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pegasus64128
Joined: 20 Aug 2011
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 Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 2:08 am Post subject: |
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| SeoulNate wrote: |
After reading all that drivel, I have one piece of advice for you as western guy who has been here for 5 years and dated a fair number of westerners and koreans here.
When meeting someone for the first time, DO NOT talk about how much you hate it here, your job, or anything that seems to be insulting koreans / westerners in korea / culture or society here. Nothing is a bigger turn off, or a more common topic among expats here. It is probably the sole reason that I have gravitated more towards korean women in the past year or so, I cant stand the fresh off the boat talk and it is really frustrating to talk to someone who literally has nothing to say except the same generalizations and observations that I have heard a million times before.
As others have said, join groups in your area. Go on trips with others and generally try and get to know people on a personal level. It will happen, but you need to put yourself out there. |
+1 |
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Linda868
Joined: 16 Nov 2008
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:26 am Post subject: |
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Thanks SeoulNate.
I actually try and keep things positive as I do like it here, otherwise I would not have stayed more than one contract.
I have been doing stuff since last weekend and things are going well. Trying to incorporate things into my life while keeping a good balance:)
Oh and thanks to others who gave me advice. It is definitely not as easy as I do not live in Seoul but making the most of my time there:) |
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s10czar
Joined: 14 Feb 2010
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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I'm a straight, single, Western male living in Korea -surprisingly without a criminal background, drug or alcohol addictions, or any latent homosexual tendencies- in short, I think I'm who the OP wants to hear from. So here's what I can say on this issue- listen up because this is something that women everywhere need to know...
MEN HATE DATING.
Did you get that? We hate it! To the depths of our souls we despise it. Dating is NOT fun for a man. It's expensive, frought with pitfalls, and nerve wracking. And it's expensive.
We hate playing 20 questions and being judged by you. We hate having to figure out where to take you. We hate having to appear unique and facinating and worthwhile when we're really just regular guys who want to get laid. Oh and did I mention that dating is expensive?
OP in your post you seem to indicate that you want some kind of extended dating scenario...are you serious? Is dating that much fun for you? Personally, as a man, I wouldn't want anything to do with that scenario. I can't think of a single guy that would.
OP you need to understand something- MEN HATE DATING. We just want to get to the part where we're having sex with you. Be that exclusively with you in the context of a LTR or FWB or whatever. Everything prior to that point is a cost potentially without a benefit.
Yes, women love dating and men hate it. We'll go through the motions with you but if you want us to stick around then you need to show us the finish line. You need to let us know that there's gonna be a payday sometime in the not-too-distant future. Understand this and you'll be well on your way toward aquiring a Western bf and LIGHT YEARS ahead of any K-girl out there
Hope that helped |
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NYC_Gal 2.0
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Not all women love dating either. Going straight into a FWB or LTR is much better than that interview stage. I'm lucky, in that I ended up marrying my best friend here, so we'd already gotten past all that crap. |
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Modernist
Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Location: The 90s
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:42 pm Post subject: |
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A public service announcement I wish I didn't have to make:
WE ARE NOT ALL LIKE THIS. HE DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ALL MEN.
Guys like this are at least half the reason guys like me have trouble all the time. Seriously, however you're going to live is your business but don't put your BS on all of us. It's hard enough here as it is. |
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Buddah's Slipper
Joined: 12 Mar 2012
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:58 pm Post subject: Re: dating western men |
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| Linda868 wrote: |
I am interested in dating while I am here in Korea now that my life is in order. I live in a small town so there is really not much of a selection of people so I try to meet people who live in and around Seoul when I am there on the weekends. I have tried online dating only to find that most people wanted only one night stands or something serious right away. How do other western girls get dates with western men here? Any tips?
I dress well, take care of my body and just sort of feel a little incompetent when it comes to getting a date... Is it odd if I approach someone I think may seem interesting? I know a lot of Koreans and foreigners think I am Korean but I am not...not sure if that has any effect on my dating life or not... Thanks for any suggestions and yes I am quite clueless about dating. I never dated much during my high school and university years (I was a bit of a nerd back then:P |
Shot in the dark here: you didn't happen to be at Suwon Station last Friday evening did you? |
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Linda868
Joined: 16 Nov 2008
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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To Buddah's Slipper: No I was not at Suwon Station, never even been to Suwon.
I find dating fun if the date goes well and there is chemistry/attraction. I prefer laid back dates like coffee or a drink. Also, I am not looking to date men after men as that is not fun for me either.
I was actually seeing a guy casually for a while but that ended so I am looking for a replacement:) |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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When I was single, I enjoyed dating. Ok, strike that, I enjoyed the "chase".
Not all men/ppl are the same.
Different strokes for different folks. |
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myenglishisno
Joined: 08 Mar 2011
Location: Geumchon
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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| s10czar wrote: |
MEN HATE DATING.
Did you get that? We hate it! To the depths of our souls we despise it. Dating is NOT fun for a man. It's expensive, frought with pitfalls, and nerve wracking. And it's expensive.
We hate playing 20 questions and being judged by you. We hate having to figure out where to take you. We hate having to appear unique and facinating and worthwhile when we're really just regular guys who want to get laid. Oh and did I mention that dating is expensive?
OP in your post you seem to indicate that you want some kind of extended dating scenario...are you serious? Is dating that much fun for you? Personally, as a man, I wouldn't want anything to do with that scenario. I can't think of a single guy that would.
OP you need to understand something- MEN HATE DATING. We just want to get to the part where we're having sex with you. Be that exclusively with you in the context of a LTR or FWB or whatever. Everything prior to that point is a cost potentially without a benefit.
Yes, women love dating and men hate it. We'll go through the motions with you but if you want us to stick around then you need to show us the finish line. You need to let us know that there's gonna be a payday sometime in the not-too-distant future. Understand this and you'll be well on your way toward aquiring a Western bf and LIGHT YEARS ahead of any K-girl out there
Hope that helped |
This. This is why I'm exactly the same on dates as I am with friends. I just go as myself and if they don't like me for who I am, then they're not going to like me five years later and whatever relationship we create is going to be based lies.
"Dating" is just a series of meetings where one or both people try to tell convincing lies. By the time the honesty comes out (sometimes after marriage), it's usually game over.
Girls that wear high heels and expect their boyfriends to always buy them stuff and do stuff for them are anti-feminist bitches. I'll buy you something to show you that I love you, not because I'm a whipped patsy. |
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3DR
Joined: 24 May 2009
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Modernist wrote: |
A public service announcement I wish I didn't have to make:
WE ARE NOT ALL LIKE THIS. HE DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ALL MEN.
Guys like this are at least half the reason guys like me have trouble all the time. Seriously, however you're going to live is your business but don't put your BS on all of us. It's hard enough here as it is. |
I truly think people like this (not you the other guy) find what they project. If you think all women only care about expensive crap and are looking to drain you, then that's what you'll find. |
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SeoulNate
Joined: 04 Jun 2010
Location: Hyehwa
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 9:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
When I was single, I enjoyed dating. Ok, strike that, I enjoyed the "chase".
Not all men/ppl are the same.
Different strokes for different folks. |
+1
I actually enjoy the chase and the connections that I make with those women.
However, with that said, I would never date any women who expected me to pay for everything AND buy her lavish gifts all the time.
With western chicks it is a fairly easy topic to broach, actually I find more often than not they will volunteer to pay their share. However, it is always still a nice treat for your girl to take her out on your dime.
With korean girls you have to approach it a little differently. Going out, know that you are paying for dinner. Let them buy drinks afterwards at the bar, pay for the movie or pay for the taxi home. You will probably put out a little more cash, but I have found, more often than not, Korean chicks will hold up their end if you let them.
Keep in mind, with both of these I am talking about girls in their late 20s or early 30s. |
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sportsfan
Joined: 26 Feb 2012
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 11:04 pm Post subject: |
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| It's just number. the amount of korean girls compared to western girl = a lot of western men dating korean girls. I know lots of western guys with western girlfriends. Nothing about these people or those people are normal, strange, etc. it's just the percentages. Its guys dating girls. don't get hung up on race. |
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SeoulFinn
Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Location: 1h from Seoul
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| Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:05 am Post subject: |
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OFF TOPIC
| NYC_Gal 2.0 wrote: |
| Going straight into a FWB or LTR is much better than that interview stage. I'm lucky, in that I ended up marrying my best friend here, so we'd already gotten past all that crap. |
Good for you! I believe the best relationships are based on friendship. The few times I've started to have feelings towards a close female friend, all I got was "you're like a brother to me", though! 
There's one close Korean friend (successful, in her mid-thirties, very career oriented) who sent a surprising email few weeks ago. She wrote that I'm "in the gray area between a friend and lover". I've known her for 9 years, have always enjoyed her company and liked her as a person. She's smart and hot, at least in my eyes. Anyway, as it happens, this is the 1st time we are both single at the same time.
Maybe it's just the spring in the air, but her email did get my hopes up. Nevertheless, I fully expect things to go bad as soon as I meet her and start to talk about this thing. If things with her don't go the way I'd like them to go, well, then I'll just look for a FWB or even a FB. Meh.
Two more weeks and I can finally escape Finland for two months and visit Seoul again. Yay!
Last edited by SeoulFinn on Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:57 am; edited 1 time in total |
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sirius black
Joined: 04 Jun 2010
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| Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 1:40 am Post subject: |
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Maybe its me and I'm behind the times or whatever, but I don't know too many western girls who want to be dated for a while before a relationship. There are so many random hook ups from the bars that I don't see that.
Maybe some girls need that but too many times I've met girls who you meet somewhere, especially at a bar, you vibe really well, the soju cocktails are flowing to add the ease of it and you end up hooking up that very night. The next day is when you run it through both your minds if you both wanna keep doing this and meeting up. Oftentimes its only one party.
Western girls seem to get that Korea is transitory. They may want a relationship for the time they are here and don't seem to want to waste too much time dating for a month or so before intimacy.
Again, maybe I'm in the minority on this. |
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NYC_Gal 2.0
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:21 am Post subject: |
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| SeoulFinn wrote: |
OFF TOPIC
| NYC_Gal 2.0 wrote: |
| Going straight into a FWB or LTR is much better than that interview stage. I'm lucky, in that I ended up marrying my best friend here, so we'd already gotten past all that crap. |
Good for you! I believe the best relationships are based on friendship. The few times I've started to have feelings towards a close female friend, all I got was "you're like a brother to me", though!
There's one close Korean friend (successful, in her mid-thirties, very career oriented) who sent a surprising email few weeks ago. She wrote that I'm "in the gray area between a friend and lover". I've known her for 9 years, have always enjoyed her company and liked her as a person. She's smart and also very hot, at least in my eyes. Anyway, as it happens, this is very the 1st time we are both single at the same time.
Maybe it's just the spring in the air, but her email did get my hopes up. Nevertheless, I fully expect things to go bad as soon as I meet her and start to talk about this thing. If things with her don't go the way I'd like them to, well, then I'll just look for a FWB or even a FB. Meh.
Two more weeks and I can finally escape Finland for two months and visit Seoul again. Yay! |
Don't talk about it straight off. Just hang out with her and see how things go. Best of luck!
On a side note: Helsinki airport sucks. It looks like an IKEA and the security lady who groped me (random pat down) used the same gloves that she'd used on the skanky looking woman in front of me. My groper wasn't even hot. Lame. |
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