). And in all of that whining, your only complaints were 1. people staring at you 2. being considered an outsider 3. Ignorant, racist people who talked trash to you. Wow, rough stuff!
You were back in the States for a week. You were happy to see friends and family. Perhaps if you had stayed longer, you would have been reminded of the ways Korea is better and the things that you didn't miss about the USA whatsoever. |
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BananaBan
Joined: 16 Nov 2011
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:57 pm Post subject: |
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i am preparing my documents for a job offer in Korea
this post has really scared me
do you think Dodge7's experience is of the majority, or just the minority?
whats the other side of the coin? |
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AlastairKirby
Joined: 29 Aug 2011 Location: UK
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:00 pm Post subject: |
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BananaBan wrote: |
i am preparing my documents for a job offer in Korea
this post has really scared me
do you think Dodge7's experience is of the majority, or just the minority?
whats the other side of the coin? |
You will go through phases of hating/loving it here. But if you're lucky and meet a good group of people you can get quite settled. I actually left because I thought I was getting too complacent. I look back on the job I had and feel really ashamed that I didn't put in more effort.
Dodge is just venting. If he really hated Korea would he have married a Korean? That's a pretty big commitment to make to this country.
When you visit your home country you can eat what you want, hang around with old friends, be spoiled by your friends and family. No job to worry about. I don't have a Korean wife or girlfriend but a friend from Korea came to visit. She made me realise how great the UK can seem to someone from Korea. Sharing your enjoyment of aspects of your native culture can be wonderful. (Her verdict: Cadbury's Chocolate: good. English Mustard: bad!)
It isn't living at home. Imagine how much you would enjoy your home country if you could just eat, drink, and spend whatever you want?
After a year or so coming back to Korea from a vacation home doesn't mean the start of an adventure anymore. It's work, family, and responsibility.
A lot of what gets posted here is venting. I myself am guilty of whining a lot when I couldn't get a job. Don't pay too much attention to it. You're just starting out. This guy is married. He is having a different experience than you will. |
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crisdean
Joined: 04 Feb 2010 Location: Seoul Special City
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:21 pm Post subject: |
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AlastairKirby wrote: |
I actually left because I thought I was getting too complacent. I look back on the job I had and feel really ashamed that I didn't put in more effort. |
This is exactly how I'm feeling right now. I think it's time for me to leave and move on to something, anything, else. Of course I may not have a choice (which could be a good thing) if these rumours about SMOE cutting jobs is true I seriously doubt my lazy ass will be one of the few teachers offered a renewal. |
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bekinseki
Joined: 31 Aug 2011 Location: Korea
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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Where do you live?
My experiences in Korea are the exact opposite. I've been embraced by the local culture, participating closely with the music scene, having ties with the arts scene, and being invited to participate in society by the government.
I rarely get singled out by Koreans or even stared at, yet back home it happens all the time. Someone's trying to pick a fight or they don't like what I stand for or who my friends are. I remember getting harassed just for playing soccer, or the way I dress, or even what part of town I'm in. Koreans are certainly more pacifist, at least towards me. |
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pkang0202

Joined: 09 Mar 2007
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:34 pm Post subject: Re: My experience living in Korea for 2 years, then going ho |
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Dodge7 wrote: |
I recently just got back to Korea a week ago from visitng home in America. What a difference these two countries are.
It all started on the bus ride to Incheon International airport. Just as we were going over the bridge, the song that goes, "I'm walking on Sunshine, whoaaa ohhh! and don't it feel GOOD!" was blarring on the radio. It was a direct expression of my soul leaping for joy that i was escaping this pit, if even for a week. A huge smile came across my face; I was leaving this depressed country and stepping into the sunshine.
I got home and it was magnificent. I got around with ease, understood what people around me were saying (and enjoyed listening in), saw familiar surroundings and ate at all of my favorite restaurants. I must have put on 2 kilos.
The more I was home, the more i realized how much better it is than Korea--not because it was "home," but because there were no stares, there was no passive aggression, there was a feeling of belonging that I never had in Korea.
Korea has a way of keeping you an outsider and making sure you stay there. In America (or probably your home country, too), there is a sense of unity--no matter your race color or creed. I walked around with my Korean wife and nobody batted an eye, nobody looked her up and down in disgust that she was with a "dirty foreigner," nobody swore at us in disgust because we were together or called her a "Korean *beep*" because she was with me--yes all of these things have happened to us here. it was heaven.
I didn't need a drink when I was home, I was 100% stress free. But in Korea I drink nearly every night from depression.
This isn't a call to everybody here to give me advice on how to live a more rewarding in this country. There's nothing even remotely possible that i can do to duplicate the feel good feelings I had--not that i was living in my home country again, but that I was just OUT of Korea.
This place just seems to suck every ounce of happiness out of me, and I must have said a dozens of times that i didn't want to come back here my last night home. I wanted to stay OUT of Korea. But I have financial obligations here.
People. Please. If you are reading this and you are on the fence about coming to Korea, or perhaps thinking of teaching English in another country--CHOOSE ANOTHER COUNTRY!!! I feel it is my duty to forewarn you about this hellhole. It will eat you alive. It didn't at first, and maybe it hasn't to you yet, but slowly over time, the aura of this place just begins to sour and grow more negative with each passing year.
I dont hate Korea, but man, I pray for a way out of this country and once I find it, I will never look this way again. I hate it here.
If you can get out, GO! Save yourself. Don't worry about me, I'll follow soon enough, but really, save yourself and never look back! |
You have just experienced what it is like being "non-White" in the USA. Congratulations! Now whenever you see a black, asian, indian, latino, or anyone non-white person in the US, you can empathize with what they gotta deal with. While America might be "magnificent" to you, there are plenty of people living there that struggle with being the "outsider" based on their looks. |
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erasmus
Joined: 11 Sep 2010
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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Notice the OP's vitriolic response to criticism. This is not a person who is likely to respond well to the vagaries of life abroad. Take him home and set him up in his comfort zone and he's fine; remove him and place him in an environment to which he is unaccustomed and not in total sympathy with and he loses his grip. Some people are able to ride the rocky road of life abroad, others, not so much. There is truth here, though; if you feel the need to belong to a particular culture, this life is not for you; if you are bothered by being stared at or treated rudely (this is pretty rare in my experience) because of your outsider status, this life is not for you. There are slings and arrows to be suffered here, perhaps even more than in some other countries, but to end on a question: OP, have you ever lived in Vietnam, or Cambodia, or Indonesia, or India, or even China for that matter (for if so, your forum posts from that time would surely make for some thrilling reading)? |
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Underwaterbob

Joined: 08 Jan 2005 Location: In Cognito
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:40 pm Post subject: |
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Seven years in Korea. Of the hundreds I've met, I've never met a non-Korean living here who had had/was having as bad an experience as I read about on a daily basis on Dave's. |
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minos
Joined: 01 Dec 2010 Location: kOREA
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:49 pm Post subject: |
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BananaBan wrote: |
i am preparing my documents for a job offer in Korea
this post has really scared me
do you think Dodge7's experience is of the majority, or just the minority?
whats the other side of the coin? |
Dodge7's experience can be summed up like this:
Did you like your job? Were you getting screwed?
My best times in Korea relied entirely on job and location. Second was friends and community.
When I was making good money with an easy PS gig, It was a blast. During times of job turbulence or less money, things were less appealing.
Folks I know who worked crappier jobs or were ripped off couldn't wait to get home...even if they actually loved the country itself.
Korea works best as an adventure and financially rewarding one at that. Also, the younger the better! More girls to date and younger Koreans are less burdened by workaholic hours or social obligations. Once koreans hit their mid-late 20s, they slow down much more and focus on getting married(usually to a korean) and saving for the future.
I'm leaving soon after 3 years. I don't regret it at all.
Best piece of advice I recieved:
"Korea is what you make of it"
and
"Know when to fold them/when to leave"
Unless your going the marriage or teacher route, Korea's pretty hard to make it in outside of teaching. I do work outside of the industry, but competition and money is fierce. Language and visa concerns are consistent problems.
If you think your gonna get one of these sweet expat jobs in a company, think again. The biggest problem is the visa. It's possible, but it's not like if you learn korean well, samsung will be knocking down the door to offer you a gangnam apartment and $100k a year. I've known people who have done it, but it's rare and requires luck more than anything. If they wanna hire foreigners, they usually go for third world professionals who can work for cheap or top level US workers. |
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bekinseki
Joined: 31 Aug 2011 Location: Korea
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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Underwaterbob wrote: |
Seven years in Korea. Of the hundreds I've met, I've never met a non-Korean living here who had had/was having as bad an experience as I read about on a daily basis on Dave's. |
I met a few. One was vegan and lost about 20 pounds in his first couple months so he left. Another was addicted to prescription drugs and left the country to escape all the debts he owed. One other was a chronic liar whose lies caught up to him and he left the country after having burned all his bridges. A fourth was too young, female, smoked, and had a neck tattoo. |
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soyoungmikey
Joined: 29 Jun 2009
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:58 pm Post subject: |
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T.J. you do assume you are an authority. I've been here 4 years and have a great job, friends, wife etc. I know others who have been here 10 + years with family, children etc. and the OP is correct foreigners are always considered outisiders. In a country with a population which is the most homogenous in the world is still considered by many to be xenophobic. It's a place to stay a few years and then leave. Those who can't leave have no other option but to stay (i.e. losers) unless they are the ones who have staked their career in linguistics or EFL. Even then Korea is not the best place to be even if they are in a university (like myself). So the OP is correct, it is very exclusionary and you don't have to live here for 8 or more years to get the country. Seems like T.J. is trying to mark himself out like an insider and be a you know what to others. Just listen to Tompazz (sp?); he's has a sober take of the country. |
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