Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ArgentineDreams]

I was wondering what experiences people have had when meeting your Korean girlfriend�s parents?

Basically I have been with my Korean girlfriend for 7 months, and they don�t even know I exist. I have met all her close friends, and she is definitely serious about the relationship. However, she said her parents are very traditional, and that to bring home a guy would be like the equivalent to announcing an engagement. She�s almost 30 (Korean age) and lives with her parents. I am curious, is this the expected cultural norm here? Or is this just her conservative parents?

[edwardcatflap]

This is the cultural norm here.

[jvalmer]

You ready to get married? A 30 year old Asian woman will not mention a boyfriend to her parents unless she is thinking something serious.

[Dodge7]

Luckily (for me) my wife only has one parent--her mom. So it wasn't so bad because she instantly accepted me. Whatever you do, stop at the store before you go to her house and buy a gift like a fruit basket or something like that and DRESS NICE--I went to my mother in laws place in jeans and a short sleeve polo shirt (not tucked in) and her mom commented on that. I'm just saying, if you want to impress, dress in your best suit and bring some fruit or another kind of gift and TRY to speak as much Korean as you can. And then, if they still don't accept, then you can say F it and continue on with what you're doing.
My mom in law still gets on me for not being able to speak Korean that well (because she's old and doesn't speak a word of English). I can say hello, goodbye (who can't though, lol), food tastes good, do you like blah blah blah, it's hot/cold outside, her hair looks pretty, I'm tired/sleepy and a ton of other total random words (basically caveman talk). She lights up when I speak Korean. You might/should be more advanced than I am. Just use what you know and that will take you far.
I'm not living her forever and I'll never "study" to get to conversational level (sorry mom) and my wife speaks great English and my house will be a 100% English household when my baby comes soon, so I don't even bother with it. If I become conversational overtime because I just picked it up, so be it, but I'm not going out of my way to learn the language (though I should...).

[Zackback]

My experience was a total freakin disaster.
I think the mom thought I was ok but the dad couldn't stand me right from the get-go. As others have pointed out to me it was because I was quite a bit older than their daughter (more than 20 years) and I was slightly older than the mom.
I never want to go through what I went through that day.

[Leon]

[JustinC]

[northway]

I made sure to eat a lot of her mom's cooking, ask for seconds, and comment on how delicious it was. My Korean is decent, but I felt really shy talking to her folks, like I was being tested, and was really quiet. Overall, though, her mom was really happy and her dad was tolerant. That said, I think her parents were a bit more chill in general, as they had met several of her sister's boyfriends in the past without establishing any level of seriousness.

[fezmond]

no complaints from me. parents are divorced so i saw both of them at separate times.

my mother-in-law was great, just told me to put on more weight. always force feeds me too much when he head down to gwangju.

father-in-law is a very quiet man who lives out in the country. we had a chat through my wife where he basically told me 'always be a man, don't act like a woman'. he doesn't speak to anyone much but he's always happy to shower me with hanwoo and beer.

[3DR]

Met my girlfriend's mother and sister and have been out with them on trips several times. They are cool with me and I'm even going to have them come over for a dinner and game night.

But...haven't met the father yet. Her sister's boyfriend is Korean and HE hasn't even met the father yet. Nobody knows what to expect considering I'm black Should be really fun.

[byrddogs]

Met the mother and brother on multiple occassions when dating my gf of over 4 years there. Her mother was motherly and always concerned about me and my wellbeing. I never met the father. He had already planned out and most likely paid for her wedding (in the hopes it was to a national), lol. Seems the one side was ok with it, while the other was just biding time til she wasn't with me. Whatever; she was a great girl that I'm happy to have shared my time in Korea with.

It's different dynamics here where I am now.

[joeteacher]

Luckily (for me too) my wife only has her mom in her life. I�ve only had to meet the dad once, and he pretty much just ignored me, which was fine with me. Her mom loves the hell out of me; she�s super cool and laid back. The first time we met was only stressful because she wanted the three of us to go to the noraebong about an hour after I met her. Knowing that I was a little nervous about singing in front of her, she kept buying me vodka tonics to loosen me up. We ended up being there a few hours and had a blast.
I�d just say don�t rush into the meeting the parents thing or take it personal that you haven�t met them yet. It doesn�t mean the girl isn�t serious or is ashamed of you. I know a mixed couple that dated 7 years before the parents ever met the guy. They are married now and everyone gets along great.

[ArgentineDreams]

Jvalmer- I am starting to think she is like that.

Dodge7- That sounds like some good advice. My Korean is actually probably about the same as you, random phrases & words here and there, asking random questions. I am not conversational though, especially with the confusing formal and informal. However, I feel like I should study and try harder.

Zackback- She is actually like 2 years older than me haha.

Northway- I am a big fan of Korean food.

Byrddogs- Yeah my girlfriend is super concerned about my well being too. If I am running low on things in my apartment (food, household items) she will get them delivered or bring them herself without even telling me. She also prepares Korean food that I can easily warm up when she�s not around to cook. So I could only imagine how her mother would be.

My girlfriend said her mom would ask me how big my savings account was. Anybody get questions like that? Or about income??

Also did any of you married guys live together before marriage?

[Malislamusrex]

OP - To answer your question this is normal.

I lived with my current wife for 7 months before her parents knew I existed. When I met her parents in the formal Korean 'meeting' I ticked the boxes for education and job and they liked me after 10 minutes. After 30 minutes they asked me when are you getting married.

Just to confirm, if you are meeting parents you are getting married.

[geldedgoat]

~12 months into our relationship, my girlfriend and I moved in together. ~18 months in, she told her mom about me (but obviously not that we were living together). ~24 months in, I met her mom very briefly. ~36 months in, she told her dad about me. ~38 months in, we got married.

Weird.