|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
comm
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
|
 Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 4:40 am Post subject: |
 |
|
| 12ax7 wrote: |
"Do you need a fork?" (trying to be helpful because they think foreigners prefer to use forks)
"That's spicy, you won't like it." (trying to be helpful because they know that Korean food isn't everybody's cup of tea)
"When are you going home?" (because you come from an awesome country, and so you probably wouldn't want to hang around here too long)
See what I mean? It's all about perception. |
Taken to the extreme, everything is about perception. In reality, the effect of years of similar conversations has a negative effect, if for no other reason than that the non-Korean is constantly being reminded of his or her "other-ness" (since no Koreans are ever asked these questions).
I'm not saying this is a huge deal for me in my second year here, but I can certainly empathize with lifers who are ground down by the constant "othering". |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
rollo
Joined: 10 May 2006
Location: China
|
| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 7:46 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Perhaps there is also the shyness social insecurity angle so they use a stock phrase. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
transmogrifier
Joined: 02 Jan 2012
Location: Seoul, South Korea
|
| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 4:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| edwardcatflap wrote: |
| I'm pretty sure they're all going to prefer their beer freezing cold...... |
Well, if they are sane, this is most certainly true. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
The Sultan of Seoul
Joined: 17 Apr 2012
Location: right... behind.. YOU
|
| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 10:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| transmogrifier wrote: |
| edwardcatflap wrote: |
| I'm pretty sure they're all going to prefer their beer freezing cold...... |
Well, if they are sane, this is most certainly true. |
Could someone explain this obsession with feezing cold drinks?
N.American friends of mine must have every beer or soda, uice cold or they can;t enjoy it. What is that? How does it being freezing cold make it better? I like a cold one if it's really hot, but if it's not hot, I don't see the big deal.
I must know... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
edwardcatflap
Joined: 22 Mar 2009
|
| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 1:10 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
| Could someone explain this obsession with feezing cold drinks? |
each to his own but most people reckon certain drinks should be served at certain temperatures. White wine should be chilled not iced, as should a really good lager beer. Real ale should be cellar temperature, not warm as a lot of people seem to think. Soft drinks or gassy beer probably should be iced as let's face it, flavor is not of paramount importance. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
12ax7
Joined: 07 Nov 2009
|
| Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 5:52 am Post subject: |
|
|
| comm wrote: |
| 12ax7 wrote: |
"Do you need a fork?" (trying to be helpful because they think foreigners prefer to use forks)
"That's spicy, you won't like it." (trying to be helpful because they know that Korean food isn't everybody's cup of tea)
"When are you going home?" (because you come from an awesome country, and so you probably wouldn't want to hang around here too long)
See what I mean? It's all about perception. |
Taken to the extreme, everything is about perception. In reality, the effect of years of similar conversations has a negative effect, if for no other reason than that the non-Korean is constantly being reminded of his or her "other-ness" (since no Koreans are ever asked these questions).
I'm not saying this is a huge deal for me in my second year here, but I can certainly empathize with lifers who are ground down by the constant "othering". |
Ground down by the constant "othering"? Funny, but I've been here for nearly 20 years and I don't feel like I don't belong.
PS. Here's another novel idea: people who complain the most aren't victims, they simply suffer from culture shock. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
bojangles
Joined: 19 Feb 2011
Location: south jeolla
|
| Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 6:07 am Post subject: much ado |
|
|
| Why is this particularly a racial phenomenon?... People treat other people in the exact same way based solely on status&economics. "Micro-aggressions" sounds like suspicious terminology made up by some over-active Ph.D candidate. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
The Sultan of Seoul
Joined: 17 Apr 2012
Location: right... behind.. YOU
|
| Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 9:01 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
| Ground down by the constant "othering"? Funny, but I've been here for nearly 20 years and I don't feel like I don't belong. |
Then no offense, but you probably live in a reality inside your own head.
I've known guys in SK as long as you with Korean wives and kids, who say they still get treated as outsiders even by their spouses familly and co-workers whom have known them many years.
Cheers. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
soyoungmikey
Joined: 29 Jun 2009
|
| Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 12:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| 12ax7 wrote: |
| comm wrote: |
| 12ax7 wrote: |
"Do you need a fork?" (trying to be helpful because they think foreigners prefer to use forks)
"That's spicy, you won't like it." (trying to be helpful because they know that Korean food isn't everybody's cup of tea)
"When are you going home?" (because you come from an awesome country, and so you probably wouldn't want to hang around here too long)
See what I mean? It's all about perception. |
Taken to the extreme, everything is about perception. In reality, the effect of years of similar conversations has a negative effect, if for no other reason than that the non-Korean is constantly being reminded of his or her "other-ness" (since no Koreans are ever asked these questions).
I'm not saying this is a huge deal for me in my second year here, but I can certainly empathize with lifers who are ground down by the constant "othering". |
Ground down by the constant "othering"? Funny, but I've been here for nearly 20 years and I don't feel like I don't belong.
PS. Here's another novel idea: people who complain the most aren't victims, they simply suffer from culture shock. |
You say you feel like you belong after living here for more than 20 years, so do you have more details about your experiences? I too have known and do know people who have lived here for 10+ years and still feel othered at work and with their Korean families. I look forward to your reply. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
|
| Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 4:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| The Sultan of Seoul wrote: |
| Quote: |
| Ground down by the constant "othering"? Funny, but I've been here for nearly 20 years and I don't feel like I don't belong. |
Then no offense, but you probably live in a reality inside your own head.
I've known guys in SK as long as you with Korean wives and kids, who say they still get treated as outsiders even by their spouses familly and co-workers whom have known them many years.
Cheers. |
So because you know some guys in the OP's situation who are treated as outsiders that must be true of EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the OP's situation?
Is it not possible that this is the reality for him and not something inside his head? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Alphonsus Jr.
Joined: 04 May 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
|
| Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 6:48 pm Post subject: |
|
|
So much pride in that postmodernist nonsense posted by the OP. It reminds me of this section from Fr. Cajetan Mary da Bergamo's great Humility of Heart:
| Quote: |
34. The heart of the proud man is like a stormy sea, never at rest: "Like the raging sea which cannot rest;" [Isa. lvii, 20] and the heart of the humble is fully content in its humility-----"Rich in his being low" [James i, 10]-----and is always calm and tranquil and without fear that anything in this world should disturb him, and shall "rest with confidence." [Isa. xiv, 30] And from whence proceeds this difference? The humble man enjoys peace and quiet because he lives according to the rules of truth and justice, submitting his own will in all things to the Divine will. The proud man is always agitated and perturbed because of the opposition he is continually offering to the Divine will in order to fulfill his own.
The more the heart is filled with self-love, so much the greater will be its anxiety and agitation. This maxim is indeed true; for whenever I feel myself inwardly irritated, disturbed and angered by some adversity which has befallen me, I need not look elsewhere for the cause of such feelings than within myself, and I should always do well to say: If I were truly humble I should not be disquieted. My great agitation is an evident proof which ought to convince me that my self-love is great and dominant and powerful within me, and is the tyrant which torments and gives me no peace.
If I feel aggrieved by some sharp word that has been said to me, or by some discourtesy shown me, from whence does this feeling of pain proceed? From my pride alone. Oh, if I were truly humble, what calm, what peace and happiness would my soul not enjoy! And this promise of Jesus Christ is infallible: "Learn of Me, because I am meek and humble of heart, and you shall find rest to your souls." [Matt. xi, 29]
When we are distressed by some adversity, it is unnecessary to seek consolation of those who flatter us or have pity on us, and to whom we can pour out our troubles. It is sufficient to ask our soul: "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why dost thou disquiet me?" [Ps. xli, 12] My soul, what hast thou? and what seekest thou? Dost thou perchance desire that rest which thou hast lost? Listen then to the remedy offered to thee by thy Savior, exhorting thee to learn of Him to be humble, "Learn of Me, because I am meek and humble of heart," and further listen to what He adds when He assures thee that with thy lost humility thou shalt also recover thy peace: "And you shall find rest to your souls." |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
The Sultan of Seoul
Joined: 17 Apr 2012
Location: right... behind.. YOU
|
| Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 6:55 pm Post subject: |
|
|
This thread is getting colourful! Bible quoting, posters whom have loved in SK for twenty years! Posters getting ANNOYED WITH OTHER POSTERS FOR BEING ANNOYED BY MICROANNOYANCES...!
What a ball!
So bizarre that some posters can't read that other posters get annoyed by microaggressions and just think 'oh, okay' but instead have to try and argue about it. I wonder what drives those posters. I really do. Maybe they could explain and help me out... What drives their seeming anger, bellicose resentment and ire at people not enjoying being reacted to in certain ways by Koreans?
It's making me microirritated!
gah, I'm going to have to light up a microcigarette and have a microsmoke! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
jfromtheway
Joined: 20 Nov 2010
|
| Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 7:15 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
Is it not possible that this is the reality for him and not something inside his head? |
A realty that is not something inside your head... thinking deep these day, I like it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
transmogrifier
Joined: 02 Jan 2012
Location: Seoul, South Korea
|
| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 1:33 am Post subject: |
|
|
| The Sultan of Seoul wrote: |
| So bizarre that some posters can't read that other posters get annoyed by microaggressions and just think 'oh, okay' but instead have to try and argue about it. |
And yet, you are the person who writes:
| 12ax7 wrote: |
Ground down by the constant "othering"? Funny, but I've been here for nearly 20 years and I don't feel like I don't belong.
| The Sultan of Seoul wrote: |
| Then no offense, but you probably live in a reality inside your own head. |
|
It takes a special type of person to complain about people arguing on one hand, while on the other dismissing people's actual experiences as something mentally delusional....in order to win an argument.
Self-realization not a strong point, I take it? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
12ax7
Joined: 07 Nov 2009
|
| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 5:00 am Post subject: |
|
|
| The Sultan of Seoul wrote: |
| Quote: |
| Ground down by the constant "othering"? Funny, but I've been here for nearly 20 years and I don't feel like I don't belong. |
Then no offense, but you probably live in a reality inside your own head.
I've known guys in SK as long as you with Korean wives and kids, who say they still get treated as outsiders even by their spouses familly and co-workers whom have known them many years.
Cheers. |
Korean wives? Sheesh. If they refer to their wives as "my Korean wife", then who really has a problem with perception? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
