Korean Job Discussion Forums

some waygug-in · Joined: 25 Jan 2003

My guess is she's also as ugly as a sack of hammers,

but I may be way off.

Sorry, I was responding to the previous poster's suggestion.

Really, really bad advice.

Don't do it. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dodge7 · Joined: 21 Oct 2011

This woman sounds psycho. OP face it, you aren't going to win her over so just stand up for yourself and smack her down.

giovanni · Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Location: NO

She sounds hurt and insecure which is manifesting into psycho behavior. I'd advice you to try (at least for a week) just buttering her up. Flattering her and going to her for advice. Say stuff like wow I never thought of that! Great advice. Ask her about her lavish digs and vacations and shopping trips. Don't make it a full time job just in bits and pieces as much as you can stand. If you need to get up and go for a walk be very apologetic and be like I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR MORE but then bounce

Just see what happens. Call it a social experiment.

newb · Joined: 27 Aug 2012 Location: Korea

Moondoggy · Joined: 07 Jun 2011

NYC_Gal 2.0 · Joined: 10 Dec 2010

I never said that I totally believed it, but if it is true, there is no reason that he should just bend over and let her have at it.

You say he's probably a problem employee, so you're the one making assumptions, so there's a bit of pot kettle black, yes? Even if his story isn't 100% true, you're turning the whole thing around and blaming him, when, to many of us here, we know that his situation is all too common. He's describing my first coteacher to a T. This woman would bring her own cup and chopsticks to restaurants, then ask the staff to wash them when she was done. She was in her 50s, unmarried, and miserable. Everyone (the Korean staff being everyone) said that she was weird, and she had problems with me being friends with the other teachers, but I just smiled and continued as I had been doing. She threatened me about renewal a few times, even though I did volunteer work for the guidance counselor's office, went above and beyond with my lessons, brought homemade baked goods in all the time for the entire staff (with separate plates for the principal and VP to show their status,) and the kids adored me. I casually dropped that my uncle's an international contract lawyer and had friends with an office in Seoul. She stopped bothering me, and I was renewed.

Who's Your Daddy? · Joined: 30 May 2010 Location: Victoria, Canada.

I worked with one of these nuts co-teachers years ago. Urban Myth's advice is the best; just ignore her and do what you want. If she starts a tantrum, just walk out of the room.

That being said, I finished the year with the nutter, and changed schools at the end of the contract - but I regret not quitting. It was a terrible year, and I wouldn't go through it again. In retrospect it wasn't worth it. I should have just lined up another job and left.

Moondoggy · Joined: 07 Jun 2011

Tyshine · Joined: 04 Apr 2011

Its hard to assume anything based on just one side. For the record I have never been fired, or had a sit down about my attitude at any of my many past jobs. I take pride in whatever work I do, and did not come here for a one year trip. This teacher has even praised my lesson plans. I am far from a great teacher, but I do genuinely try hard.

Anyway, I will try to be as honest and as non-bias as I can. In the past, she has told me several times that teachers saying I do not say hello when I see them. I always smile and give a friendly greeting. I will admit sometimes I am not the most aware of my surroundings, and may have missed someone. I felt very worried when she used to tell me this, and I asked around and didn't hear that this was the case. I have told her before and Friday several times that I apologize if I have been rude to another teacher at any point, and I will do my best to say hello. However, she keeps repeating this same point.

Many on here suggested I ignore her, and that is exactly what I tried. I went to use the computer in my classroom and she followed me out and turned it off. Then when I went back into my office she kept repeating how other teachers are complaining I do not say hello, but she defends me over and over (she is constantly telling me about how she defends me to other teachers). I told her we have already discussed this many times, and I can personally apologize to anyone I may have offended. She then said that is very rude too. I tried to work at my desk, but she did not stop talking and telling me I can't go to that website, use my phone, and I can only work on my lesson plans (which I did,even though I am already ahead in lesson planning, so she would stop talking, but it didn't work) I only left the room (went to look for another English teacher so I could talk with the VP) after she made personal insults about my class and that I am a foreigner.

For what I did wrong is she said lets go to the VP and I said "I don't speak Korean, and can't believe your words." I wasn't trying to call her a liar, but wouldn't trust anyone in that kind of emotional state. Also when I went to work on the computer in the classroom she said stop I don't trust you to work here, and I said no to her.

I think its a combination of me not being overly submissive to her (telling her very calmly I don't think its fair to say who I can talk with/leaving the room to use another computer and then refusing to go back), her insecurities, and she most have lost face with me not sitting with her at lunch (because when I used to do that I never heard one complaint from other teachers-via her- and that was for two months). Also no other teachers have come to talk to me about my attitude with other teachers, and when I have asked they have said there is no problem. I know this isn't a 100% that its true, but I believe their complaints are not as large as she makes them out to be. Especially since I have heard she has used this tactic with other teachers, saying negative things about them and saying it comes from other sources.

So Monday will come and I will go from there.

transmogrifier · Joined: 02 Jan 2012 Location: Seoul, South Korea

I've never met anyone as unhinged as the person you describe here, so I can't speak from experience. All I can do is echo a previous post - ignore her tantrums and just be the best teacher you can be. That's the only real option. Having the ability to ignore annoying people is a great advantage.

PatrickGHBusan · Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 3:19 am Post subject:

Tyshine,

Sorry this happened or is happening to you. Working with difficult co-workers can be hard and challenging on a personal and professional level. All I can say is that I would certainly not quit a good job (as a general statement, no directed at your particular situation) because of one bad co-worker. Basically, every job will have people you do not get along with or disagree with. Most jobs will have one slightly off person who makes others uncomfortable, every job will have sub-groups of people who hang out, gossip and a healthy rumor mill. You just have to learn to deal with it and in your particular case, largely ignore this person (like Urban said).

Good luck anyway.

blm · Joined: 11 Nov 2010

This sounds lame but if you just want to move on with your life...

Say sorry to her and with one other person nearby. If she is older then she has to win this.

I have done this with one crazy old bat. I felt I was 100% in the right but just said sorry anyway and that was the end of it. While I was the one that said sorry her behavior afterwards was just like if I had of won the argument.

Another co worker approached me and said he was very proud of me for doing so. Korean's aren't oblivious to this BS dynamic where young people have to apologise for older peoples mistakes.

The alternative is you "win" this battle by holding your ground and then have to be playing defence for the rest of the year.

The third way would be to hold out until the next round of heavy drinking at your school and theirs a good chance that fixes it....unless you are an angry drunk.

Moondoggy · Joined: 07 Jun 2011

NQ · Joined: 16 Feb 2012

Tyshine · Joined: 04 Apr 2011

I agree its hard to smile and nod when you are completely disrespected and not even so much as apologized to. I got different advice, and my own dad said just lay down and take whatever they say. I decided not to, and am happy I did. My situation is more uncomfortable now, but imo it is better than letting someone run you over.

My coteacher said simply we should have a professional relationship. Then she mentioned the contract several times (I have never once disagreed with my hours), but emphasized the contract a lot. She also said to not compare me with other teachers, but then did so herself. Finally, she made a threat about my evaluation and that I would see the VP and he would tell me everything she said.

I saw the VP with a neutral translator, and it went well. He listened to what I had to say. He didn't mention most of the things she said. He just said I first have to ask her permission to do anything. I said no problem. He also said not to go to other teachers with problems. I explained I needed translation, and wasn't looking for an ally. I also said no problem I will go to you and the teacher who was currently translating directly. He was reasonable, and it felt okay.