Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Nismo]

[Blanca]

Nismo, if I was going to be a quitter I would've been gone from here within 2 weeks mate.

Also, I'm a guy, not a girl.

[Nismo]

[Blanca]

No worries - I actually wanted to name myself after Blanka in Street Fighter, failing to realise it's spelt with a K. Never mind.

Anywho, I've decided on a course of action - see how life treats me in the next 2 weeks and if I'm still desperate to go home, have the discussion and hand in the notice. If the guy is horrible about it and starts making threats ad infinitum, I'll be worried enough to run. If he's reasonable and we work it out, I stay and work until 2 weeks after June payday. There's one thing I need to make sure of though...

Obviously my only vulnerability is if this guy, after being reasonable and giving me the 1000-smile treatment, withholds all my pay from my last paycheque for things he claims to be owed outside what I owe him for a flight, and despite what we have agreed about me owing him in the release negotiations. That's in excess of $500 that should be mine. I have the next 2 weeks after payday as an insurance policy against this - I have 2 weeks in which I can sit in his office and refuse to teach until I get what I'm owed, but is this a plausible thing to do? If he withholds my money can I realistically do anything about it, even with a 2-week window?

Big thanks to everyone who's offered advice by the way, it's been a huge help and probably stopped me doing something naive and stupid. Like handing in a notice just before payday.

[Troglodyte]

If you have 2 weeks to sort it out, then you can go to the labor board and file a claim.

[NilesQ]

Blanca

I know how you feel. I wanted to bolt from here during my early days. Every time I looked up and saw an airplane, I wished I was on it heading home. However, things got much better and I started to make friends and settle in after 5 months. I'm glad I stayed and Korea has become a transformational experience in my life.

One of the things that let me stay was deciding not to give a f#@k anymore. If you're prepared to run if need be, then you can do that whenever. You can now do the job without caring. Play games, have fun. You don't care if you get fired. Actually, you might even like it!

Join an online dating site and meet a local girl(or guy if that's your thing). That changes EVERYTHING! Go to some AA meetings, they are great in Korea.

Jump in and embrace the experience. You can always leave. Be prepared to get none of your final paycheque if you do give notice. We foreigners like to discuss what our employers have the "right" to keep. They usually keep it all.

The grass is not always greener. Remember, there's a reason you came here in the first place. There was a day you were at home thinking "if I could only get out of here and get to Korea, everything will be ok". Geographic cures rarely work because we bring ourselves along.

[ontheway]

[midnightpariah]

I really think that you should try and stick it out for a bit. You don't want to get home and then wish you had stayed. I had the same issue when I was living in Japan. I felt really homesick and isolated. I was ready to book my flight home, but I realized that I didn't want to be a quitter and that many people would love to be where I am. One I got off the pity train, I opened myself up to new experiences and ended up staying 3 years. I am so happy that I did. I feel as if I've grown because of it.

[Nismo]

Another point to remember - You are exactly at the often-described trough of the culture shock roller coaster.

http://www.studentsabroad.com/cultureshock.html

From my personal experience (in Japan and in South Korea), three to six months in is the darkest hour. By the end of your first year, you'll probably be more adapted to and, therefore, coolheaded about your living situation.

[Blanca]

You're all right. Of course you are - you've been here far longer than me and have probably gone through the same, or worse, for longer periods. But I'm afraid I'm satisfied in my own reasoning and can safely say that if I decide to go home after 3 months, I will be happy with that decision. I'm actually considering sticking out another month on top of that for several reasons (money being one - after earning for a month here rather than spending for a month at home I'd be over a thousand pounds richer). Allow me to let you in on my thinking behind coming to Korea - maybe it'll become easier to understand why I'd be ok with "giving up" and going home.

Firstly, I didn't come here because I had something to get away from. Au contraire, I had a perfectly nice life at home. Lots of friends, lots of hobbies, time at weekends to enjoy myself and a decent little existence. The only thorns in my side were working at a cheese factory (which, aside from 7am starts, was actually pretty good), living at home with my parents in my fairly crap small hometown, and a desire to get out and see the world a little bit, have some experiences and above all enjoy myself before I settled into the humdrum world of graduate jobs and appearing on telly with Kirsty and Phil (if you're not English, search "Location Location Location" and you'll get what I mean).

Secondly, following on from that, I didn't come here to "settle down", "make a life of it" or "commit". Yes, I signed a contract for a year, and yes I told everyone at home that I'd be here "for a year, maybe more", but that was before what I know now. I didn't know sh*t back then. Besides, I came to exert my freedom, not restrict it. I saw Korea as an interesting, utterly different place where I could make friends, have a wicked time and on top of that, earn a bit of capital. I came to Ulsan because it was the first post I was offered that wasn't in some little backwater village somewhere. You might say that this, combined with the fact I saw teaching as a means to an end (ie getting to see the world for free) rather than an end in itself, is my downfall. Fair enough, live and learn. I'm 23. I'm allowed to make such mistakes, it's how I grow as a person.

Anyway, you start to see my mentality. I've come here to enjoy it (which thus far I am very occasionally) and have good experiences (well...I'm having experiences, so halfway there), and if all goes *beep*-up, I'm not exactly going back to Hell. This being considered, I'm hardly fussed about giving it a year to make an impression on me when I could be off doing something else that I actually enjoy. Also (and please don't think I'm trying to wind anyone up here), what kind of place needs 6-12 months to convince you to stay? If I was in Paris, or New York, or somewhere amazing, I'd be convinced about staying already. Maybe I'm being too demanding, or too critical of Korea as a place, but if I'm not enjoying myself after 3 months in a place then it's failed. Impatient? You bet, but that's how I roll.

Hence the outlook, modified slightly. To go home after 3 months, my notice has to go in this time in 2 weeks. At that point, if I feel I CAN stick out another month, I will. If I do, it's 6 weeks until I hand my notice in to go home after 4 months. At this point, I'll ask myself if I WANT to stay for the next milestone, which is 7/8 months (can't be bothered to go into why). If the answer is anything other than "yes, I really want to stay here and don't want to go home", I'm going home. As I've said before, the best possible thing that can happen is, during the next 6 weeks, I end up thinking this is the best place in the universe and wanting to stay for a year more than I want my next breath. But if I'm still indifferent towards it I've got no hesitation in knocking it on the head. I've got too much to look forward to when I go back.

[NilesQ]

Korea, in my experience, is an interesting and exciting place. But it isn't easy. You have to go find the interesting, it doesn't always come to you. Living in a country you hate isn't a waste of a year. I learned more about myself than I ever did about Korea in my time there. Circumstances don't define the man, they reveal him.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Ballerina2012]

Are you taking your medication? I hope things get better for you.

[nicwr2002]

I believe you should stick it out the full year. I know you listed depression as being one of the main causes for wanting to go home, but after reading your posts about (I'm going to stay one more month because of money.) paraphrasing here. Would you end up being just as depressed or more if you did hand in your notice and everything blow up with your employer? Loss of a full paycheck and what not.

Everyone is right on here about the homesick markers. It usually comes in multiples of 3, third month, sixth, and ninth. What are the things that you don't like about Korea? Maybe other posters on your can help you figure out things to do to improve your life here so that you can withstand the full year and then go home with no worries about if this much pay will be withheld and recruiter fees and being screwed. Seems like a situation that will end up being more stressful in the end especially if your boss is good. That is rare in itself. Don't be so focused on teaching well either. Just have fun with the students, play games, activities. Don't be worried about if you are teaching well enough, just relax.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that saying you are going to quit will change your employers thoughts of you immediately. It may end up being the most stressful time of your life and force you into a situation where you have to do the midnight run and be deeply saddened.

Final verdict IMO, if you are already sticking it out another month, it will be around the half way mark for you. It's only a little bit of time in the grand scheme of things, and you'll be a little bit richer when you go home.

[pugwall]

[NilesQ]

OP, any updates on your decision? Keep us posted.