Korean Job Discussion Forums

[tellhernow]

I'm a long-time lurker here on Dave's who's finally made the jump!! Been living and teaching esl in NYC for a few years. Decided time to go!

I'm moving to Seoul in August and must decide whether to take a stipend and live with my dear Korean friend who's invited me to live in with her. She lives alone in a family apartment for free, she's just paying utilities, which I would help pay. Or should I go with the school housing? I am working with EPIK/Seoul public schools.

My original choice was to of course live with her! It's a big apartment with a full kitchen, I could practice Korean language and cooking, and generally just have fun instead of living alone.

But, I asked my recruiter for his advice and he said school housing. However, after reading some thread here on Seoul school housing, I'm unsure.

Any advice? Anyone here live in SMOE housing?

I'm still in the interview phase, but I have to decide before I formally accept anything.

More info: Friend lives in Changdong, which is northern Seoul on the 1 and 4 line. I know it's not a happening area, but I don't mind. It's not far from Hyehwa.

Thank you everyone. (Also, I love this forum. It's a godsend times 403823502934.)

[le-paul]

Ive noticed that alot of koreans have a strange concept of sleep and tend to do most things at night and sleep late into the morning. that makes being up and about into the early hours and generally being loud and annoying, the norm.
ive noticed this behaviour (with my eyes and ears) seems to be exacerbated by being of university age too.

its her home, so her rules.

also, ive noticed with my eyes, koreans can take things very very personally and really hate any kind of criticism. Ive also observed with my own eyes, that korean girls can hold a grudge for something very small for a long time.

i personally wouldnt live with anyone that you arent close enough to to have a fight and then make up an hour later and still be the same good friends ( not saying that will happen, just that the level of friendship usually works better if youre close). if youre not close to someone it can be quite awkward bringing some things up ( dirty dishes, used sanitary products lying around the bathroom or whatever).

[Smithington]

For the sake of your sanity get your own place. Is your Korean friend "korean' or gyopo? Either way, they tend to be extremely thin skinned about any criticism of Korea. Once you arrive here you will realize that there is a lot to complain about, and if you take your grievances home with you it will affect your friendship. Also, sometimes you need to escape from Korea into your home and lock Korea out altogether. You need your 'sanity' space. Having a Korean in your home (with all the 'annoying' cultural traits that many of them have) will likely drive you batty. Again, how well do you know your 'Dear Friend'? How westernized is she?

The gap in cultures here is huge, so much so that many Westerners who have been here for years can't name one Korean friend. Having a Korean in your home likely means enduring objectionable table manners, door slamming, excessive noise (all the time), blaring television, Korean dramas, K-pop....and crowds of Koreans dropping by your home. If any of those visitors are male expect a lot of snorting, hacking, spitting, grunting and vigorous throat clearing. All of this we must endure outside our home every day. Why invite that into your home?

Get your own place. You'll thank me later.

[le-paul]

[Dodge7]

[Ranman]

You'd be a fool not to get your own place. Want to hang out with your Korean friend? Go visit them or spend the night, but you're gonna want your alone time, and Koreans are notorious about freaking out about the slightest things.

Live with that? Fat chance.

[lemak]

Alone.

Remember when you were a kid at a slumber party or school camp. Night one was fun and exciting. Crazy times. Night 2 sucked ass and you very quickly missed your own stuff and place.

Do you know the Korean from the U.S..? You may find also that she's nowhere near as laid back now that she's on her home turf and hit by societal pressures that you can't compete with.

Get your own place and if you want to go around to her apartment on the weekend for pillow fights and swapping knitting patterns or whatever else females do together then you have that option available.

(*edit* Just realized everyone is assuming you're a chick...if you're a guy and the "dear Korean friend" means something more than just that then would need to see some bikini shots of said dear friend - PM if necessary - to provide accurate advice)

[PatrickGHBusan]

Ignoring the rididucous "lock Korea out of your home and life" comment...I fully agree with others: get your own place.

[Dodge7]

[PatrickGHBusan]

[Dodge7]

[tellhernow]

Thank you all for your input. It's a pretty overwhelming response and I realize I should expand on our friendship.

I am female for those that were unsure

We have known each other for a year and a half. She is has lived in the u.s. and traveled here a lot, we met here in NYC while she was working for a company on a j1 visa. While here, we spent time together and she even stayed with my family and i at a beach house last summer. She is two years older than (30), me has a graduate degree and a full time job working with disabled children. We both cried when she told me she was leaving america. I bought tickets to korea just to tell her the goodbye wouldn't be so hard. When I visited Korea in October, she and I traveled to a few places in Korea together (bus trips overnight stays). Her family lives in Daegu, they won't be popping in. Also one commenter mentioned Korean boys popping in, which wouldn't be happening since she is in a long term relationship with a man who is often away on business trips.

As for my familiarity with Korean culture, I've worked exclusively with Korean adults for about 2 years and made close friends with many of them. They've taught me mountains worth of koreaness so to say. I know it's different being there. But when I was there I looked at the country with as unbiased eyes as possible. I stayed with Koreans rather than other foreigners. I have many contacts in Seoul from my job here in NYC, all of whom opened their homes up to my while I visited in October.

I feel like this information may change some minds?

I definitely understand the responses about being alone. I've lived in NYC alone for 2 years and 3 years with roommates both friends, and strangers. Even when I live with someon, I find ways to "shut out" whatever world I am in. NYC tends to grate on the nerves once in a while.

I highly prefer roommates. Especially with my own private room (lived in a studio apt for a year with my gay male best friend ooh lol)

I've never had any problems with roommates as long as some ground rules are set. I guess the best action to do before choosing is talk to her about her style of living and having a roommate and what is acceptable/not.

The main reason I'd want to live in school housing is to be able to be more flexible with where I am placed/not have to commute a million hours. (My NYC commute is a bus and a train, 50-60 minutes, I hate the bus part.)

Thanks for your continued advice ^^

[tellhernow]

[PatrickGHBusan]

[PatrickGHBusan]