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What�s your experience? Meeting your Korean GF�s parents
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PatrickGHBusan



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -

PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 3:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gorf wrote:
Leon wrote:
Zackback wrote:
My experience was a total freakin disaster.
I think the mom thought I was ok but the dad couldn't stand me right from the get-go. As others have pointed out to me it was because I was quite a bit older than their daughter (more than 20 years) and I was slightly older than the mom.
I never want to go through what I went through that day.


I don't really think that's Korean culture though, it's hard to imagine any country where the average parent would be happy with that situation.


He also probably brought her in on a gag leash with her ankles shackled together, knowing Zackbag.


Also you have to think he may have showed up shirtless.
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ArgentineDreams



Joined: 09 Sep 2011

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 4:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

PartickGHBusan,

Wow it seems like you got a good story and experience. Are you a lifer here in Korea?
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Zackback



Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Didn't show up that way but all of them had seen me before running around like that.
Free course in global understanding.
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Landros



Joined: 19 Oct 2007

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 6:05 pm    Post subject: honesty Reply with quote

We went out to a restaurant to meet first. very awkward. I felt her dad was alright with me very quickly whereas her mother was very suspicious and stand off ish.

Most awkward moment was being asked what I saw in their daughter. I was very embarrassed to tell my gf at the time what I saw in her to translate to her mom and dad.

I just blanked out thinking what do I feel, what do they want to hear, how should I put it type of thing.

Guess it is just me being unable to express my feelings or being a private person.

I suppose I wanted to say you treated your daughter like crap and only cared for your son and she has been wonderful to me and we get along and trust each other type of answer but yeah very unprepared at the time to answer that one.

Should I have said the sex was good?

Know what your are going to say!
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PatrickGHBusan



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -

PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 5:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ArgentineDreams wrote:
PartickGHBusan,

Wow it seems like you got a good story and experience. Are you a lifer here in Korea?


I could have been but we left in 2008. We visit every year and my work allows me to visit Korea as well. We settled in Canada in 2008ish due to what I will call unexpected circumstances. Before that, we had no plans to leave Korea.
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coralreefer_1



Joined: 19 Jan 2009

PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 7:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The first time I met my fiance's parents when I went to pick her up from home to take her to a burn hospital for a serious burn she sustained on her calf from the tailpipe of my motorcycle. Not an ideal situation~

Before then however, I knew already her parents were rather cool with me...and remarkably the father is more at ease than the mother. She is the youngest daughter, and I am 10 years older, and while the father is quite friendly and such, the mother while friendly is more reserved (although my lady tells me that is mainly because she is shy)

I guess what helped me out more than anything was that I had always been telling her this or that about life, situations, etc...and it was always the same advice that her parents were giving her. Because she was going around telling her parents "My boyfriend said the same thing" so many times concerning various issues earned me points that I was a guy they felt had a good head on his shoulders.
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chungbukdo



Joined: 22 Aug 2010

PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 9:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

For you guys who know in advance that the father hates mixed relationships and stuff, how did it actually turn out upon meeting with the father?

My girlfriend knows that her father hates mixed relationships already, but I was kinda holding some hope that he might change his mind when its his own daughter.

Kinda worried, cuz he always calls his sister things like "crazy bitch" for marrying an Arab guy. That said, he hires Bangladeshis and stuff at his factory and really likes them. All his friends hire foreigners too. He just hates mixed relationships, not the people.
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PatrickGHBusan



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -

PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

chungbukdo wrote:
For you guys who know in advance that the father hates mixed relationships and stuff, how did it actually turn out upon meeting with the father?

My girlfriend knows that her father hates mixed relationships already, but I was kinda holding some hope that he might change his mind when its his own daughter.

Kinda worried, cuz he always calls his sister things like "crazy bitch" for marrying an Arab guy. That said, he hires Bangladeshis and stuff at his factory and really likes them. All his friends hire foreigners too. He just hates mixed relationships, not the people.


Hard to say based on the information you gave but you cannot lose by learning some basic Korean, being respectful of his position in the family and so on...
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

chungbukdo wrote:
For you guys who know in advance that the father hates mixed relationships and stuff, how did it actually turn out upon meeting with the father?


Initially the guy was going to kill me (and her), but upon meeting me he realized I'm awesome...now I'm the golden child. Cool

Eat kimchi, drink Cass, speak Korean, and love Korea...nobody can hate someone like that.
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:19 pm    Post subject: Re: honesty Reply with quote

Landros wrote:
Most awkward moment was being asked what I saw in their daughter.


The way the nips protrude thru the paper-thin Korean top on a humid Summer day? Parents want details!
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Modernist



Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Location: The 90s

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Eat kimchi, drink Cass, speak Korean, and love Korea...nobody can hate someone like that.

Oh. Oh. Such a nice soft puff of a pitch. I REALLY want to just lay this one right out. I REALLY do. SO easy. It's taking all of my powers of restraint to stop myself.

However. I have decided that being stuck-attached, to a Korean girl of all things [have you started the matching underwear yet?], and to Korea, of all places, is really punishment enough for the 'Ninja' here. I mean, voluntarily drinking Cass? Eating kimchi every day? He's doing it to himself. Nothing I could post would even echo the humiliation he inflicts on himself every single day, with his simpering 'I love Korea' comments again and again. It's pathetic. Embarrassing. I wonder if he'll still enjoy bowing to the supposed majesty of Korea so much after about 10 years here?

And for the record:

'No one can hate someone like that'?

I think someone could, actually. I'm pretty sure.
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Modernist wrote:
Quote:
Eat kimchi, drink Cass, speak Korean, and love Korea...nobody can hate someone like that.

Oh. Oh. Such a nice soft puff of a pitch. I REALLY want to just lay this one right out. I REALLY do. SO easy. It's taking all of my powers of restraint to stop myself.

However. I have decided that being stuck-attached, to a Korean girl of all things [have you started the matching underwear yet?], and to Korea, of all places, is really punishment enough for the 'Ninja' here.

bla bla bla... snip


I can go anywhere I like, I'm here cause I like it here. If you don't like it here why are *you* here? Please don't blame me because of your loser english teacher status in life.

No, we don't wear matching underwear, yet. Thanks for giving us the idea.
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Jonephant



Joined: 05 Jul 2010
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 2:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The first time i met my wife's parents was the first time i visited Korea on a tourist visa in 2004. I couldn't speak hardly any Korean, i could hardly use chopsticks and i was living in a goshiwan. Her parents are divorced so i met her mother and step father (with whom she has a surprisingly good relationship). We went to a big restaurant and had galbi. I thought it was going alright when suddenly my then girlfriend began crying. Apparently her step dad was ragging on me quite seriously. It was probably one of the most awkward moments of my life. We met them a few more times at family events. Fast forward a few years and we all had to attend a family wedding. I hate being left alone at these kinda things whilst my wife mingles, i saw her step dad (also standing alone) and started trying to talk to him. He seemed very pleased to see me. I guess as a non blood relation hes kinda on the outside too. Something changed in our relationship that day and its been pretty good ever since. Her mum has always been cool to me.
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Dodge7



Joined: 21 Oct 2011

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 11:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jonephant wrote:
The first time i met my wife's parents was the first time i visited Korea on a tourist visa in 2004. I couldn't speak hardly any Korean, i could hardly use chopsticks and i was living in a goshiwan. Her parents are divorced so i met her mother and step father (with whom she has a surprisingly good relationship). We went to a big restaurant and had galbi. I thought it was going alright when suddenly my then girlfriend began crying. Apparently her step dad was ragging on me quite seriously. It was probably one of the most awkward moments of my life. We met them a few more times at family events. Fast forward a few years and we all had to attend a family wedding. I hate being left alone at these kinda things whilst my wife mingles, i saw her step dad (also standing alone) and started trying to talk to him. He seemed very pleased to see me. I guess as a non blood relation hes kinda on the outside too. Something changed in our relationship that day and its been pretty good ever since. Her mum has always been cool to me.

Right then and there, that would have been it with me. I would have refused to see him again after that. Maybe after a couple years or so I'd see him again and try to reconcile, but if he apologized I would see him earlier. I would have said that he HAD to apologize or the relationship would never continue. That stuff wouldn't fly with me. I'm surprised you took it. He basically emasculated you and you just sat there and wanted to be his friend after that? I would have avoided all family gathering if he was present in protest until he said sorry.
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northway



Joined: 05 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dodge7 wrote:
Jonephant wrote:
The first time i met my wife's parents was the first time i visited Korea on a tourist visa in 2004. I couldn't speak hardly any Korean, i could hardly use chopsticks and i was living in a goshiwan. Her parents are divorced so i met her mother and step father (with whom she has a surprisingly good relationship). We went to a big restaurant and had galbi. I thought it was going alright when suddenly my then girlfriend began crying. Apparently her step dad was ragging on me quite seriously. It was probably one of the most awkward moments of my life. We met them a few more times at family events. Fast forward a few years and we all had to attend a family wedding. I hate being left alone at these kinda things whilst my wife mingles, i saw her step dad (also standing alone) and started trying to talk to him. He seemed very pleased to see me. I guess as a non blood relation hes kinda on the outside too. Something changed in our relationship that day and its been pretty good ever since. Her mum has always been cool to me.

Right then and there, that would have been it with me. I would have refused to see him again after that. Maybe after a couple years or so I'd see him again and try to reconcile, but if he apologized I would see him earlier. I would have said that he HAD to apologize or the relationship would never continue. That stuff wouldn't fly with me. I'm surprised you took it. He basically emasculated you and you just sat there and wanted to be his friend after that? I would have avoided all family gathering if he was present in protest until he said sorry.


For an awful lot of Koreans, meeting the foreign boyfriend is the first real interaction they've ever had with foreigners. I think it makes sense to offer a second chance, even for the most righteous assholes. I definitely get where you're coming from, but I think demanding that an adjossi lose face is a battle that you will lose every time.
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