Korean Job Discussion Forums

[cdninkorea]

My wife (Korean, if it matters) gets sexually assaulted with some frequency when she takes public transportation- guys touching her leg mostly. She's become assertive enough to tell the offender, "Don't touch me" (which does get them to stop), but she never reports it to the police.

It's quite frustrating for me to hear these stories. I don't know if that kind of thing is a "gateway" crime, i.e. if people who get away with less serious sex crimes commit more serious crimes in the future, but even if it isn't, I think she should report sexual assaulters as a matter of justice; they deserve punishment and shouldn't get away with that kind of thing.

Does anyone else deal with this situation? Your thoughts?

[edwardcatflap]

It's the old question isn't it. Do you report a crime that'll probably never get solved, waste a lot of your own time telling the police about it, being interviewed again at a later stage if they have a suspect, maybe going to court if he pleads not guilty, being called a liar by the defence etc etc... I think most people would probably say it wasn't worth the hassle for a quick grope the subway. That's not condoning the grope obviously, just looking at it from the victim's point of view. In Singapore they flog men (not women, which is ironically sexist) for this kind of behavior. Which I think is a little bit OTT.

[asdfghjkl]

I've never had to take off my shirt unless it had buttons, OP. Don't worry, they won't see your man boobs if you wear an undershirt.

[edwardcatflap]

Maybe the post above belongs in the thread about medical examinations?

[Landros]

It would be ideal if she was allowed to carry a gun. that would sure get some attention or slice his fingers with a carpet knife. I guess she could take a picture of the offender but that is just as dangerous.

I suppose there is a number to call or some kind of security in the subway but it sounds like it is probably a busy time and the train is crowded.

The only thing I can say is she should know that a bunch of the other men riding with here would love to smash that guy in the face if it is any consolation.

I am not sure if this helps at all but maybe have he stand or sit at different locations and see if it helps. I know on my bus I now go back a couple stops so I can sit down instead of standing in the middle riding with all the riff raff. not that anyone is touching my leg but it is just annoying to be crammed up against other guys.

I was able to change my hours so I miss the worst traffic. My best advice is don't lose your cool about it because freaking out will just mess up your own life. If at all possible live closer or avoid that line.

Sorry if this doesn't help much. I heard there was some talk about a women only train car but I don't know if it will take off. My wife takes our SUV to work and I ride public transportation.

[bbud656]

Maybe she should start recording it on her phone. Make a youtube channel and publicly shame them.

[Joe Boxer]

[Emark]

Solution:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InVMP0tRF4c

[JustinC]

I amuse myself by loudly stating "EXCUSE ME, stop touching me" to random strangers.

Okay I don't, but it would be funny if I did.

[PatrickGHBusan]

My wife reported a few pervs in the Busan subway for doing that. Two of them got a fine, the rest apologized if they were caught. Most of the time she could not know who actually did it as it was a jampacked subway car.

Here in Canada, she got the same "treatment" in the subway and on the crowded bus sometimes. She called out a few of the pervs, they ran off when they could. She also had the "pleasure" of having a freak sit across from her on the subway and flash her (and her friends).

Men can be pigs fellas.

OP, as for your wife, she could try reporting them. However brushing against the leg on a crowded subway makes it difficult. How can she be so sure who did it? that was one of the problems my wife had.

Ed made a good point, it is hard to catch someone clearly, have proof and get them convicted. Still, she could try, my wife did. It is sad women go through this on public transit.

[nautilus]

[nora]

First, where I come from, the term sexual assault means rape. I would change the title of the thread to sexual abuse, groping, inappropriate touching - something of that nature.

Second, remember the culture. If you lose face, that's bad. If you cause someone to lose face, you lose face. Calling someone a pervert on the subway, while right in the western sense, causes that person to lose face and thus, you to lose face. Sick, I know, but that's how it works and that's probably part of it, if not directly, subconsciously.

I'd tell her that if she reports it, it doesn't matter if they are caught. If everyone reports it, then the police will know where these crimes are occuring and focus more manpower on those locations to help stop it. By NOT reporting it, she is helping these people evade detection. Simply telling the police "hey, this happened at this time and place" helps them to know where to station officers.

I'd also point out that she doesn't have to tell her friends, or her family, or let anyone else know. Lots of people keep quiet out of shame. And finally, I'd have a serious discussion about how important this is to you - both personally (you care about her) and socially (it's morally wrong what these people do and you want to see justice done). You can probably convince her to report it.

At the same time, maybe this is just a hand brushing against her, a stare that's just a bit too long, etc. Maybe it's not enough to really push her to report it. I've had things like that before and rather than report it, simply shot them a look that said "i know what you're doing. don't do it again."

Its a complicated situation. good luck

[The Cosmic Hum]

[JustinC]

[PatrickGHBusan]