Korean Job Discussion Forums

[northway]

Going in twelve threads and saying that Korea is the bestest is almost as obnoxious as going in twelve threads and saying that Korea sucks.

[Buddah's Slipper]

[Seoulman69]

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[Seoulman69]

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[Buddah's Slipper]

[Seoulman69]

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[earthquakez]

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[The Sultan of Seoul]

Nice to see I'm not the only one here with clear 20/20.

[earthquakez]

[earthquakez]

To add my pence worth to the debate, I have one true Korean friend. He is gay (I am not and I am a bloke) and we get along very well because back home I was also gay-queer friendly. People's sexual preferences don't bother me as long as they respect my boundaries.

Being an outsider in his own society, he is far more sensitive to foreigners than any other Korean I've met. He's given interesting perspectives on Korean society and Koreans too - views that 9 times out of 10 Koreans would never admit. He lived in Japan too (though for a shorter time than me) and agreed that Koreans will never get just why the image of Japanese people is better.

He found more Japanese people willing to put down the heirarchical nonsense and fulfil themselves as people rather than listen to somebody trying to keep them in a certain box because their age/status means they can mind another person's business. That's not a lot of Japanese people but more than in Korean society.

He also agree with my view that whether they realise it or not, Koreans' groupthink leads them to disrespect the lone person. I have noted time and time again in Korea how indifferent and downright callous Koreans can be to the foreigner walking alone - hard stares, no smile back, no offers of any help - whether the person is a male or female. I have heard female friends who lived in places like Jeolla and were walking alone near Korean merrymakers tell me how uncomfortable it was to walk past and be stared at hard, accentuating their lone status. These were Korean families having picnics etc.

I lived a long time in Japan and I heard many tales of females (and sometimes males - I was one of them) walking alone and being asked if they needed a ride on a hot summer's day by a courteous middle aged Japanese woman or men. Or offered drinks suddenly or simply being treated well by not being given the fixed stare. I have been solo in Japan and invited to join groups of Japanese - it has never happened in Korea and my female friends have said the same. My Korean friend says it is to do with utilitarian attitudes - the solo person is seen as not having anything to give so the Korean mentality in this case is they're not going to bother.

However, I have heard Japanese expression compassion for the lone foreigner while in Korea there is usually laughter and downputting comments. I maintain the Japanese are more empathetic and the Koreans more utilitarian - they pride themselves on being 'kind' to foreigners but frankly I've seen little of it especially when I am alone. They are self interested that way - foreigners in a group are seen as offering them a benefit which is why you will hear about Koreans at a beach or place somewhere sharing food with a group of foreigners but the lone foreigner is shunned.

The Japanese have 'giri - a sense of obligation for want of a better word but that translation doesn't express what giri really is. It can be very classy and considerate - Koreans (not my friend) love to tell me how 'two faced' Japanese are but give me their repaying favours anyday contrasted with the generosity of foreigners in Korean public schools taking their students out and being completely ignored by the parents etc.

Too many first-hand accounts of foreign teachers ignored at schools, hagwons etc on Teacher's Day by parents because they are the foreigner despite what they did in their free time for the students. At hagwons I've worked at in the past usually my contributing something first like food or drink to the teacher's room went unreciprocated when the Korean teachers bought food and drinks but didn't include me - it also happened to the other foreign teacher. Receptionists given cans of drink or gimbap making sure they give to other Koreans but not the foreigner who bought them some food on their long shift.

I have never experienced that in Japan. In Japan it's a very heartwarming experience to one day have your student's parent turn up at the school and invite you to a day trip in the mountains on Sunday because you have 'taken care' of their son or daughter.

These experiences were usual - from large kindnesses to being given food or a small gift for your care and generosity. I and foreigners I know have never been acknowledged by K parents or co workers in any way like that. The Japanese know how to make people feel comfortable and that includes foreigners when the foreigner is teaching them or their children, lives near them, or even as a stranger is walking past them enjoying their free time. It doesn't always happen but it happens a lot.

[Captain Corea]