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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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Linda868
Joined: 16 Nov 2008
Location: Korea
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 Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:14 pm Post subject: dating western men |
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I am interested in dating while I am here in Korea now that my life is in order. I live in a small town so there is really not much of a selection of people so I try to meet people who live in and around Seoul when I am there on the weekends. I have tried online dating only to find that most people wanted only one night stands or something serious right away. How do other western girls get dates with western men here? Any tips?
I dress well, take care of my body and just sort of feel a little incompetent when it comes to getting a date... Is it odd if I approach someone I think may seem interesting? I know a lot of Koreans and foreigners think I am Korean but I am not...not sure if that has any effect on my dating life or not... Thanks for any suggestions and yes I am quite clueless about dating. I never dated much during my high school and university years (I was a bit of a nerd back then:P |
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luckylady
Joined: 30 Jan 2012
Location: u.s. of occupied territories
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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well I'll probably start a flame war if I say this - but there are a heck of a lot of very troubled - some deeply so - Western men who find themselves in Korea.
that's not to say all are like that, but a huge percentage are. everything from drugs to alcohol, in denial about homosexuality (way too many of those!), all kinds of female issues which they deal with by dating Korean females who have limited English speaking abilities 
all that being said, you'd be surprised how many talented, educated and interesting non-Western (and not necessarily Korean) men there actually are in S. Korea. Russians, Africans, Indians, even other East Asians - and many are single, professional and as mentioned, very interesting for different reasons, and actually respect Western women - unlike way too many of our male counterparts.
I'd suggest attending arts events, gallery shows, film festivals, any other kind of activities that interest you and be ready to have a good time (in more ways than one)  |
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ForeverWanderlust
Joined: 27 Jun 2011
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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| would it be to simple to simply go up to any guys you fancy and start a convo? That alone will be enough and if he is interested in you I ASSURE you he will ask for your number to meet up again. |
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swinewho
Joined: 17 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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in denial about homosexuality (way too many of those!)
The religious one's are always the funniest![/quote]
Anyway - to the OP, i'd say LOOKING for a boyfriend will invariably lead you to the wrong choice - I'd advise you to join some sort of club/hobby that you like and you might just meet someone that way..... |
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Modernist
Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Location: The 90s
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:58 pm Post subject: |
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| there are a heck of a lot of very troubled - some deeply so - Western men who find themselves in Korea. |
Yup. Just look at some of the postings on this forum.
However, as a single, straight, non-drinking, reasonably intelligent and well-dressed Western guy, who has only about as many 'issues' as any typical person, it's not only the men who aren't exactly cream of the crop.
The plain fact is that there are an enormous--pardon the pun--number of Western women here with serious weight problems. If they're not full-on obese they're well down the track. Many others have major, er, facial issues. This is something I see very consistently in Seoul. It's all made far worse due to the numeric imbalance, probably 8 to 1 male to female for Westerners.
I'm no hypocrite. I weigh 58 kilos, and I don't want to date someone who is 30 or 40% heavier than me. I'm no model, and I'm not looking for one. But is cute, pretty, elegant or lovely too much to hope for?
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| Russians, Africans, Indians, even other East Asians .... actually respect Western women |
Really? Russian guys respect women? Indians? Africans? Obviously there are exceptions but these are three of the most patriarchal cultural groups in the world. Russia has a demographic crisis because so few women there can find decent guys to marry. India has a major female infantcide problem even today, and it's worse among the professional classes. And Africa? Unless you're talking the non-Muslim parts of West Africa like Ghana or the southern sphere around SA, it's pretty bleak.
Finding someone is rough for both genders here, unless you're willing to embrace kimchi fever and date the locals. I agree, approach any guy you like. Give it a shot  |
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Linda868
Joined: 16 Nov 2008
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:10 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks so far for the suggestions. I have been joining clubs/events/ activities that I enjoy, but mostly females attend and I am not complaining as I have made quite a few good friends. (just that I would like to date a bit too here and there)
I am not actually looking for a boyfriend at the moment, just looking to meet members of the opposite sex to date (not in a rush to be in some exclusive relationship:) |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Modernist wrote: |
The plain fact is that there are an enormous--pardon the pun--number of Western women here with serious weight problems. If they're not full-on obese they're well down the track. Many others have major, er, facial issues. This is something I see very consistently in Seoul. It's all made far worse due to the numeric imbalance, probably 8 to 1 male to female for Westerners.
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Didn't take long for that to come up. That train is never late. |
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ForeverWanderlust
Joined: 27 Jun 2011
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Linda868 wrote: |
Thanks so far for the suggestions. I have been joining clubs/events/ activities that I enjoy, but mostly females attend and I am not complaining as I have made quite a few good friends. (just that I would like to date a bit too here and there)
I am not actually looking for a boyfriend at the moment, just looking to meet members of the opposite sex to date (not in a rush to be in some exclusive relationship:) |
You dont really want a bf or a serious relationship.
So you are essentially are looking for someone to spend money on you.
I hope you atleast put out and not let these poor dudes waste their money and time for nothing.
If I am wrong, than you are better off just making some male FRIENDS, and not dating. |
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morrisonhotel
Joined: 18 Jul 2009
Location: Gyeonggi-do
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
| Modernist wrote: |
The plain fact is that there are an enormous--pardon the pun--number of Western women here with serious weight problems. If they're not full-on obese they're well down the track. Many others have major, er, facial issues. This is something I see very consistently in Seoul. It's all made far worse due to the numeric imbalance, probably 8 to 1 male to female for Westerners.
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Didn't take long for that to come up. That train is never late. |
Yup, regular as clockwork.
OP, good suggestions above so far. Perhaps you could try some volunteering as well? There's a fair amount of guys who do that. |
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Linda868
Joined: 16 Nov 2008
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe I should clarify, I am not actively looking for someone to fill the role as my boyfriend as I am not in some rush to jump into an exclusive relationship with someone until I get to know him. There is nothing wrong with dating to see what is out there and to let things happen without feeling pressured to move from dating to an exclusive relationship (bf/gf). However, when I do go out on dates I tend to pay my share and insist on this as I am not going on dates for guys to spend money on me. I earn my own money and can pay for my own things:)
Last edited by Linda868 on Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:38 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Evanzinho
Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Location: California
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:36 pm Post subject: |
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| luckylady wrote: |
| in denial about homosexuality (way too many of those!) |
| luckylady wrote: |
I'd suggest attending arts events, gallery shows |
So, let me get this straight: a lot of male teachers here are in denial about their homosexuality, so you recommend looking for a man at an art gallery?
Classic.  |
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Zyzyfer
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: who, what, where, when, why, how?
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Linda868 wrote: |
| Maybe I should clarify, I am not actively looking for someone to fill the role as my boyfriend as I am not in some rush to jump into an exclusive relationship with someone until I get to know him. There is nothing wrong with dating to see what is out there and to let things happen without feeling pressured to move from dating to an exclusive relationship (bf/gf). However, when I do go out on dates I tend to pay my share and insist on this as I am not going on dates for guys to spend money on me. I earn my own money and can pay for my own things:) |
Don't bother trying to explain or defend yourself to buttholes on this board. You'll only dig the hole deeper.
One Western female friend of mine meets guys through gaming communities. I don't know the specifics, but she likes games, the guys like games, it's game on. Just an idea.
edit: Oh, another possibility. Get a friend with a decent-sized place to throw a house party. Encourage invites of dudes.
And I remembered that another female friend of mine got heavy into the art scene in Seoul and hooked up with a fellow. If you can accept a hipster, I'm sure they'll have plenty to talk about. |
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Paddycakes
Joined: 05 May 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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| luckylady wrote: |
| in denial about homosexuality (way too many of those!), all kinds of female issues which they deal with by dating Korean females who have limited English speaking abilities |
while it's true that a very large percentage of western men in Korea are total and utter nut jobs and misfits back home... you come across as bitter and angry.
Evidently, a lot people don't cope with rejection very well, real or imagined.
Also, western men tend to like Korean women because they are skinny, feminine and cute and generally pleasant and fun to be around.
Your typical North American woman in Korea by contrast comes across as hostile, angry and bitter. Not to mention most of them are significantly overweight. |
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Nismo
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| but a huge percentage are. |
Care to venture a number?
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| everything from drugs to alcohol, in denial about homosexuality (way too many of those!), all kinds of female issues which they deal with by dating Korean females who have limited English speaking abilities |
This is not necessarily just a description of the foreign population in South Korea.
| Quote: |
| in denial about homosexuality (way too many of those!) |
This is Korea, after all. Would you expect them to be out of the closet?
| Quote: |
| all that being said, you'd be surprised how many talented, educated and interesting non-Western (and not necessarily Korean) men there actually are in S. Korea. Russians, Africans, Indians, even other East Asians - and many are single, professional and as mentioned, very interesting for different reasons, and actually respect Western women - unlike way too many of our male counterparts. |
I'm sure that's true, but why exclude Western men as well?
Anyways, back to the original poster's question, if you're looking to meet some Anglophones, I suggest you find a nice pub geared towards foreigners but far enough away from a U.S. base that you don't get the ground fodder coming in to get pissed and rowdy. A lot of these places have quiz game night where you can meet groups of nice, interesting people. You might also consider joining a foreign or mixed club for a hobby that interests you. Bundang and Seoul are probably your best bets for this. A lot of us just like to meet new people, so don't be shy! |
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Seoulman69
Joined: 14 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 12:38 am Post subject: |
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| There are some bitter twisted people in Korea (as shown in this thread) but if you join some clubs and socialize as much as you can then you will meet someone. For me it didn't matter where the person was from, as long as they were a nice person. Get off this site and get out there and meet people. |
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