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Dodge7
Joined: 21 Oct 2011
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 2:52 am Post subject: "What Kind of Relationship do You Have with Him?" |
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My wife has gotten this question many times when we are out. I was at the dentist getting my teeth checked, and the dentist turns around and says, "What is the relationship between you and him?" and then again at the meat counter getting some sam-gyup-sal sliced. When he's finished he says, "what kind of relations do you have with this guy?"
Why is this even remotely a concern to the dentist and a butcher? I'm honestly wondering.
Only in Korea.
Has this ever happened to you?
Can you imagine these sort of questions being asked in the West? Never. |
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coralreefer_1
Joined: 19 Jan 2009
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 3:36 am Post subject: |
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Personally I heard it many times back home, although the reasons were different.
In almost all cases, it was random people asking because they were interested in my lady, as in..wanting to date her themselves.
I agree, it really isn't someone's business, but its not exclusive to Korea. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 4:20 am Post subject: |
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It is a basic question in Korea. It establishes a part of social standing which in turn can affect how a person interacts with another (use honorifics or no, what to call that person (married man, or something else).
No big deal really.
That type of question, asked directly or indirectly is pretty common in Asia, less so back home where other questions replace it! |
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highstreet
Joined: 13 Nov 2010
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 5:24 am Post subject: |
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This question is asked in the West all the time. Just worded differently.
Is he/she your bf/gf?
Are you two a couple?
Are you two dating? |
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Dodge7
Joined: 21 Oct 2011
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 5:44 am Post subject: |
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highstreet wrote: |
This question is asked in the West all the time. Just worded differently.
Is he/she your bf/gf?
Are you two a couple?
Are you two dating? |
Yeah, from your friends or family---NOT THE BUTCHER AT THE GROCERY STORE. |
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Dodge7
Joined: 21 Oct 2011
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 5:46 am Post subject: |
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PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
It is a basic question in Korea. It establishes a part of social standing which in turn can affect how a person interacts with another (use honorifics or no, what to call that person (married man, or something else).
No big deal really.
That type of question, asked directly or indirectly is pretty common in Asia, less so back home where other questions replace it! |
I don't agree. The dentist spoke English and did not need to speak to me in Korean, therefore did not need to be concerned with speaking to me in honorifics.
Let's hear your next excuse. |
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Troglodyte

Joined: 06 Dec 2009
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 5:54 am Post subject: |
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When I saw the title of the thread I thought the OP was going to write about missionaries asking, "What kind of relationship do you have with Him?" |
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Nismo
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 5:57 am Post subject: |
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Troglodyte wrote: |
When I saw the title of the thread I thought the OP was going to write about missionaries asking, "What kind of relationship do you have with Him?" |
So did I. I was prepared to answer, "No strings attached."
To the OP - Maybe they're hot for you? |
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slothrop
Joined: 03 Feb 2003
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 6:45 am Post subject: |
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edit
Last edited by slothrop on Thu May 17, 2012 7:39 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 6:51 am Post subject: |
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Dodge7 wrote: |
PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
It is a basic question in Korea. It establishes a part of social standing which in turn can affect how a person interacts with another (use honorifics or no, what to call that person (married man, or something else).
No big deal really.
That type of question, asked directly or indirectly is pretty common in Asia, less so back home where other questions replace it! |
I don't agree. The dentist spoke English and did not need to speak to me in Korean, therefore did not need to be concerned with speaking to me in honorifics.
Let's hear your next excuse. |
It was not an excuse because frankly there was nothing to excuse!
The fact he spoke to you in English is pretty much irrelevant because he remains KOREAN and social position related to job, gender and marital status is quite important to Koreans when they interact with others.
Anyway, you want to be offended or bothered by this, that's your call.
Or perhaps the dentist and the butcher found you too hot to resist and wanted to know if you were on the open market....  |
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jinks

Joined: 27 Oct 2004 Location: Formerly: Lower North Island
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 6:53 am Post subject: |
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Nismo wrote: |
Troglodyte wrote: |
:lol:
When I saw the title of the thread I thought the OP was going to write about missionaries asking, "What kind of relationship do you have with Him?" |
So did I. I was prepared to answer, "No strings attached."
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Me too. I was going to say that we've broken up. |
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rabidcake
Joined: 10 Aug 2009
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 7:04 am Post subject: |
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PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
Dodge7 wrote: |
PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
It is a basic question in Korea. It establishes a part of social standing which in turn can affect how a person interacts with another (use honorifics or no, what to call that person (married man, or something else).
No big deal really.
That type of question, asked directly or indirectly is pretty common in Asia, less so back home where other questions replace it! |
I don't agree. The dentist spoke English and did not need to speak to me in Korean, therefore did not need to be concerned with speaking to me in honorifics.
Let's hear your next excuse. |
It was not an excuse because frankly there was nothing to excuse!
The fact he spoke to you in English is pretty much irrelevant because he remains KOREAN and social position related to job, gender and marital status is quite important to Koreans when they interact with others.
Anyway, you want to be offended or bothered by this, that's your call.
Or perhaps the dentist and the butcher found you too hot to resist and wanted to know if you were on the open market....  |
The butcher and dentist were clearly stunned as to why such an ugly girl would be with such a handsome stud. It's the only explanation.
OR...OR... They are just curious.
The whole world asks those questions. If you know and have even a slight relationship (or your GF) with either the dentist or a butcher anywhere in the world, then it's quite a common question. |
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comm
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 7:10 am Post subject: |
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rabidcake wrote: |
The butcher and dentist were clearly stunned as to why such an ugly girl would be with such a handsome stud. It's the only explanation. |
"How do you guys know each other?" is a powerful question. The answer and more importantly the way it's answered will tell you a lot about the relationship dynamic of the people involved. |
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rabidcake
Joined: 10 Aug 2009
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 7:21 am Post subject: |
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comm wrote: |
rabidcake wrote: |
The butcher and dentist were clearly stunned as to why such an ugly girl would be with such a handsome stud. It's the only explanation. |
"How do you guys know each other?" is a powerful question. The answer and more importantly the way it's answered will tell you a lot about the relationship dynamic of the people involved. |
I guess the question would have been more interesting if it went something like this:
"Young lady, what is this creature you have with you?" |
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The Cosmic Hum

Joined: 09 May 2003 Location: Sonic Space
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 8:27 am Post subject: |
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rabidcake wrote: |
"Young lady, what is this creature you have with you?" |
Given the often trollish nature of said poster...that sentiment seems more than appropriate.  |
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