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The Cosmic Hum
Joined: 09 May 2003
Location: Sonic Space
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 Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:07 am Post subject: |
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| Dodge7 wrote: |
There has to be a reason why she doesnt ike you. Ive gotten along with every teacher no matter how bad or how nice they were. In order to do this, you have to adjust your personality to fit them and that personal situational.
It seems your personality is not that flexible. Or you give off some vibe that goes undetected or unbeknownst to you that rubs her the wrong way. |
boyo...you are just itching for a fight.
...looks like a new troll in town...best of luck with that.  |
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Bloopity Bloop
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Location: Seoul yo
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for the responses guys. I've calmed down a bit since writing the OP (the b**** is on a biz trip--correlation much?)
@bobloblaw - Ignoring it has led to the problem getting worse (i.e., this FB thing)
@Gorf - Very true. Fortunately, the school seems to be on my side and I have strong connections with several head teachers and the Principal (he wants me to, "marry Korean woman and live Korea forever")
@Weigookin74 - She's a relatively junior teacher in the school. But while she doesn't seem to have much power on paper, after this FB thing, I'm not sure how far or to what ends she'll go to get me into hot water. And I do plan on confronting her when she returns.
@TUM - Yeah, I proceeded to my computer immediately after lunch. Which brings me to another question--WHY ARE PRIVACY SETTINGS ON THAT SITE SO INFURIATING NOW? There should be an general option to block all strangers from seeing anything.
@hapigokelli - Thanks for your reply. It's nice to hear from someone who's beat this. Fortunately, I was on the right track already with steps 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. If this gets worse, I will be all over 8. I'm confident the school is on my side. Other teachers are getting sick of this whole debacle.
@fermentation - Indeed.
@pegasus64128 - Fortunately for me, this individual is not working in any significant capacity. She doesn't have any strong connections with teachers in power, either. She does have a big mouth though that is in a constant state of projectile vomiting garbage.
@matthews_world - Yeah, well, we all "planned" out a core schedule, but apparently non of the teachers (including the b****) wanted to work it out enough to miss out on their Gmarket surfing and ddeok eating time.
And she definitely found my page--I am the ONLY person in the world with my name (I've Googled). Thanks for the reply.
@plchron - Oh man, I've thought about going this route so many times. However, the school seems to be on my side right now and if I stoop to her level I might lose that. Is it wrong that I hope she suffers some kind of debilitating injury that will keep her out of the office until at least August when my contract's up? Lol.
@YTMND - Oh, very intriguing theory about the FB thing. Hm... And I'm digging your idea about the meeting. I wish more people could just squash their beef(s) like that. But does it work in Korea? People seem to just fake the making up to save face and keep the hate train rolling afterwards.
I will try to employ some of your ideas. Thanks for the great post 
@Dodge7 - Trust me. If you think everyone in the world likes you or even has the capacity to like you, there's a lot of cues your missing out on. I'm pretty aware of my school's general opinion on me and the fact that everyone's telling me about what this crazy woman is doing leads me to believe they're on my side. My students all love me and a lot of higher-ups think I'm great. Judging by her actions, you can't possibly think this woman is right in the head. I'm a very down-to-Earth dude and I have never had a problem with anyone I've worked with until now.
@transmogrifier - Agreed. And I love your handle. RIP Bill.
@plchron again - LOL
@The Cosmic Hum - HA! |
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warmachinenkorea
Joined: 12 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Dodge7 wrote: |
There has to be a reason why she doesnt ike you. Ive gotten along with every teacher no matter how bad or how nice they were. In order to do this, you have to adjust your personality to fit them and that personal situational.
It seems your personality is not that flexible. Or you give off some vibe that goes undetected or unbeknownst to you that rubs her the wrong way. |
Talented Mr. Ripley? |
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Weigookin74
Joined: 26 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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| transmogrifier wrote: |
| Dodge7 wrote: |
There has to be a reason why she doesnt ike you. Ive gotten along with every teacher no matter how bad or how nice they were. In order to do this, you have to adjust your personality to fit them and that personal situational.
It seems your personality is not that flexible. Or you give off some vibe that goes undetected or unbeknownst to you that rubs her the wrong way. |
I disagree. Some people are just jerks, and it is their problem, not yours. Not sure why you'd decide to postulate that the OP is to blame when the exact same "vibe" could be coming from the co-teacher....and in fact sounds very much like it does. |
Is she single and bitter about it? Sometimes, 30ish single Korean women hate the world and can be crazy in the head with lots of emotional problems. |
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Swampfox10mm
Joined: 24 Mar 2011
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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| What do you have placed publicly on Facebook that might cause you trouble in your workplace? |
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Bloopity Bloop
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Location: Seoul yo
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Weigookin74 wrote: |
| transmogrifier wrote: |
| Dodge7 wrote: |
There has to be a reason why she doesnt ike you. Ive gotten along with every teacher no matter how bad or how nice they were. In order to do this, you have to adjust your personality to fit them and that personal situational.
It seems your personality is not that flexible. Or you give off some vibe that goes undetected or unbeknownst to you that rubs her the wrong way. |
I disagree. Some people are just jerks, and it is their problem, not yours. Not sure why you'd decide to postulate that the OP is to blame when the exact same "vibe" could be coming from the co-teacher....and in fact sounds very much like it does. |
Is she single and bitter about it? Sometimes, 30ish single Korean women hate the world and can be crazy in the head with lots of emotional problems. |
She is actually married and returned this semester from maternity leave. She's pretty hideous, though; so she could be bitter from years of neglect until someone was desperate enough to use a paper bag and put a ring on it. Also, she did mention she used to hang out with foreigners every weekend in Hongdae. Maybe she got burned by one of them? Unrequited love? Maybe she got hit then quit on? Lol. Who knows? She is definitely crazy in the head and certainly has impulse control and temper problems. |
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Bloopity Bloop
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Location: Seoul yo
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 8:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Swampfox10mm wrote: |
| What do you have placed publicly on Facebook that might cause you trouble in your workplace? |
That's the weird part! There is literally nothing on my FB that could work against me. And the only thing visible to strangers is my profile picture--where I am seated at a restaurant with friends. There are a few wine glasses on the table but everyone looks proper and sober.
Another user supposed that she just BS-ed my head teacher and tried to go after the all-foreigners-are-party-animals stereotype. 'Cause it's not like my 50+ year old head teacher that doesn't even have a smart phone would likely have an FB account to check that psycho b**** had her facts straight. |
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Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 5:19 am Post subject: |
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She will try to rile you. Subtly, in a way that is unnoticeable to other people. She wants to provoke a reaction, so that you will look like the aggressor and then she can play the victim. She will move to isolate you, to put you off your game, to upset you. she wants to emotionally destabilize you so that you can no longer function properly. Her behaviour will get ever more ridiculous, until it can't be ignored. She will try to dictate, to control you. Then her tyranny begins. Unfortunately, you're in her country and she knows the cards are stacked heavily in her favour.
Its called women and their power games. If you want to play them forever you could always marry one of them.
Have fun!  |
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jeremysums
Joined: 08 Apr 2011
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:21 am Post subject: Re: My co-teacher is ABOLUTELY nuts! |
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Thats very detailed.
| Bloopity Bloop wrote: |
For the 1st time in my 3 years teaching in Korea, I (sadly) have one of THOSE co-teachers.
Walking into my office on the first day of school, I find that I have 5 co-teachers this year--4 of whom I had never co-taught with previously. At that point, I already knew there were going to be issues what with all the different teaching styles and the varying levels of effort each teacher might (or not) want to put into my class. Furthermore, I was to start using a textbook (never had to before) which NONE of my co-teachers had even opened until they showed it to me; it was also decided that it'd be the core of our midterm and final tests this year. It wouldn't be such a bad idea IF THEY HAD ACTUALLY COORDINATED WITH EACH OTHER. So week 1 is a total clusteryouknowwhat with every co-teacher wanting this and that from every class. As much as I wanted to have an organized agenda so that students are learning the same stuff, it just wasn't worth the effort to battle against a bunch of older teacher long set in their ways and teaching philosophies.
Well, on the Friday of week 1 (it's been almost 3 weeks since then?), I'm in the middle of a class with a co-teacher I've never even had much interaction with prior. She pulls me to the front while I am LITERALLY in the middle of helping a group of students working on the textbook. I ask her if she needs anything and this is the exchange that started it all...
Me: "Yes?"
Her: "What are we doing?"
Me: "Well, the students are working on the textbook."
Her: "I don't want to do the text book (and in my head, I'm thinking... except this is what you guys WANTED me to use...). What do you want to do now?"
Me: "Well, I don't have anything significant that is ready off-hand"
Her: "So you just show videos in class and force me to teach everything else? Is this your class or mine?"
--So I showed a 1-minute video at the start of class to engage students, which I followed up with at least 15 solid minutes of discussion and she basically did FIVE minutes of the listening section of the text book (which is in KOREAN)--
Me: "What are you talking about? I asked you if you would mind doing the listening part because I can't teach material that's in Korean. It was FIVE minutes."
Her: "I don't want to talk about this now!"
Later that day, she sat me down in our office and talked about how upset she was about how I didn't do this or that (WTF?). She also forced another teacher to team up against me. In any case, we came to the conclusion that she didn't want to take part in the class outside of merely assisting me in the rare occasion I'm unable to get my points across to students. Okay, fine, NO PROBLEM.
Since then, I'd come into the office and she'd be talking heatedly with other teachers and stop as soon as she knew I was there. I thought, okay, maybe this b**** is just venting (although I'm still unsure what she could be so upset about). But as time went by, teachers actually began coming up to me and telling me, "b**** said this, she said that". Until then, I had just been avoiding her and just minding my own business and doing my job. In my classes with her, I'd been doing an even better job w/o her involved. I thought I'd given her what she wanted, I felt better about it, case closed. Right?
NOPE, my head teacher said we needed to talk about this "fiasco". The b**** had apparently talked so much trash about me (about what I'm not sure), that some of the teachers in the office are asking my head-teacher why she keeps defending me. She is literally rallying people against me. Well, other than the obvious reason that I am completely blameless here and this b**** has been raging over a MINISCULE misunderstanding for almost a month now, my head teacher lost face because of this and wants ME to apologize to this teacher.
This teacher is in her mid-30s and only recently became a teacher. Her students all hate her and most of the teachers in the school don't like her. My head teacher actually told me that no other head teacher wanted her in their offices so we got stuck with her. So how is this happening?
OK... I'm thinking at this point, I should just let it go... everyone's on my side if they're telling me what she's doing. I'll be fine if I just keep doing my job. THEN...
I was LEGITIMATELY sick on Monday and took a day to recover. Yesterday, as I'm about to eat lunch with my head teacher, she asks me about my weekend. "Just the usual stuff" I say, "nothing special." She then starts telling me "a little bird" told her about certain pictures on my Facebook that might lead some people to suspect I had just partied too hard over the weekend and took a day off cause I was hungover. Okay, that was weird... Wait... no... it couldn't be...
Later that day, another teacher confirmed my suspicions. This PSYCHO B**** had actually LOOKED me up on Facebook, and reported what she found there to my head teacher and warned her not to trust me--about ANYTHING. If I lied about my sickness, I must lie about everything else 
This also made me wonder what she actually saw. I do not party almost at all. I have no photos on my Facebook that I wouldn't show my parents or employers. Furthermore, most of my school knows I don't even drink. So I wasn't too worried about anything coming out of this. I just CANNOT BELIEVE that something SO SMALL is now turning into some kind of personal crusade against me. WHAT KIND OF INSANE PERSON WOULD RAGE FOR THIS LONG ABOUT NOTHING?! LITERALLY NOTHING!
Before any of your smartypants calls me out for not confronting her directly, I hadn't realized how much she was doing behind the scenes until recently. And on the day of the FB incident, she left for a 2-week long business trip. I asked my head teacher in a roundabout way whether or not it was in fact this teacher that told her about the my Facebook, but lied to my face and said no. Obviously she thinks it'll make things worse--and she said, "just forget about it. You guys should work it out with each other."
WHAT?!
I am furious about this. I am definitely going to have a word or two with Crazy 선생님 when she gets back.
What would you do in my situation? Does anyone have a similar experience? |
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happiness
Joined: 04 Sep 2010
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 3:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Julius wrote: |
She will try to rile you. Subtly, in a way that is unnoticeable to other people. She wants to provoke a reaction, so that you will look like the aggressor and then she can play the victim. She will move to isolate you, to put you off your game, to upset you. she wants to emotionally destabilize you so that you can no longer function properly. Her behaviour will get ever more ridiculous, until it can't be ignored. She will try to dictate, to control you. Then her tyranny begins. Unfortunately, you're in her country and she knows the cards are stacked heavily in her favour.
Its called women and their power games. If you want to play them forever you could always marry one of them.
Have fun! |
haha yes. because of a overzealous new co-manager, 9 out of 12 teachers quit in february so we have 9 new teachers in our place, and Im the lone male foreigner. 3 or 4 have decided they dont like me for whatever reason. The wangjang told me this is the beginning of the semester, and I was like why? You cant do anything about....some people live for drama, trouble, etc. Just make sure youre doing your job and the bossy boss likes you. |
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Bloopity Bloop
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Location: Seoul yo
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 3:29 pm Post subject: Re: My co-teacher is ABOLUTELY nuts! |
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| jeremysums wrote: |
| Thats very detailed. |
In my 2 plus years on this site, I've learned it's better to be detailed than to have someone make an assumption about some random detail you've failed to address and run with it--there's already one poster placing the blame on me!
Plus, my writing ability has been in a constant rate of degradation since coming to Korea and I need the practice  |
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