Korean Job Discussion Forums

[lush72]

One of the things that used to bother me at my old apartment complex was having to hear the nightly wife beatings that took place regularly. Sometimes the guys just couldn��t wait to start the abuse and started to slap their spouses in the elevator and or hallways. It was hell, and I had the police there almost daily. The police never did jack for the victims though..

Anyway I was researching Korean domestic violence to see what the figures were. Another poster here posted this link http://www.apiahf.org/apidvinstitute/GenderViolence/factsheet.htm

which had some sad statistics. I found another page http://www.projectbluesky.ca/english/cultural/korean.html which was a real eye opener.

The following passage was especially disturbing:

Traditionally, Koreans have considered domestic violence as a private matter which should be dealt with within the family. That is why Korean Police occasionally ignore or don��t intervene when DV incidents are reported. Women are taught and forced to live under the myth, ��Women should obey men��, which is a common belief in Korean society. For example, there is an old Korean proverb: ��Women should obey three men in their lives (so called SAMJONGJIDO): obey your father until your marriage, obey your husband until his death, and obey your son until your death.�� In addition to this, there is another saying, ��Women and dried pollack should be beaten every three days��, which even encourages the violence at home. Currently, equality between men and women is widely promoted in Korea, but the older generation still believes in male superiority. Due to the influence of this cultural aspect, many immigrants have difficulty adjusting to a new value system and lifestyle.

Does anyone else have any links to Korean Domestic Violence sites?

[Real Reality]

Domestic Violence in Asian and Pacific Islander Communities
F A C T S H E E T
December 2002
Introduction
Domestic violence is perpetuated by cultural beliefs and norms based on the devaluation of women.
http://www.apiahf.org/apidvinstitute/GenderViolence/factsheet.htm

Where is the survey results of domestic violence against men?

Hong Kong's abused husbands
Hard economic times in Hong Kong are being blamed for the emergence of a serious new social problem involving wives physically assaulting their husbands.
http://www.fact.on.ca/news/news0212/bc021213.htm

What Is Domestic Abuse And Violence Against Men?
Domestic abuse and violence against men and women have some similarities and difference. For men or women, domestic violence includes pushing, slapping, hitting, throwing objects, forcing or slamming a door or striking the other person with an object, or using a weapon. Domestic abuse can also be mental or emotional. In most cases, men are more deeply affected by emotional abuse than physical abuse. In some cases, humiliating a man emotionally in front of other men can be more devastating than physical abuse. Some professionals have observed that mental and emotional abuse can be an area where women are often more "brutal" than men. Men on the other hand are quicker to resort to physical abuse and they are more capable of physical assaults that are more brutal - even deadly!.

It has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence. Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse.

Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished, men usually end up feeling like nobody would believe them. It is widely assumed than a man with a bruise or black eye was in a fight with another man or was injured on the job or while playing contact sports. Women generally don't do those things.
http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/DomesticViolenceMen.htm

[Real Reality]

Domestic violence has increased over the past few years. The National Police Agency said the number of people arrested for domestic violence last year was 17,770, compared to 16,324 in 2002 and 15,557 in 2001.

Korea Women's Hot Line, a help center established for women's human rights, said last week it surveyed 198 housewives who were beaten by their husbands last year. Seventy-nine percent of the respondents said the violence started when they were newly wed. Among those who reported being victims of domestic violence, 39 percent said they were beaten more than once in a month and 58 percent said they were threatened with deadly weapons.

Korea Men's Hotline said 1,142 husbands called for help last year. Thirty percent reported physical abuse by their wives, including deep scratches from sharp fingernails or black-and-blue pinch marks. The other 70 percent said they had been abused verbally.

"One husband had to wear a plaster cast because his wife threw something at him and broke his arm. The number of husbands beaten by their female mates are more than we thought, and the situation is more serious," Korea Men Hotline's chief Lee Ok said. "Though some may think it is ridiculous, they, too, are the victims."
http://www.koreaherald.co.kr/SITE/data/html_dir/2004/05/18/200405180032.asp

[FUBAR]

That doesn't mean that domestic violence is increasing. It just means that Domestic Violence is being reported more often.

[Homer]

Precisely FUBAR...!

RR, please read and understand your stats before you post them.


Lush,

Concerning the abuse, you do realise that unless the women presses charges the cops can't do very much....
This is pretty much the same back home.

Its sad but some women are too afraid to file charges....

[Real Reality]

[mogikilla]

My friend was recently thrown against the wall several times by her psycho exboyfriend who forced his way into her apartment.

When the police arrived (an hour after she called them), they wouldn't take her report. They told her to cool off and if she was really sure she wanted to press charges, she should go to the station the next day. They wouldn't take pictures of her injuries or the broken mirrors, etc in the apartment, telling her "you have a camera phone, do it yourself". and since he didn't hit her with a closed fist, "he didn't really hit you then, did he?"

at the hospital, they x-rayed her and said that since no broken bones were visible, she must be ok. after visiting several doctors at different hospitals, one today said perhaps the excruciating pain she is experiencing (today is day 3) is due to some torn muscles in the chest/rib area. if she wants to check into the hospital for a week, they can give her adequate doses of pain medication but she can't afford to pay for a week's worth of hospitalization. the psycho ex won't have to pay for medical bills or damages because he is bankrupt. wow. bankrupt people can run around hurting people and damaging property with impunity?? (provided they don't try it with a closed fist).

the women's resource centers she contacted told her such cheery things as:
--a restraining order can take 4 months to process
--if she requires hospitalization for less than 2 weeks, she can't sue him for damages (or something like that. i had a hard time absorbing and retaining the ludicrous conditions. is this assuming he wasn't bankrupt already?)
--and other things that made me want to spit

the "bill collectors" say the circumstances would make it too obvious who requested the job if something were to happen to the ex, (unless lots of money was involved). since she has already contacted the police, the finger would point immediately at her.

she says if women retaliate in cases like this and the man presses charges, the woman can be sent to a mental institution because she's obviously too emotional and a danger to society.

So if you're wondering why more women don't report it in Korea, it seems like the answer is "because there is no point, nothing good would come of it".

I didn't hate this country until this week.

[khyber]

in the back of my mind (well, "back"...), i've ALWAYS thought it would be a GREAT idea to convince a group of people in Korea to start up a vigilante group.

Seriously though. I bet virtually ALL of the foreigners on here have seen SOME kind of bull sh$$ violence against women. So why not round up a couple guys, get some baseball bats and just break a few legs....?

I mean wouldn't that be great?.. i mean "great"? :twisted:

[Satori]

[peemil]

Edit- That's way too harsh.

[Hater Depot]

[ajgeddes]

Please forgive Homer. He is trying to make excuses again. Really, he should know that in Canada, it is much different. Police are not allowed to use discretion and must arrest the man as soon as it has been reported. It doesn't matter if the women want to press charges, because by using logic, they understand that sometime women are too scared to press charges. Get your facts straight Homer, it isn't the same as in Canada.

[periwinkle]

I wonder how much it would cost to pay some gangstas to perform a little vigilante justice. Mogikilla- sorry about your friend. I have a friend who's ex roughed her up. After they broke up, she found electronic bugs in her car, her house, and her cell phone. She had to move (she had bought her own apt.). She sold her car. She changed her cell phone, and if you want to call her, you have to dial a long code first. Also, she had to cancel all of her credit cards and change banks. He was stalking her, and he's a CEO of a computer tech company, and has connections up the wazoo, so he was monitoring who was calling her, her purchases, etc., etc. Really scary stuff. She couldn't do jack, and he just turned her life upside down.

[chiaa]

Right in front of Hollywood's there was a young man and woman arguing. As they were arguing you could tell dude was going to hit her. There was just something in the air about it. Bam! Right hook. Being the big hero that I am, I went flying over there and threw the guy to the ground. All I wanted was the guy to know that people were watching and he was not going to get away with that at this particular time.

His wife/girl friend started begging for his life. He's sorry. He doesn't normally do this yada yada yada. After 5-10 minutes of him talking shit to me (I really did not want to fight so I just let him yell whatever he wanted) the coppers arrived. I stepped into the gathered crowd as I did not want to get in any trouble or deal with them.

While the boyfriend would doing nothing but talk shit to me, he went after the coppers. They threw his ass against a rather large cable junction box and he thought better of continuing that struggle (always tried to figure out his logic here). At this point, the girlfriend started just beating the shit out of him. The cops half-ass attempted to stop her, but were kind enough to let her get a few shots in. I have never seen a 20 year old swing a purse like that.

The next day I found out from the African street salesman that sets up there that the took the guy to the station. I hope at the very least they contacted his mommy.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

I think international embarrassment would be one angle. Photo and videotape this stuff. Post it on the net. Post it on websites Koreans read.

Thankfully I now live in a house and not in an apartment and don't have to listen to any of this stuff anymore.