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Swallowing my pride
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Tyshine



Joined: 04 Apr 2011

PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had to leave the office. She kept repeting herself, looked at my computer.and tols me to stop, and when I tried to work on the classroom computer she shut it off while I was using it. Then she said I was lower class and one of those crazy foreigners. She is also threatening to blacklist me.

For the record I am not a lazy teacher.

Also this is posted via phone and therefore has some.mistakes.
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Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I had to leave the office. She kept repeting herself, looked at my computer.and tols me to stop, and when I tried to work on the classroom computer she shut it off while I was using it. Then she said I was lower class and one of those crazy foreigners. She is also threatening to blacklist me.

For the record I am not a lazy teacher.

Also this is posted via phone and therefore has some.mistakes.


How much longer do you have?

How long has she worked at the school? You never know, she might be

leaving in feb to go to a new school......

There are normally two sides to every story, and although you think that

you are super cool with your school ect ect, that is not always the case!

BUT assuming you are+you are a good, diligent teacher+ all the other

stuff and she is just against you.

1. Record everything she does - write it down with times/dates and who was in the room, do it in front of her - if she asks what you are doing, just calmly state 'i'm just recording your behavior.'

2. Try never to be alone with her in a room! This is very important!

3. ALWAYS KEEP YOUR COOL! no matter what she does, find your 'calm space' in your head, think of your winter hol, on a beach ect!

4. If I were you i'd just keep being nice to her, kill her with love! DO YOUR JOB, make sure the kids like/love and LEARN in your lessons.

Arrive at work before her, make her a coffee and all the other teachers, smile, be calm - give her and the others some cake.

SHE will lose it big time, just write it all down. move on - now never leave that book alone anywhere ......... or it will 'vanish!'

OR buy two identical books, leave the blank one on the table with a note inside saying 'stealing is bad!' Razz

Things like this will grind her down!

Others will say - WTF, why bring cake/make coffee ect - this is a war of attrition my friend, how you act in front of others is key to this.

Out of interest, is she married/have kids?

Roughly what's her age?
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NQ



Joined: 16 Feb 2012

PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have sort of a similar problem where I'm not allowed to talk to anyone above her, including the head of the English dept. who I like to talk to for advice. I think generally, all my coteachers are 2 faced to some degree, but she's not that bad. But anyway i'm not allowed to talk to her because of this hierarchy nonsense, or anyone else at the school regarding any issues I have. I had questions about my pay and it became a huge issue. I can't even ask anything, because she doesn't wanna answer any Qs. I could talk to the admin staff myself about my pay as the main person there does know English (better than my coteacher too) but I can't.

So I dunno, I started logging things down and taking recordings of my co-teachers conversations with me, just in case she pulls some 2 faced stunt. I don't know what I'm exactly gonna do, but I'm just gonna keep my records as some insurance policy.
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Moondoggy



Joined: 07 Jun 2011

PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sorry.. double post.

Last edited by Moondoggy on Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I have sort of a similar problem where I'm not allowed to talk to anyone above her, including the head of the English dept. who I like to talk to for advice. I think generally, all my coteachers are 2 faced to some degree, but she's not that bad. But anyway i'm not allowed to talk to her because of this hierarchy nonsense, or anyone else at the school regarding any issues I have. I had questions about my pay and it became a huge issue. I can't even ask anything, because she doesn't wanna answer any Qs. I could talk to the admin staff myself about my pay as the main person there does know English (better than my coteacher too) but I can't.

So I dunno, I started logging things down and taking recordings of my co-teachers conversations with me, just in case she pulls some 2 faced stunt. I don't know what I'm exactly gonna do, but I'm just gonna keep my records as some insurance policy.


This one is easy - the reason she�s!@##@! at you is because you 'went behind her back' and asked someone else for the information.

In your mind you did a logical thing you;

Saved her the trouble of asking for you and you got the answer more quickly AND you got the info from the 'horse�s mouth'

BUT - In Korea, all teachers have SET responsibility; she has lost 'face' because you did not go through her........You are/were her responsibility....

She has now washed her hands of you - but she is still your co-teacher...

I'd rec you approach her when she's alone. Tell her you relise you made a mistake (because you did) and try and take it from there.....

Hopefully she's a forgiving type! Laughing
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Moondoggy



Joined: 07 Jun 2011

PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

we have yet to hear from the other side of the story. it seems the op has an attitude problem. it, actually is one of the reasons that schools prefer female to male teachers.
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Tyshine



Joined: 04 Apr 2011

PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I have heard (via several sources) about her behavior. I've witnessed her make another teacher cry, yell at two other teachers, and was told from a fourth teacher she has cried over what had happened in the past between those two. I believe she believes everything she tells me, but I don't think she is of sound mind.

Was I perfect in this situation? Of course not, but I never raised my voice. I apologized many times for any offense I have caused to her or anyone else and said I would try and do my best to get along with everyone (I asked other teachers if people are constantly complaining about me and they said no-one is complaining, and that she uses this tactic all the time), but she would not relent. After I told her that it is not ok for her to instruct who I sit with she lost it, and would not stop talking at me. She insists it is my job to teach all other teachers, and if I insist on talking with my friend at lunch I would need to stay an hour extra each day. She had a very negative attitude of foreigners, and told me I come from lower class (she is rich). I said you should not generalize about foreigners like that, and she said she could tell I am lower class.

So I tried to get a teacher to speak on my behalf to the VP before she could, but he was out of the office. Now is the weekend and I do not wish to worry about things until Monday.
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Tyshine



Joined: 04 Apr 2011

PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Moondoggy wrote:
we have yet to hear from the other side of the story. it seems the op has an attitude problem. it, actually is one of the reasons that schools prefer female to male teachers.


My attitude is not perfect, but I did apologize for any insult or hurt feelings. I stood my ground on who I can sit with, which I realize caused unnecessary problems (but I do not always think clearly when I am upset).
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Moondoggy



Joined: 07 Jun 2011

PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tyshine wrote:
Moondoggy wrote:
we have yet to hear from the other side of the story. it seems the op has an attitude problem. it, actually is one of the reasons that schools prefer female to male teachers.


My attitude is not perfect, but I did apologize for any insult or hurt feelings. I stood my ground on who I can sit with, which I realize caused unnecessary problems (but I do not always think clearly when I am upset).


don't make enemy if you don't want mess. it doesn't matter whether the coteacher is a btch or an angel.
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NYC_Gal 2.0



Joined: 10 Dec 2010

PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Moondoggy wrote:
Tyshine wrote:
Moondoggy wrote:
we have yet to hear from the other side of the story. it seems the op has an attitude problem. it, actually is one of the reasons that schools prefer female to male teachers.


My attitude is not perfect, but I did apologize for any insult or hurt feelings. I stood my ground on who I can sit with, which I realize caused unnecessary problems (but I do not always think clearly when I am upset).


don't make enemy if you don't want mess. it doesn't matter whether the coteacher is a btch or an angel.


So he's supposed to just take it for the rest of his contract?
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TheUrbanMyth



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired

PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OP

SNIPER

Smile---say "yeah yeah" to whatever she says.

Nod---say "I'll get right on it"

Ignore---All the while planning to do no such thing.

Proceed---go back to doing what you were doing.

Expand---do more of what you were doing.

Repeat---As often as needed.
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Seoulman69



Joined: 14 Dec 2009

PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
After I told her that it is not ok for her to instruct who I sit with she lost it, and would not stop talking at me.


If she does that again leave the room and take a walk around the school. Concentrate on your breathing and staying calm.

Quote:
She insists it is my job to teach all other teachers, and if I insist on talking with my friend at lunch I would need to stay an hour extra each day.


Ignore this because it is a load of bs. If your vice principal ever says this then explain that you are happy to talk to other teachers if, and when, they need you and that talking to your friend doesn't negate that.

Quote:
She had a very negative attitude of foreigners, and told me I come from lower class (she is rich). I said you should not generalize about foreigners like that, and she said she could tell I am lower class.


She is clearly a spoiled rich girl. You can either a) ignore her taunts and keep a note of them, or b) verbally retaliate.
Here's an example: "My parents own a house with four bedrooms and three bathrooms. They both own their own cars and work for the government. My gran has her own apartment with two bedrooms. The apartment is on the top floor and has an unobstructed view of the sandy beach. My brother has a house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. He and his wife work for the council. My family usually takes three or four vacations a year and have been to countries you've never even heard of. They have a life you and your family can only dream of in your boxy little apartment. You think you have money but all the money in the world can't buy you class."
Once you've said that leave the room and walk away from her.

Quote:
we have yet to hear from the other side of the story. it seems the op has an attitude problem. it, actually is one of the reasons that schools prefer female to male teachers.


I wouldn't be so sure about that. I had similar problems and two years later I received an email apology from the teacher. All my co-teachers since have had no problem with me and have been a joy to work with.
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radcon



Joined: 23 May 2011

PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 3:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tyshine wrote:
She had a very negative attitude of foreigners, and told me I come from lower class (she is rich). I said you should not generalize about foreigners like that, and she said she could tell I am lower class.


I hate when this elitist mentality rears its ugly head. I would tell her " If you are so rich, why are you still so damn ugly? Can't you afford decent plastic surgery to make yourself look charming?"
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ewlandon



Joined: 30 Jan 2011
Location: teacher

PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 3:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If she brings up the class thing again just tell her you know that her Louis Vitton purse is fake and that ALL the other teachers have noticed and talk about it all the time.


She will prob quit.
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Stan Rogers



Joined: 20 Aug 2010

PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh for God sakes just sleep with her and get it over with!
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