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3 young Korean dudes bad mouthed me at restaurant
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Julius



Joined: 27 Jul 2006

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

adzee1 wrote:
I am not really bothered by his comments but i know 100% it was meant as an insult, its easy to tell the difference between an insult and someone practicing English.



Actually something similar happened to me today.

I was in the lift and the guy in front of me was talking to his g/f. First he said Up? or down? (referring to the lift). Then he said "crazy lift! crazy".

At this point I was wondering if he is just showing off to his g/f or practising his english. Because he never once even looked at me or made eye contact.

Then as he walked out the lift he said again "crazy! crazy!" in a sort of theatrical exaggeration. At this point I was looking at him but he totally avoided eye contact.


I really don't really get it. Was he trying to ridicule me while simultaneously avoiding all confrontation? Was he trying toappear witty and impress the g/f at my expense? Thats how it felt at least.

maybe next time I'm stood next to an ajosshi I'll start saying " pyongshin ajosshi i-dah" , practise my other korean sewearwords, stare at the floor, and see if anyone thinks I'm referring to them.

This country really does have the wierdest, most insecure oddball behaviours i've ever come across. And its always 40-50 yr old ajosshis!


Last edited by Julius on Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:58 am; edited 2 times in total
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Captain Corea



Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sometimes, a goofball is just a goofball.

There's no figuring them out.
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mdsb87



Joined: 16 Aug 2010
Location: Gyeongsangnam do

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 7:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Many people here advise to get assertive and tell the Koreans what's what because Koreans need to be taught that waygooks have feelings too.

Now let's consider the second main point emerging in this thread: if you confront a Korean they will most likely back down.

Quite easy to confront somebody to teach them a lesson when they are likely to bad down isn' it?

Sounds like some people are giving themselves a confidence boost by taking a really minor problem too seriously and winning a confrontation that they are most likely going to win hands down.

It's a bit of name calling. Nothing to write home about. Shrug it off and chill out!
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Julius



Joined: 27 Jul 2006

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 10:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mdsb87 wrote:
Many people here advise to get assertive and tell the Koreans what's what because Koreans need to be taught that waygooks have feelings too.

Now let's consider the second main point emerging in this thread: if you confront a Korean they will most likely back down.

Quite easy to confront somebody to teach them a lesson when they are likely to bad down isn' it?

Sounds like some people are giving themselves a confidence boost by taking a really minor problem too seriously and winning a confrontation that they are most likely going to win hands down.

It's a bit of name calling. Nothing to write home about. Shrug it off and chill out!


There seems to be an inordinate number of small ajosshi guys aged between 40-55 that act very insecure around foreign people.
The sort of guys that would have problems fighting their way out of a paper bag yet who get to act like kings in a society that is entirely skewed in their favor.
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Steelrails



Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 2:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Julius wrote:
mdsb87 wrote:
Many people here advise to get assertive and tell the Koreans what's what because Koreans need to be taught that waygooks have feelings too.

Now let's consider the second main point emerging in this thread: if you confront a Korean they will most likely back down.

Quite easy to confront somebody to teach them a lesson when they are likely to bad down isn' it?

Sounds like some people are giving themselves a confidence boost by taking a really minor problem too seriously and winning a confrontation that they are most likely going to win hands down.

It's a bit of name calling. Nothing to write home about. Shrug it off and chill out!


There seems to be an inordinate number of small ajosshi guys aged between 40-55 that act very insecure around foreign people.
The sort of guys that would have problems fighting their way out of a paper bag yet who get to act like kings in a society that is entirely skewed in their favor.


How is the society skewed to their favor? You're talking about some guy driving a cab or cooking dumplings. Society is not skewed to them.

Korean society is skewed to the wealthy and attractive and powerful, and random cab driving ajosshi has none of those, no matter what you may believe.

And a foreigner who has those three things has more sway than that ajosshi, no matter what you may believe.
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fermentation



Joined: 22 Jun 2009

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Julius wrote:

Actually something similar happened to me today.

I was in the lift and the guy in front of me was talking to his g/f. First he said Up? or down? (referring to the lift). Then he said "crazy lift! crazy".

At this point I was wondering if he is just showing off to his g/f or practising his english. Because he never once even looked at me or made eye contact.

Then as he walked out the lift he said again "crazy! crazy!" in a sort of theatrical exaggeration. At this point I was looking at him but he totally avoided eye contact.


I really don't really get it. Was he trying to ridicule me while simultaneously avoiding all confrontation? Was he trying toappear witty and impress the g/f at my expense? Thats how it felt at least.

maybe next time I'm stood next to an ajosshi I'll start saying " pyongshin ajosshi i-dah" , practise my other korean sewearwords, stare at the floor, and see if anyone thinks I'm referring to them.

This country really does have the wierdest, most insecure oddball behaviours i've ever come across. And its always 40-50 yr old ajosshis!


I'm not saying it'll be better if people were confrontational, but it is weird how Koreans do this. I've had people scream at me and my friends for speaking English but never once looked at us or even turned to our direction but it was obvious they're talking about us because we were the only English speakers around. I've seen guys yell at Korean couples for kissing in public but never make eye contact. I've had younger guys insult me with things like "미친놈" they rarely ever make eye contact. Its like they want to start shit or act tough but don't have the balls to even do it properly. I guess most people who act tough generally do it under the safest circumstances but Koreans take that even further. Then why do it? What's the point? Once I had enough with one guy and confronted him only do see him back down pretty quickly.

I've had this happen to me in the States but it was from 14-15 year olds calling me names at my back after I was a safe distance away. But here, grown ass adults do this.
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cfile2



Joined: 28 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:48 pm    Post subject: Re: 3 young Korean dudes bad mouthed me at restaurant Reply with quote

itiswhatitis wrote:
I was just at a fast food restaurant to eat and as soon as I sat down I heard one Korean guy from a table that was diagonal to me say "F you". I sincerely thought that I had misheard him and I looked at him for a split second and there were 3 young Korean men (about 20'ish....although I didn't get a good look) staring at me.

I thought whatever, so I sat down and started eating. They then started saying "are you crazy" "you have dirty mouth". I ignored them and continued eating. After about 5 minutes they stopped, I continued to eat and I probably left about 10 minutes after they had began keeping to themselves. As I got up to leave they said nothing, I put my garbage away and that was it.

It was at about 10 PM on a Saturday night, I am a 29 year old regular looking Canadian man.

I've been in Korea for a little over 4 years and nothing even remotely ccomparable to this has ever happened to me. I do get stared at quite a bit and I get the occasional dirty look.

They just seemed to be idiots and I don't think that they were necessarily full of hatred. Having said that we all know that with 3 young men things can escalate fairly quickly so I thought that I was best to ignore them and let it go.

Any advice on how to handle this???? Would you have confronted them???


Just my 2 cents in response to some of the other comments:

When something like this happens, there is a tendency to always FEEL at odds with the country/culture. Even though it's just three guys, for a lot of us, the gut instinct is too see it as a Korean problem. Especially when we can easily recall it happening probably a dozen other times (if not directly to us than through other people we know).

I think the reason for that is because we are coming up against the culture in so many other ways on a daily basis. Just the daily struggle to be understood over the simple things like finding a washroom or looking for something specific in a supermarket is enough to put up a wall between foreigners and Koreans.

I can't count the number of times I've watched 20-something drunks turn the Little Caesar's into a make-shift Octagon in the battle for pizza after the bars close (in Canada). Or the number of times I've seen a group of teenagers standing outside a mall with nothing but time on their hands so they jeer at every person they see to get a laugh from their friends.

But if FEELS different here because it's an unfamiliar place and we already feel like outsiders. It's ok to feel that way but every now and then you have to stop and think. Try to remember what it's really like back home before you draw conclusions about how different Korea/Koreans are. I promise you I've seen stranger behavior in downtown London, Ontario than I have anywhere in Korea.

OP, you handled the situation as you should. Just ignore it and move on. And if it's really getting you down, as cheesy as this sounds, try smiling at some strangers and you'll find you get a smile back almost every time. Remind yourself that far from the majority of people here inconsiderate dick-bags.
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Adam Carolla



Joined: 26 Feb 2010

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Look, the only way a thread titled this:

Quote:
3 young Korean dudes bad mouthed me at restaurant


is thread worthy is if the OP is asking about body dumping sites after he kills them with his chopsticks.

Otherwise, get over it.
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pegasus64128



Joined: 20 Aug 2011

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Julius wrote:

There seems to be an inordinate number of small ajosshi guys aged between 40-55 that act very insecure around foreign people.
The sort of guys that would have problems fighting their way out of a paper bag yet who get to act like kings in a society that is entirely skewed in their favor.


Hmm, aged between 40 and 55. Let's say 47 for arguments sake. Hmm they would have been born in ehhh.. 1964. I seem to remember a war.. some kind of a feud happening around that time, maybe a decade or so earlier.. no it's just my imagination.
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alljokingaside



Joined: 17 Feb 2010

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 8:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd just stop, look, break out into a smile/chuckle to myself/give em the eye/ look perplexed/vomit/yawn/scratch my balls/contort my face, etc. then go about my business.
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jammo



Joined: 12 Dec 2008

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 7:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:

maybe next time I'm stood next to an ajosshi I'll start saying " pyongshin ajosshi i-dah" , practise my other korean sewearwords, stare at the floor, and see if anyone thinks I'm referring to them.

I wouldn't recommend this honestly... you know it means 'retard' right?
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Julius



Joined: 27 Jul 2006

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 10:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pegasus64128 wrote:
Hmm, aged between 40 and 55. Let's say 47 for arguments sake. Hmm they would have been born in ehhh.. 1964. I seem to remember a war.. some kind of a feud happening around that time, maybe a decade or so earlier.. no it's just my imagination.


Korea has evolved a society based on dependence, a pyramid scheme whereby ajosshi sits at the top by virtue of his chance chromosomal allocation.
And all other people must work to serve his needs, from the cradle to the grave: his sense of entitlement knows no bounds. Left uncorrected by outside influence, this system reaches oppressive proportions, as exemplified north of the border.

This can only produce large numbers of spoiled, unskilled, ill-behaved males on a vast scale.
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PatrickGHBusan



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -

PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

jammo wrote:
Quote:

maybe next time I'm stood next to an ajosshi I'll start saying " pyongshin ajosshi i-dah" , practise my other korean sewearwords, stare at the floor, and see if anyone thinks I'm referring to them.

I wouldn't recommend this honestly... you know it means 'retard' right?


I doubt he knows the exact meaning.

I would in fact encourage him to do this...the results will be highly entertaining! Odds are he would get a beat down but that would be "their fault", not his.

Then he can come on Daves and tell a story of woe about how he was assaulted out of nowhere and the moron brigade that lurks on here will come out in droves to swallow his story whole.

Full marks for Daves entertainement however.
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jfromtheway



Joined: 20 Nov 2010

PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 7:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I would in fact encourage him to do this...the results will be highly entertaining! Odds are he would get a beat down but that would be "their fault", not his.


"A beat down" from Koreans, with odds? Dreamer... I'll take those odds. My Christmas wish is for the above poster to go away. For the rest, best of luck, thumbs up, hope everyone is happy.
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rednblack



Joined: 12 Jun 2006
Location: In a quiet place

PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 6:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes Patrick/Homer (sorry, you'll always be Homer) it is entertainment.

While some may attack me for my not so kosher posting on the genaral forum, your words are fact.

I do believe that people have problems here.

Yes, older people can be rude (everywhere), and younger people too. Even though I've been in Korea forever, I can only count on one hand, any major problems ( and my wife quickly embarrassed the offending persons)

Yes, there have been a few minor idiots, but, who cares, there are idiots everywhere.

In saying this, I truly believe that those who are here for one or two years have a differnt perspective/experince than those who have an investment in Korea.
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